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Never Mind the Bullocks, Prince William Offers Knighthood to John Lydon

Updated on April 1, 2015

In a gesture of conciliation akin to Britain giving back Hong Kong to China, Prince William has offered the title of British knighthood to John Lydon. John Lydon, formerly known as Johnny Rotten and front man for the Sex Pistols, is well known for his antipathy toward the British royals. So grand is his dislike of the institution of Royalty that he and his band recorded the song “God Save the Queen” in 1977 as an irreverent take down of the Queen Mother.

“Mr. Lydon is a British icon, and it is high time we brought him back into the fold,” declared Prince William. “Besides, that song was a long time ago, and he has gone on to do much more for the nation, like promote British butter.

Traditionally, the head of the Royal Family would only bestow honours on military leaders. However, non-military figures have been knighted for some time now, and other members of the Royal Family can bestow these honours on the Queen’s behalf. The Queen admits that she doesn’t know who this “Lydon lad” is exactly, but “if William likes him and he sells British butter, he must be worthy.” Besides, “I am very much fond of that Mr. Jagger, who is also a singer” and whom was knighted in 2002.

Lydon, upon hearing the news laughed and said, “If I told the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to piss off, what does the Queeny expect? She certainly has gone senile.”

From the Poxy News Service Wire
Shanky Jones Reporting

Tex Shelters


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