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My Top Ten Freaky Movies
Warning: Reviews/Summaries May Contain Plot Spoilers!
I have weird tastes in movies. I generally like a blend of gore, humor, surrealism, fantasy, and criticisms of our world which come from another. Some of these are less "freaky" than others, being more comedic, while some are more grotesque. I don't like movies that just make me laugh or cry, as much as I enjoy movies that both entertain me and make me think. I also like to freak the hell out. So, here's a Top Ten Countdown List of my favorite movies! :)
10. The Nightmare Before Christmas
Okay, so I'm a fan of Tim Burton in general. But, I didn't want to make this a Tim Burton only list, even though I could have. I like this movie, because, let's face it, Christmas and Halloween are the two best holidays. I simply tend to have more fun on those two days than all the other holidays combined. Combining both of them in one weird, crazy, thrill ride of a movie? Awesome.
9. South Park's Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
How can you go wrong here? The title of the movie is a penis joke. The movie shows the United States going to war with Canada over whether we should have dirty words in movies. Kenny lights a fart on fire and kills himself because of a movie. It's brilliant satire. Okay, it makes the show's main mistake, tending to throw these 8-year old boys into unrealistic situations just to prove a point about some concept a real 8-year old boy would have no clue on. And, speaking of putting little boys in the middle of grisly war scenes and crazy situations...
8. Fullmetal Alchemist The Movie: Conqueror of Shamballa
Ok, who here is sick of movies/books with Nazi Germany motifs aimed at impressionable children?
Other than that, the film was anime at its best, with excellent, captivating storytelling and amazing visuals. Because of the travel between worlds, the plot is kind of like Swiss cheese, but the settings are interesting and the work is imaginative to say the least. And, even though it is about Nazi Germany, it isn't much gorier than any regular episode of FMA. The movie didn't focus on a "nazis were BAD! :O" type of message, instead they did something mature and made the film about a whole lot more than that. I was a little clueless about the ending, or what the film was really trying to say... but one last thing:
I liked Envy as a dragon. I like dragons. Lol.
7. Little Nicky
It's funny how both this and the South Park movie depicted Satan as a nice guy. In this movie, Adam Sandler is playing something unusual for him, so I like that. He plays Nicky, the youngest son of the Devil. He has two older brothers who pick on him, and when daddy, Satan, says that none of his sons are ready to become the next ruler of Hell, the brothers go to Earth to create their own Hell. This causes the gates of Hell to freeze, and so no new souls can get in. This causes the Devil to deteriorate. It soon becomes clear that it is up to Nicky to go to Earth, imprison his brothers in a flask, and bring them back to Hell in order to save his father.
It's such an imaginative concept that it sounds like it could just as easily have been an anime movie, which might be what I like about it. It's also, ultimately, about rooting for the underdog. By Earth they mean New York City, which seems like a good place for a battle between the spawn of Lucifer to restore the balance of good and evil. I like the side-kick characters Nicky meets in the city, his prissy actor roommate, the two rocker punk guys who follow him because they're into evil, his talking dog Mr. Beefy, and of course, his girlfriend Valerie.
Reese Witherspoon plays his mom, an angel, who shows him that he possesses the power of good. When he learns to use good, he can defeat his brothers. Also, SPOILER ALERT! but the final brother, Adrian, is defeated when Nicky releases a magical orb that makes Ozzy Osbourne pop out, bite the head off the brother just when he thinks he's about to fly to the throne and become the new Satan in the form of a bat, and spits his head, and thus, his soul, into the flask. The flask is then shoved up Hitler's ass in hell for all of eternity. How's that for an ending?
6. Evangelion the Movie : End of Evangelion
Um, well, then there's this ending. It's full of everything you love about Evangelion: the wtf moments, the dream-like sequences and flows of consciousness and what you'd expect from all the characters, Asuka's awesomeness at fighting and resolve never to give up, Shinji's wimpiness, Misato's sexiness, Rei's quiet strength, etc. However, I think it's safe to say that even non-fans of the show can appreciate this brilliant piece of art on its own. I mean, yeah, this is an ending to the series (supposedly, but it seems more like a trippy nightmare about how the show COULD end then the actual ending), but if you've never even seen the show, it's possible to enjoy this movie's obvious artistic and philosophical value.
My favorite funny line, said by a dying Misato in a puddle of her own blood, face down on the floor: "If I had known it would end like this, I would have... changed the curtains like Asuka suggested..."
Okay, so I didn't want to make this all about Tim Burton movies. However, I found this one special, especially since every child at one time or another wishes their parents were nicer, more interesting, or more caring about her feelings. This had the kind of dark cautionary morality of a Grimm fairy tale, which I enjoyed about it. I also liked the cat. (I like talking cats for some reason.) I heard that the friend/neighbor kid was not in the book, and I think he's a bit unnecessary as a character. Overall, the movie is stunning, and it's the kind of story one kid would tell another kid to scare her, so I enjoyed that spooky campfire story feeling I felt as I was watching it. I also like Coraline as a character. She's unique, smart, daring, and doesn't play by the rules. Plus, this movie's overall trippy-ness is spectacular.
Ok, SPOILER ALERT! When the "other mother" transforms into a spidery monster called the Beldam towards the end, she looks like Michael Jackson in the face, which I found hilarious. Because, she's a monster who lures kids into an alternate dimension that resembles a huge mansion, then imprisons their souls with her forever.
Oh, but wait, we're supposed to be nice to the creepy pedophile of Hollywood, now that he kicked the bucket. But I say good riddance.
4. Serial Mom
Okay, growing up in a small Midwestern town and the world of recycling and Martha Stewart and church bake sales and PTA meetings, this movie kind of got to me. It's about, as the title would suggest, a nice, normal, cheery housewife with two teenage children, who goes on a psychopathic rampage and kills everyone who she perceives as a threat to said children, in a very protective, maternal way. She also kills her neighbor and friend for many years over her not recycling. It's funny how this lady can go from church nice and normal and proper and good and clean to, well, Serial Mom, and back in a heartbeat.
I also think it was funny how she condemned her son, who worked in a video store, for watching slasher movies all day with his friends, but it was really her own guilty pleasure to do the same at night or when no one was around... This a thoroughly twisted movie with delightful satire.
What can be better than a movie based on a Stephen King novel? Well, actually, these seem to be a kind of hit or miss. But Misery is a definite hit, perfectly, in my opinion, capturing Stephen King's suspense, thrills, and dark, creepy storyline. This movie will give you shivers thinking about it long after you've seen it, like the movie Psycho, and it's also an excellently horrifying twist on the romantic "being taken care of when hurt by a stranger of the opposite sex" fantasy. Also, the lead actress, Kathy Bates, delivers a phenomenal performance as the monstrous psychopath who keeps an injured man in a helpless position just so her favorite novel will be written the way she wants it to be.
2. Spirited Away
Okay, I could also do a top ten list of all Miyazaki movies, from Ponyo to Kiki's Delivery Service.
I'm a big fan of his work. However, after watching many other Miyazaki films, I can say with confidence that Spirited Away is possibly his best. I recommend this movie to anyone who says they don't like anime, because I think everyone can enjoy this movie and that it has few of the things that people have criticized anime for; such as, the portrayal of women as sex objects, the gaping plot holes, and gratuitous violence. This film has none of that, and so is enjoyable to a much broader audience than anime movies typically are. Visually, this film is nothing short of magical. As a story, it is endearing and richly entertaining.
1. Pink Floyd - The Wall
Okay, so maybe my addiction to all things Floydian had something to do with my choice of this movie for number 1. Maybe it's also that I feel this rock opera is underrated and unappreciated by the mainstream movie-buff community.
I like the animation sequences in the film, how dark and powerful the animated images are. The movie used innovative techniques in storytelling, which I admired.
One time, I told a guy in a music store that me and my step-dad had argued over who the best rock band ever was, I said Pink Floyd and he said Led Zeppelin. The music guy gave a very wise answer, which was, Led Zeppelin is great if you want to rock out, but Pink Floyd was good for when you want to freak out. (Though I agreed with him on Pink Floyd, there are a lot of other bands I prefer for rocking out, like AC/DC.) And if you like watching movies that will freak you out, you have to see this movie.
The themes this movie touches on are interesting, and it's emotional portrayal of and message about things like war, nazis, hatred, sex, death, love, marriage, parenthood, school, and fear make this an amazing human drama.
"All alone or in twos, the ones who really love you walk up and down outside the wall. Some hand in hand, some gathered together in bands, the bleeding hearts and the artistes make their stand. And when they've given you their all, some stagger and fall, after all, it's not easy, banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall."