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My Life - Redemption
I was saved at a young age but strayed away in the world's cage.
Church was where I was raised but I was spiritually lying in the grave.
I was rebellious towards my parents but my parents always prayed.
They were praying for my life but I continue to disobey.
I was addicted to porn even while being saved.
Chilling in my backyard and getting blazed.
Hustling stolen items trying to get paid.
And skipping church just to get laid.
I was engage to lust so sexual sins was my crave.
Sexing with no protection, it's by God's grace I ain't got AIDS.
But the consequences came I started going out of my mind.
Because I had two women pregnant all at the same time.
My woman having twins, the other don't know if it's mines.
I tried ignoring the problem but both kept ringing up my line.
I was a dog and I knew the truth.
The other women I lead on gave me Hell but still wouldn't give me the boot.
Like a roller coaster my mind running in loops.
Financially unstable, unable to regroup.
Don't know whether to blow my brain or jump off the roof.
Stressing and falling into depression I was gulping down goose (vodka).
Praying to God don't wake me from my sleep.
Tossing and turning because I have no peace.
Then my woman called me and said, "All my life I wanted marriage.
All my life I wanted kids but I had a miscarriage.
Why did you cheated?
I loved you with all my heart and this is how I'm treated!!"
She was sad and heated.
Because I became the dudes in her past that gave her the same treatment.
Me and her went our separate ways.
Still in my sinful ways.
Filled with regrets so I stilled drank and still blaze.
I was isolated from family and friends.
Another woman emailed my son picture and I never heard from her again.
Don't know if the baby is actually mine.
No hints or signs,
So I have to live with this unsolved mystery in my mind.
I grabbed the loaded nine and put the nine to my head.
I started clicking the trigger multiple times but I wasn't dead.
Then God said, "The only reason why death leaving you,
Because someone at this very moment interceding for you.
It's not about you so stop thinking about yourself,
Because the life that you lived you live for somebody else.
You are my servant who was lead by the serpent but you're born with a purpose,
And your words will be heard in the streets, churches, even behind closed curtains.
With the gun still in my hand I said, "Lord! Look at my life!! Do you understand my story??"
Then God said, "Yes son. But I'll take the foolish things in your life and use it for my glory."
With the gun still in my head I said, "Lord! Every time I pray you ain't never there!!"
Then God said, "I was there before you was born.
I was there when your knees was torn.
I was there in your room when you was laid out and drunk.
I was there on your roof when you was ready to jump.
I was there when you was high.
I was there when you cried because your friend died.
I was there when you got arrested and couldn't look your parents in their eyes.
I was there on the corner when those dudes was ready to pop ya (shoot you),
But no weapons formed against you shall be able to prosper.
I know all your turmoils.
Even when your mom came in your room and anointed your head with oil.
Crying out, "Save my son from his wicked path// Send your laborers to cross his path!!"
And while you was in a deep sleep,
Your mom held you in her arms and said, "You are the head and not the tail, You are above only and not beneath!
You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.
I came that you might have life and have life more abundantly".
Then suddenly I dropped the gun in front of me, And on the ground, words written in blood wrote 'Jesus Christ Died For Me!'
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