Open Letter to the Chicken and the Egg
The Chicken or the Egg
I'll begin my letter to you by confessing a secret. I have a crush on you. I've been infatuated with you for many years. You are my comfort food. When I'm feeling blue there's nothing like you to get me in better spirits. I could just pick you up and devour you in so many ways.
Sure there is that other white meat, but you offer more unique options. Whether it's your succulent chicken legs, firm breasts, tender thighs or wondrous wings you always bring a smile to my face.
I'm more of a legs and thighs kind of person, but I'll take what I could get when I'm in the mood. I could gobble you whole, but I tend not to.
Whether you are served fried, grilled, sauteed, roasted, rotisserie, stuffed, baked, stripped, nuggets or marinaded you are truly scrumptious.
I tend to cube you up and toss you around in a cold pasta salad. You seem to enjoy hanging out with the red beans, sliced carrots, slivered celery and diced onions. Once I toss some mayo over the gang you all look like a rainbow of delight. The salt and pepper I add is the icing on the salad. Yummy!
Your wings are delectable! Petite, yet plentiful. I prefer you breaded, but you look good naked too! I like to take you for a dip in a cup of blue cheese dressing. Oh and the crunch from your celery sidekick is divine! You are so hot, yet tangy when dashed with teriyaki flavoring.
I am grateful for the egg-ceptional eggs that you produce. The multitude of things we do with those eggs are infinite! You sly devil! The many ways we consume your spawn are endless! The size, shape and texture of your ovum is impressive. They crack up so often. They are so easily entertained.
We were once told not to eat so much yolk. That's no joke! Word on the street was that yolk was high in cholesterol, yet we now realize that the yolks are bound with beneficial nutrients. Whether I enjoy your eggs hard, soft, over-easy, scrambled, fried, benedict or in an omelet I appreciate you. We all like to be appreciated, don't we?
You truly are an amazing creature! You have a voice and we hear it! Your cocky, clucking sound could be heard for miles when you are over-excited! Your stocky body is stunning, yet I advise you to bathe a bit more often. Your species is considered domesticated fowl. Rumor is your skin is foul and not the cleanest part of your body. Just a bit of advice from one of your biggest fans.
Calm down! I didn't intend to ruffle your feathers! I was just being my usual helpful self and offering some meaningful advice.
There's no need to walk on eggshells. I got your neck! Mostly in soups, but I still got it! I didn't choke you, actually I don't have that capability.
I wish for you many more years of reproducing. May your offspring always be bountiful and never be a rotten egg.
May the buzzards never circle around your gizzards! May your chicken feed always be plentiful and your coops always be comfortable.
May you never get stuck in the muck as you cluck. Long live the chicken and the egg!
Are you a fan of The Chicken?
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"
- Author Unknown
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© 2012 Linda Bilyeu