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My Review of Life Code by Dr. Phil McGraw
I have to admit that I am a Dr. Phil fan. His candid honesty and tell it like it is style is refreshing in our politically correct society. He isn't afraid to call a duck a duck and the fact that his guests can disagree about a subject without without screaming and throwing chairs at one another sets The Dr. Phil Show apart from other talk shows. For months he has been talking about his new book Life Code and how it's a must read for everyone. The basic premise is that we don't live in the same world that our parents did so many of the things they taught us are obsolete. He challenges old mindsets and identifies the attributes of people we need to steer clear of. The books has two parts; the first section is dedicated to identifying the nefarious characters that you need to avoid and the second section gives you a blueprint for living the most successful life possible in today's technological world.
Part 1: The Real World Bad Guys
Did you know there are people out there who will try to take away everything you have including your money, career, and family? Well there are and the quicker you identify them the better off you will be. Dr. Phil tells you the attributes of these evil opportunists, where they are, and how they operate. He also gives you insight into why YOU allow them to prey on you as well as how to get away and stay away from them.
Dr. Phil recently had guests on his show who had been catfished. In other words they were in online dating relationships with people they had never met face to face. These women and men were spending time, money, and emotions on fictitious characters who never intended anything more than victimizing them. One guest sent her online overseas boyfriend over $175,000, most of which she didn't have, in the hopes that he would come to America and they would live happily ever after. As outrageous as it sounds she truly believed that he was real even though Dr. Phil proved without a reasonable doubt that she had been "dating" a known scammer who was corresponding with her from Africa.
This BAITER, as he called him, possessed specific attributes that enabled him to weasel his way this woman's life. He referred to these specific identifiers as the Evil Eight: arrogance, lack of empathy, inability to feel remorse or guilt, thriving on drama, being reckless, bragging about outsmarting people, having a pattern of short term relationships. and living in a fantasy world. He was able to show her that her phony romeo possessed most if not all of the characteristics. By the end of the show she seemed to be thinking clearer than she had been at the beginning of the show.
This woman's story provides a clear example of a BAITER who spends his life prowling the internet trying to take away money from vulnerable men and women. But Baiters don't operate solely on the internet. They are your neighbors, co-workers, friends and even family members who want what you have. It's important that you know how to spot them in order to protect yourself from them.
Part 2: The New Life Code
Now that you know who these BAITERS are what can you do to protect yourself from them and live the most successful life possible? Part two of the book gives you the steps you need to follow in order to live a fruitful prosperous existence. It teaches you that it is your responsibility to be your own biggest advocate and only you can make yourself a winner. He defines the attributes a successful person possess and calls them his Sweet 16. His Sweet 16 includes: defining an image, playing big, having a plan, dealing only with the truth, and picking your battles.
Defining an image is simply the way you portray yourself in public all the time. Dr. Phil uses his own life as an example by telling readers that his image makes a statement and love him or hate him when you hear his name you know who he is and where he stands. He suggests you do the same for yourself and advises you to never deviate from it when you are in public or online. Nothing is worse than portraying yourself one way and acting and other.
He also advocates creating goals and doing whatever it takes to makes those goals a reality. He provides you with seven key strategies that will help you create an action plan and attain your goals. He encourages you to go BIG, take chances, and not avoid drawing positive attention to yourself. He gives you the message that if you want to be successful you need to be success centered and do everything in your power to attain it.
The 14th play in Dr. Phil's Sweet 16 playbook states that winners only deal with the truth no matter what. In a perfect world people treat one another with dignity and respect yet in reality people look out for themselves and don't care how their actions effect others. If they have to sabotage you to get ahead they will and most of the time not think twice about it. In your personal life if the truth about yourself and your relationship is less than positive it's up to you to change it. If you have a problem don't pretend it doesn't exist fix it and if you are looking at the world through rose colored glasses take them off and get real no matter how uncomfortable it makes you or those around you.
Although conflict is not a pleasant thing sometimes it is necessary. Dr. Phil advises you to pick your battles carefully but once you have chosen to battle you must do everything in your power to win. He advises you to keep a poker face and not show your cards to a potential opponent while at the same time getting to know everything you can about him or her. Know your opponents triggers and use them to your advantage. And never ever back down or admit that you are wrong-even if you are. Admitting you are wrong gives your opponent power over you that they will use for years to come.
I believe that one of the most important things that Dr. Phil writes in this book has to do with the reason people allow others to mistreat them: For most people their biggest fear is rejection while their biggest need is acceptance. His statement is so simple but makes so much sense. Unfortunately, if you don't accept yourself as you are, acknowlege your strengths and weaknesses, and deal with only the truth in your life you can't expect others to. The only person you can control in your life is you so fix yourself first before expecting others to treat you appropriately.
I also think that his advice on picking your battles is spot on. I even used his battle plan myself today while dealing with my attorney. You know what? I feel great about how I handled myself even if my attorney isn't. A week ago I would have let him steamroll me-not after reading this book. Dr. Phil taught me that I am my greatest advocate and if I won't fight for myself who will? Now my attorney knows exactly where I stand and he can either make things happen the way I want them to-or not. I can't control what he does and no matter how this situation turns out, I feel great for standing up for myself!
I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone. Even if you think you aren't vunerable to BAITERS it never hurts to have the information on how to spot and deal with them. Eventually at some time in your life you are going to experience conflict and knowing Dr. Phil's battle plan will come in handy, trust me. The information in the book is important, accurate, and relavent in the world we live in so why not arm yourself with the knowledge it contains? It can't hurtcha!!