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Open Letter to the Chicken and the Egg

Updated on March 30, 2014

The Chicken or the Egg

I'll begin my letter to you by confessing a secret. I have a crush on you. I've been infatuated with you for many years. You are my comfort food. When I'm feeling blue there's nothing like you to get me in better spirits. I could just pick you up and devour you in so many ways.

Sure there is that other white meat, but you offer more unique options. Whether it's your succulent chicken legs, firm breasts, tender thighs or wondrous wings you always bring a smile to my face.

I'm more of a legs and thighs kind of person, but I'll take what I could get when I'm in the mood. I could gobble you whole, but I tend not to.

Whether you are served fried, grilled, sauteed, roasted, rotisserie, stuffed, baked, stripped, nuggets or marinaded you are truly scrumptious.

The Chicken and The Egg
The Chicken and The Egg | Source

I tend to cube you up and toss you around in a cold pasta salad. You seem to enjoy hanging out with the red beans, sliced carrots, slivered celery and diced onions. Once I toss some mayo over the gang you all look like a rainbow of delight. The salt and pepper I add is the icing on the salad. Yummy!

Your wings are delectable! Petite, yet plentiful. I prefer you breaded, but you look good naked too! I like to take you for a dip in a cup of blue cheese dressing. Oh and the crunch from your celery sidekick is divine! You are so hot, yet tangy when dashed with teriyaki flavoring.

I am grateful for the egg-ceptional eggs that you produce. The multitude of things we do with those eggs are infinite! You sly devil! The many ways we consume your spawn are endless! The size, shape and texture of your ovum is impressive. They crack up so often. They are so easily entertained.

We were once told not to eat so much yolk. That's no joke! Word on the street was that yolk was high in cholesterol, yet we now realize that the yolks are bound with beneficial nutrients. Whether I enjoy your eggs hard, soft, over-easy, scrambled, fried, benedict or in an omelet I appreciate you. We all like to be appreciated, don't we?

You truly are an amazing creature! You have a voice and we hear it! Your cocky, clucking sound could be heard for miles when you are over-excited! Your stocky body is stunning, yet I advise you to bathe a bit more often. Your species is considered domesticated fowl. Rumor is your skin is foul and not the cleanest part of your body. Just a bit of advice from one of your biggest fans.

The Chicken

The Chicken or The Egg
The Chicken or The Egg | Source

Calm down! I didn't intend to ruffle your feathers! I was just being my usual helpful self and offering some meaningful advice.

There's no need to walk on eggshells. I got your neck! Mostly in soups, but I still got it! I didn't choke you, actually I don't have that capability.

I wish for you many more years of reproducing. May your offspring always be bountiful and never be a rotten egg.

May the buzzards never circle around your gizzards! May your chicken feed always be plentiful and your coops always be comfortable.

May you never get stuck in the muck as you cluck. Long live the chicken and the egg!

The Chicken or The Egg
The Chicken or The Egg | Source

Are you a fan of The Chicken?

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Adult Joke

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"

- Author Unknown

Blackened chicken using an iron skillet is delicious!

How To Crack An Egg

Why did the chicken cross the road?

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© 2012 Linda Bilyeu

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    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hahaha, Effer! I forgot this hub was part of my 30/30...maybe that is why I have never considered a 30/30 again! LOL

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      OMG.....GF...a blast from the past. I actually remember when you wrote this. I just read some of the comments. I don't think I could write another comment as clever as the one I wrote 3 yrs. ago...UhOh....losing my touch? On NO!!! It's bad enough to age in real life...but aging on HP?? Help!

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 2 years ago from Florida

      Hi Linda,

      This is so funny and the chicken video is helping me type faster and now it is giving me a tic. HA!

      I am sharing with Twitter and pin it on my re-pin board @ Pinterest.

      Have a happy chicken day---I wish I had the energy of the hen in the video.

      Bobbi Purvis

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Awww-you ticked my funny one Linda!!

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      Oh yes i am a great fan of chicken and you have said it well in this hub how i felt too

    • Dip Mtra profile image

      Dip Mtra 2 years ago from World Citizen

      Hahaha, not ha ha ha, lest you think I suffer from asthma. Great tribute to great comfort food, funny and funnier as it proceeds. Voted up.

    • Dip Mtra profile image

      Dip Mtra 2 years ago from World Citizen

      Hahaha, not ha ha ha, lest you think I suffer from asthma. Great tribute to great comfort food, funny and funnier as it proceeds. Voted up.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 2 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      My grandson raises chickens so I'm passing this along to him. He will love it as much as I do!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Mr Archer, Thank you kindly for your egg-cellent comment!

      Nell Rose, Yes those chickens do need to be careful with their necks ;)

      MizBejabbers, I do know these chickens were irritated with me when I was taking their photos. They sure do taste good! :)

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 5 years ago

      Pretty good. I hope the chicken has a sense of humor and thinks it is an funny as we do. I used to try to make pets out of grandma's chickens, but they wouldn't have any part of it. I guess they knew they would eventually end up in her pot, so there was no use being nice to me.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Oh my god! hilarious! poor little chicken! its a wonder its not keeping its legs crossed to hold onto its eggs! and the neck joke! hee hee! brilliant! gotta share it again, can't help it! lol!

    • Mr Archer profile image

      Mr Archer 5 years ago from Missouri

      Don't forget: Chicken Soup is good for the soul! Great hub, and funny as all get out! Loved it!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Christy, I really liked that line too! :))

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      My fave line is: I like you breaded but good naked as well LOL

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Vinaya ~ LoveDoctor926 ~ Heather Says ... Thank you for sharing in the humor with my letter to the chicken and the egg! :)

    • Heather Says profile image

      Heather Rode 5 years ago from Buckeye, Arizona

      This reminds me of waitressing in college at a diner that served chicken and eggs (like steak and eggs). I fondly referred to it as The Paul Simon Special-- the mother and child reunion! Most people didn't get it or thought it was a lame joke. Great hub!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      Voted up funny and awesome! The chicken and Sunshine were chatting. hahhaha. I liked the adult joke, the why the chicken crossed the road joke and chicken dance video.

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      Happy Birthday Linda.

      I came back for a second read, thanks for always spreading your sunshine smile.

      Lots of love from Nepal.

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 5 years ago from Germany

      I love chicken but I don´t like to think how he died and landed to my plate. This is a funny hub. Thanks for sharing. Voted up and funny!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hi Daisy, My subjects are just a gift that keeps on giving. :)

      Hi Keith, LOL! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Long live the chicken and the egg!:)

    • profile image

      KDuBarry03 5 years ago

      Long live the chicken and the egg...until I see them at Shoprite! haha! :) Have you ever had Rosemary and Lemon Chicken? It's absolutely the best!

      This is very funny. I absolutely love it! When I was first reading it, I thought it was gonna be all about the animal; until you said, "You are my comfort food", you got me! Fantastic job :)

      -KD

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 5 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Sunshine,

      This is a very funny Hub. How do you come up with the subjects for your *letter* Hubs?!? You amaze you me with some of the subjects you address in your letters.

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Audra, Eddy, Ava and Vinaya ... Thank you for visiting with the chicken and the egg!:)

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      I love chicken, but I feel sad every time I use it for dinner.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      What a great hub;I loved it.

      Take care

      Eddy.

    • profile image

      onlooker 5 years ago

      This is awesome Linda, thank you! I am on chicken's side too. What a fun and interesting way to put things. Hope you don't have rotten offspring, chicken! =)

    • profile image

      iamaudraleigh 5 years ago

      Linda, you made me smile this morning! I was totally entertained by your admiration here! Voted up for being funny!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      A padded room seems like a much needed place to get some rest and relaxation. I'll keep you posted Mary as to the time and place!:)

      Thank you klyaksa!

      No need for a response justateacher, just sending some love to the chicken and the egg!:))

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Although you wrote this months ago, I just came across it..what an inspiring letter to the chicken! I laughed all the way through your letter! I am like one of the others who left a comment - how would the chicken respond to this letter? Hahaha

    • klyaksa profile image

      klyaksa 5 years ago

      This is funny, thank you for brightening my morning.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      If you're giving out padded rooms SS, sign me up! I think you are to be commended on your originality here, who else would think to write a letter to a chicken? Except for Foghorn Leghorn's dog friend or the occasional hawk swooping down, there aren't too many chicken chasers, AND most people just eat chickens without conversing.

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hi Cardisa! Thank you for checking out my chicken and egg and for reading my interview with Vinaya. I was honored he asked me and pleased to answer his questions. It's always nice to see you around!:)

    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 5 years ago from Jamaica

      So I absolutely missed this one and just read your interview and was very impressed.

      I had a few chuckles here and there in this one. I too am a fan of the chicken and eggs...lol

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      lol good answer Justin!!!

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      sunshine, i won't tell them... ignorance is bliss (for the chicken)

    • Rtimes profile image

      Rtimes 5 years ago from Placerville, California

      Thanks for the Welcome Sunshine625

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      @PDX I agree! There are so many unique dishes for the chicken AND the egg! Ssshhh don't tell them that:)

      @girltalksshop Thank you for your comment!

      @Rtimes, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Welcome to HubPages!

      Thank you all!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      @stoker than I too shall be a chicken!:)

    • Rtimes profile image

      Rtimes 5 years ago from Placerville, California

      I love the chicken and the dancing chicken video.

    • profile image

      girltalksshop 5 years ago

      I like chickens, afterall they are a bird, aren't they? Cute as chicks too. Found your hub interesting. : ) Thanks for the share!

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      wonderful article, Linda. I like that chicken can be put in almost any dish and improve it. I'ms till waiting for an adequate vegetarian option, though...

    • Stokermm profile image

      Stokermm 5 years ago from Gainesville, FL

      Remember when you told me that I would turn into a chicken since I ate sooo many chicken fingers as a kid? Well...the same goes for you!!! You chicken addict. :) This was a very random but funny hub!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I understand Stephanie. I was visiting with some chickens at a flea market yesterday, I told them about my letter...they didn't seem excited. There were some goats there who seemed interested in a shout-out. I opted out. Thanks for your comment:)

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image

      Stephanie Henkel 5 years ago from USA

      Thank you Sunshine! Chickens and their eggs are some of my favorite foods, too, though I don't really like to think too much about those cute, fluffy looking chickens fried up for my dinner... Love the video of the chicken dance!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thank you Tara! I'm glad you enjoyed it and found it egg-cellent enough to add to your Hub Of The Week!:)

    • tarajeyaram profile image

      tarajeyaram 5 years ago from Wonderland

      Thank you for the "letter" Linda. This hub cracked me up so much. Your creativity is excellent and I couldn't resist not putting this on my fav hubs of the week - Jan 29. Great hub.

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thank you Sally for your comment! :)

      drbj, you by far have the most wittiest comments on HP. You are the best!:))

      HSB! How very true! I ate gator and it kind of taste like chicken, but not as yummy! Thanks!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      @Ardie, Chicken and eggs everyday? It's like I knew that and wrote this hub for you! It's like I have ESP! Awesome!

      @Tina, I'm glad you enjoyed this hub. I visited with this chicken in November when we went to a pumpkin patch, I wonder if he misses me? lol

      Thank you both for your witty comments:)

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 5 years ago from Texas

      I love chicken too. Everyone must, all the other meats are always said to taste just like chicken. and chicken is so much easier to come by than frog legs, alligator or shark! LOL!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      In honor, Linda, of this delightfully funny hub:

      I bought a little chicken, its feathers white as snow.

      I then began to feed him and he began to grow.

      When he was big enough I bid him fond adieu

      And cooked a chicken dinner just enough for me and you.

      Voted up, m'dear.

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 5 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      What a delightful read! I enjoyed the wonderful plays on words. Up and funny. :)

    • thougtforce profile image

      Christina Lornemark 5 years ago from Sweden

      What a creative and fun letter! Chickens are fun to talk to, useful and so great to have. I miss my chickens so I am glad you shared yours! I loved the hub and the chicken dance!

      Tina

    • Ardie profile image

      Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

      Your best letter YET! I love your advice to the chicken before you ruffled its feathers. Seriously, who better to let dear chicken in on the rumor than a trusted fan? I have to admit my obsession with chicken and eggs too. Anyone who knows me personally knows I eat eggs for breakfast and chicken on salad for lunch EVERY day. I'm OCD like that :) Cute hub! Lots of votes

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hi Cyndi, Thank you for sharing your thoughts on our favorite fowl. Have an eggcellent weekend! :)

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 5 years ago from Georgia

      Oh, this was so cute! I loved that joke, as much as I love chicken! Great tribute to a staple that most of the world enjoys as much as you do. Clever article!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      @Tammy ... see adult joke above for your answer:))

      @cebut ... we got to love the chicken, or not. Thanks for your comment!

      @Sunnie, I also name my chickens and turkeys! It makes the meal more personal when I devour them. Haha! I hope your chickens enjoy the prayer. Haha! Thank you for your funny comment!:)

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      PS...Just saw the joke...hahahahahaha

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      Hi Sunshine,

      I do so love my chickens! lol but I dont think I will eat them anytime soon..I made the mistake of nameing them...haha

      This was a fun hub for chicken lovers...the ones who eat them I am sure went away hungry and wanting chicken...for those of us who have them for pets, yell. 'RUN FOR YOUR LIVES PEEPS!" hahaha

      I will recite this chicken prayer every morning to them. I loved it!

      "May your offspring always be bountiful and never be a rotten egg. May the buzzards never circle around your gizzards! May your chicken feed always be plentiful and your coops always be comfortable. May you never get stuck in the muck as you cluck. Long live the chicken and the egg!"

      Sunnie

    • cebutouristspot profile image

      cebutouristspot 5 years ago from Cebu

      That adult joke was awesome :D thanks for sharing. Wow 100% poll I bet everybody really love chicken :D

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      You know a lot about these things. Which do you think came first, the chicken or the egg?

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Susan, Isn't he a beautiful chicken. I felt bad for ruffling his feathers but I was enjoying our conversation. He wasn't. Haha! Thank you for visiting my chicken friend:))

    • sholland10 profile image

      Susan Holland 5 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      I think I am in love with that chicken in your picture... Your letter "drummed" up all these feelings. I could never live without my chicken. Gotta have it!

      Voted up and across! Once again another spectacular hub!!

      Thanks for SHARING!!

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      @Ida...Yay for the chicken and the egg!! xo

      @Audrey! You keep enjoying the offspring of the chicken:)

      @Debbie, Thank you for stopping by and adding your shout-out to the chicken and the egg:))

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Sunshine this is so delightful...like you I love my chicken...and I love eggs any way I can get them....great hub dear friend...debbie

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Love eggs!! But not a meat eater---amusing hub!

    • blessing980306 profile image

      blessing980306 5 years ago

      I am chicken lover my self!This blog is a funny one who thinks about writing about chicken and does it so well?Sunshine ;)Great job!:)

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hi aloc! I won't send him my letter until after he's devoured.

      Hi swet! Yay! I'm glad you had a good laugh today from the chicken and the egg. They truly are delish!

      Woot Dex! I wonder if Leroy would like a letter also?:)

      Effer! Will you visit me when I'm locked up? Or will you just wait for me to get a week-end pass? Oh my. 30/30 has taken it's toll. Thank YOU for YOUR hysterical comment, I think you might be in the padded room next to me! Hahaha! XO

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Linda Sue...How many times have I told you that "you crack me up!?" According to my diagnosis, it is possible that 30/30 hubs (this one being #25!) is beginning to take it's toll on you. I once knew a man who wrote letters to all sorts of animals. Nice guy, but he only gets out on a week-end pass, WITH supervision. Looks like you may be making his acquaintance any day now. You 2 will get along fine. Since he also likes to crow like a Rooster at 5:00 a.m., you may even fall in love with him. This hub is EGGcellent....and the yolk's on you, GF!! What a woman!! LMAO

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image

      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Sunshine! Well, my Friday is off to a great start! Voted up, up and away! Leroy likes it as well!

    • Swetankraj profile image

      Swetank Raj 5 years ago from India

      Haha.. Very funny and interesting. Seriously i cant stop laughing after reading. I like the way how you politely lettered a chicken that its your favourite meal. What would he reply after reading.....just guessing..what will be his reaction after reading this letter it it is being posted to a chicken.

      Feels like watching a cartoon and imagining what will he do after he got the letter!

      Very happy after reading it!

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Great way to start the day, though I'm not sure a chicken would like to be reminded that it's dinner. Voting this Up and Funny.

    • Sunshine625 profile image
      Author

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Happy Friday Alecia! Chickens and eggs rule!:)

      Hi Tammy! Chicken Nuggets are delish!!

      Thank for your comments!

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      This hub is all it is cracked up to be. Very interesting and well done. I will have nuggets in your honor.

    • Alecia Murphy profile image

      Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      This is a great way to start a Friday. I consider myself a chicken supporter as well :).