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Mystical Bottle

Updated on August 22, 2016

Just about everyone has heard about the ancient legend of rubbing a Genie's magic bottle, and receiving three wishes in return. That's of coarse if it's a nice Genie. But what I heard over the radio this morning, on my long drive to work about a brand new magical bottle, made me stop in the middle of the road and shake my head. When I say shake my head, I mean in a way which you the reader might just understand after reading this hub.

It appears that a small group of brilliant minds at M.I.T. (Massachusetts institute of technology), just solved one of man kinds biggest age old problems with their own version of a magical bottle. It took an entire truckload of man hours, and even more money to solve this problem. When you first started reading this you may have thought that these folks came up with some sort of cure for all of humanity after they went through all of this trouble, time, and money. However if that's what you thought, you couldn't be any farther from the truth if you tried.

What these top notch people came up with, and discovered was an easier way to get some tomato ketchup out of the bottle. Yes that's right another way to get ketchup out of a bottle. Like we already didn't have enough ways to get that sometimes stubborn tomato paste out, and onto our hot dog bun.

I'm not sure what was wrong with any the the numerous ways that we already had for this task. There's the Popular way of repeatedly pounding on the bottom of the bottle with your fist or the palm of your hand. There's the technique of quickly rotating the ketchup bottle in an arm's length circular motion. There's the way which can easily backfire of hitting the bottle itself against the edge of a table. This method sometimes doesn't work out well with glass bottles, and then there's the way of using finesse by slipping a butter knife up the neck of the ketchup bottle to break the suction loose.

Heinz 57 even has a specific way to get that hard to get ketchup out of their own bottles, and onto your hamburger patty. The ketchup maker says that they have specially designed their bottles, where you just gently tap the number 57 on the bottles neck, and the ketchup magically rolls out of the bottle and onto your onion rings. Now I've never tried this method, but it certainly sounds very interesting. If none of these suggestions will work or are good enough for you, then you can always carry around a pocket full of those little plastic ketchup packets that are available for "FREE" at just about any fast food restaurant. This way you will always has an easy opening supply on hand for those salty french fries.

But all of this wasn't enough, so somebody at M.I.T. decided that there was some extra money laying around as well as time to waste on a project like this. So after an enormous amount of money was spent, they developed a specially designed coating and lining for the inside of ketchup bottles, which will deliver that ketchup faster into your hot bowl of chicken noodle soup. Time and money well spent in somebody's eyes, but by no means in everybody's eyes.

I'm really not knocking or making fun of this idea and technological advancement for all of mankind, because I realize it surely must have been very important and that someone certainly had to stand up to the plate and do it. Now that they are all done with this project, who knows what's down the road and in store next. Maybe they can pull all of their resources together again and come up with some advanced technology that will stop your ice cream from melting and dripping down the side of your ice cream cone before you can finish eating it.

All you have to do is just gently tap on the #57
All you have to do is just gently tap on the #57
Of course now a days all you have to do to get some Heinz ketchup is tear and peel.
Of course now a days all you have to do to get some Heinz ketchup is tear and peel.


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    • profile image

      Jeff 3 years ago

      *M.I.T. (Massachusetts Institute of Technology)

    • Besarien profile image

      Besarien 3 years ago

      Very cute hub. Their parents must be so proud! I hope that "special coating" doesn't kill anybody.

    • Carol Houle profile image

      Carol Houle 3 years ago from Montreal

      I had the same mind numbing reaction when I heard of "The 'Shroom," a device embedded in the Ketchup cap shaped like an upside-down mushroom that 2 high school kids from Kansas "invented". Works somewhat like a toilet, and prevents the water from dripping out onto your burger. Apparently shaking the bottle before using it is very annoying :~)

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 3 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      How about just using a squeeze plastic bottle?

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 3 years ago from West By God

      LOL Funny and voted it as such and voted it up.

    • RoadMonkey profile image

      RoadMonkey 3 years ago

      Yes, stopping the icecream melting would be MUCH more useful to me! Great Hub

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

      Really interesting, Holestory!

    • wordswithlove profile image

      Neetu M 3 years ago from USA

      Doesn't it also make you wonder, HoleStory, that these folks couldn't come up with better use of their time? So much idleness going around that all they can apply themselves to is squeezing ketchup bottles! All that money spent on education!

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 3 years ago

      That was interesting, and funny in a way. I just heat up water until it is warm - not hot, turn it off, and put the bottle in while I put the burger together. Then I turn the bottle partly on its side (over the burger) and it runs out. I voted up, shared and pinned it.


    • rebelogilbert profile image

      Gilbert Arevalo 3 years ago from Hacienda Heights, California

      A magic Heinz 57 bottle would be nice to have TheHoleStory, but not as desirable as a genie in the bottle. How is Heinz going to grant you three wishes?

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 3 years ago from Jamaica

      These so called scientific minds just want to be heard, i have developed my own way of getting ketchup out the bottle and i am far from being MIT genius, shake shake shake, knock knock knock, pour in a little water and voila....ketchup comes running down! Good post, made me laugh

    • goatfury profile image

      Andrew Smith 3 years ago from Richmond, VA

      Well... there are two ways to look at it. One is to be frustrated by how our resources are allocated: better ketchup bottles, longer lasting erections, and tastier underwear. Our great scientific minds are hard at work on fluff.

      The other way is to recognize that, even from frivolous discoveries like this, there is actually a great deal of scientific innovation that will inevitably spill over into other fields.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      It's these little scientific advances that make civilization possible.

    • profile image

      peg2 3 years ago

      good hub, now instead of getting frustrated when I can not get the ketchup out of the bottle, I will know what to do.

    • norma-holt profile image

      norma-holt 3 years ago

      Good to know research is hot in Massachusetts. Good read

    • Sandra Eastman profile image

      Sandra Joy Eastman 3 years ago from Robbinsdale MN

      Cute pub. Enjoyed the read but sure hope somebody doesn't get a cup of ketchup all over their burger.