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Nancy Grace Shows Concern for Non-White Victim; Viewers Outraged

Updated on February 8, 2014
Confusion overtook the nation Wednesday when Nancy Grace brought national attention to a missing black girl
Confusion overtook the nation Wednesday when Nancy Grace brought national attention to a missing black girl | Source

Nancy's Slip-Up

Confusion overtook the nation Wednesday when blonde, bullhorned-mouth HLN talk show host Nancy Grace brought national attention to a missing black girl.

The African American young woman was on air for almost forty seconds, until a "technical difficulty" graphic appeared.

The show was flooded with emails, posts, and calls questioning if what they saw was real. The image was of recent college graduate Heidi Douglas. Her microbus had been reported missing three days earlier, and her name was turned over to the local police. Somehow, her white-sounding name slipped by the censors working for HLN and Nancy Grace.

Douglas' story was being read until the image appeared on the screen, at which point viewers saw Grace shoot what's described as a dirty look at her producers. She then sat silently until the image was taken down.

She then sat silently until the image was taken down
She then sat silently until the image was taken down | Source
Viewers saw Grace shoot what's described as a dirty look at her producers
Viewers saw Grace shoot what's described as a dirty look at her producers | Source

Fans Very Confused

Grace, a former prosecutor and professional blowhard, has made a career of non-stop focus on the disappearance of blonde-haired, blued eyed, young white girls, but never anyone of color.

"Well, I just couldn't believe it," said longtime HLN viewer Brian Hagen. "I was certain that my idiot wife had changed the color settings on my TV, but that wasn't the case! Nancy was definitely talking about a missing black girl. At first I thought, "Well, maybe this girl is Hispanic and Nancy thought it was just a rich, white blonde girl with a tanning obsession--but now it's clear this girl was black!"

The Internet blew up with comments of confusion after the image aired. Thousands of tweets and posts questioned what they just observed. "I was shocked!" said stay-at-home mom, and avid HLN viewer Mandy Parsons. "In all my living years of watching my idol Nancy, never did I think something like this could happen. First Justin Bieber gets arrested, and now this; what’s left in this world to believe in?" Parsons asked, bursting into tears.

HLN immediately issued a statement, apologizing for the incident: "HLN wishes to apologize for this edition of the 'Nancy Grace' show. While we stand by the decisions of our host, we are aware of the affects this broadcast had on the viewing public. Ms.Grace is currently undergoing exhaustion treatment at a rehabilitation clinic, with experts citing that ailment as the reason behind the lapse in judgment."

The trend of comparing Ms. Grace to anything someone loves might now be in jeopardy
The trend of comparing Ms. Grace to anything someone loves might now be in jeopardy | Source

Nancy Grace Jokes Ruined

Media insiders say the impact will be short-term for Grace, who is expected to return by mid-Spring, focusing several special editions of her nightly program on the plight of the put-upon white, blonde woman in America.

The trend of comparing Ms. Grace to anything someone loves might now be in jeopardy. Saying things like, “I love this sandwich as much as Nancy Grace loves a missing white girl” or “I’m going to be all over this buffet like Nancy Grace is all over a missing white girl on spring break” might not work anymore. This event has seriously damaged the credibility of such jokes.

Missing woman Heidi Douglas
Missing woman Heidi Douglas | Source
And don’t let me even get started about the bathrooms
And don’t let me even get started about the bathrooms | Source

Alert: Missing White Girl

Missing Woman Speaks

With ten minutes of research, this reporter was able to locate Heidi Douglas through her Pinterest account. She said, “I don’t understand what the big deal was. My van I live in busted down and I got a ride to a nearby food commune. It’s pretty bad here, and I don’t think a lot of these people know what deodorant is. I’ve looked around the compound for days and still havn’t found a damn shower yet. When I asked them about it, they just pointed to a cold-ass creek. And don’t let me even get started about the bathrooms if you can even call them that. They actually collect and recycle their poop from the outhouses and use it as fertilizer; do you have any idea how nasty that is? It is so third-world out here.”

When I asked her to focus and tell me what she thought about the incident, she stated, “I guess my name sounded white and it confused everyone. Plus I drive a white hippy vehicle, so I guess they just assumed. I was just as shocked as everyone else that Nancy Grace was talking about my story on TV. I mean look at me, clearly I’m black. I never thought I would live long enough to see Nancy covering a sista, so damn sad. This used to be a good country where the racist media knew its place.”

Heidi Douglas went on to say, “I have no idea how that happened. I never thought I'd see a day when Nancy Grace would step out of her world view and admit that something exists outside of white America. I guess HLN is calling it a mistake. I suppose that should come as no surprise.”

The Best Missing Girl Video Ever

Source

This Article is Satire

If you have not figured it out yet, this article is satire; Nancy, please don’t sue me.

Source

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      Guruprasad 2 years ago

      I think it is a great idea. There is a website that you can ask for doantions to help set up this project. People can give in increments of whatever you set up and you can put a goal that you need for people to give. I forgot the name of the website, but I'm sure you can google it. You could make some calls to nursing homes/hospitals and see what they think of the idea and just start small, make the deliveries to a few people yourself, make a business card and hand it out to the front desk if anyone else would be interested in donating an aquarium to someone at the hospital or nursing home. Keep us updated!

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      Robert 2 years ago

      Amberr MeadowsMary, I'm not sure either, but I am still in the tknnhiig stages. Great post! I think it's a great idea I grew up with aquariums and if it weren't for having determined felines I would probably still have one. They are a great idea, the only downside is keeping them clean but they are easy enough to maintain. I love the fact you look for ways to improve the lives of others! You truly are an inspiration! Amberr MeadowsThank you, Belinda, I just hope to be more helpful. Not a stupid idea at all, Many nursing homes do a have aquariums or aviaries in the common areas. The only problem i see is in the hospital setting where possible mold growth and bacteria could be an issue. Aquariums are terribly messy and even with a well kept up tank there is the possibility for contamination. In nursing homes we had several Betta fish jars with the plant in the top. Amberr MeadowsStacey, I wonder if the betta jars are less maintenance? I'm looking at all potential options that would be least stress on the recipient. bill sackettI think it's a great idea. Anything we can do to help people in general is worth doing. Amberr MeadowsBill, thank you. I'm hoping to find a way that will work. I ap1ff8preciate the comment! SueWhat an absolutely lovely idea Amber. Am the incoming president for my Rotary club in July and have been trying to think of something different for my fund raising efforts. I have never liked the usual', preferring something slightly off the wall. I rely entirely on fate which has never let me down. Came to your blog yesterday by chance. Obviously meant to be. Am going to investigate your idea. Promise I will credit you however. Amberr MeadowsSue, that would be wonderful. Be sure to let me know what you find out, too, as I am still in the preliminary tknnhiig stage. I think it is a great idea. There is a website that you can ask for donations to help set up this project. People can give in increments of whatever you set up and you can put a goal that you need for people to give. I forgot the name of the website, but I'm sure you can google it. You could make some calls to nursing homes/hospitals and see what they think of the idea and just start small, make the deliveries to a few people yourself, make a business card and hand it out to the front desk if anyone else would be interested in donating an aquarium to someone at the hospital or nursing home. Keep us updated! Amberr MeadowsAg, absolutely going to need to start small. I think testing the waters first would be wise. Thank you for the great comment! That's so not stupid, it's actually borderline marvelous. While I'm no specialist regarding the therapeutical value of aquariums, I know that I've never seen angry, edgy people in front of an aquarium.GO FOR IT!! Amberr MeadowsThanks, Tony, if there is an interest I'm going for it!

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      Daniel Petreikis 3 years ago from Chicago, IL

      I agree - very Onion-esque parody. Would not surprise me if the called Tarrin and offered him a job.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      You definitely need to write for The Onion.

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      Hadria 3 years ago

      My face hurts from laughing so much!

    • EclecticHoosier profile image

      Daniel Petreikis 3 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Another one out of the park. Well done, TarrinLupo!