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New Year Workout: Pumping House

Updated on May 8, 2011

Try as I might to separate myself from the masses, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that at the start of each year I didn’t tell myself little pink lies (I’m gay so they have to be pink and not white, right?) that I hope I’ll keep but in my heart of hearts I know that most likely by February they’ll be a thing of the past and just put on the pile in next year’s mental hope chest. One of the ways that I tried to preempt that this year was by once again restarting at the gym. But I restarted in December. I mean after all, if you start something in December it’s no longer a New Year’s resolution and in my own mind anyway, has less of a chance for failure because it doesn’t have the whole resolution part tied to it. (Is it any wonder I’m constantly exhausted with all the bargaining with myself that goes on in my mind on a daily basis?) Well I have to say that it’s never fun when you “go back” to something (usually) I think of all the “going back” things I’ve done. I went back to live with my parents at one point after I had been living in LA on my own – “Hello, feelings of failure? Come right on in.” I went back to an ex once…once (big mistake). I went back to a job once when I said I wouldn’t. (It wasn’t like prostitution or anything but I definitely had the feeling I was being screwed and soon quit again). All this to say that sometimes when you go back to something, it helps to have some new spin to put on it and I got that with the New Year – Workout: Pumping House – Don’t Get Me Started!

Although my blog has not rewarded me with cash (please see the donate links on each page…only you can prevent a forest fire and only you can give a deserving gay who tries to make you laugh each day some much needed cash – long live PayPal) it has afforded me some interesting opportunities along the way and one of those is that sometimes a company or person (okay, usually “a gay”) will write to me to tell me about something that they think should be on my website or that I’m going to like. Sometimes it’s both good and bad all at the same time. There was the time that Paramount contacted me about being the website to premier the “One Night Only” video from the movie, Dreamgirls on my site. Fabulous, right? And no doubt they would be sending me tons of stuff from the movie due to the fact that I dedicated an entire page on my site to it that took over a week to design, right?  I got two posters that were autographed by Jennifer Hudson but where she signed you could only see the signature if you held it at a certain angle like when they check your twenty dollar bill to make sure that it isn’t counterfeit, six copies of the “Selections from Dreamgirls” CD (in other words, not the entire soundtrack) and something like 60 copies of the novelized version of the movie. (GoodWill I’m sure was very happy to receive them) But I think what I’ve enjoyed the most are the artists who have contacted me or that I’ve discovered along the way. because even a gay like me can only listen to so much Liza Minnelli. And so it would come to pass that a great opportunity came my way when I was granted an interview with none other than RuPaul when her movie, Starrbooty was being released on DVD. So when the RuPaul team contacted me to let me know that there was a new album coming out with her on it, I was more than willing to listen.

Now as most of you who read my blog know, I’m not one of those sites that make a fortune off of pimping products nor do I have some corporate sponsorship which makes me write the word, “Velveeta” every fourth sentence to make thirty cents for each time I mention it, nor do I enjoy or read the blogs that are like three sentences and then have product placement all over them. No, I write about things that annoy me or that I adore. (Try finding out you had your sex listed as female on your driver’s license for three years and the DMV not willing to change it to male until you brought in a birth certificate.) So although the song from the musical Oklahoma would lead some to believe otherwise, “I’m Just A Gay Who Can Say No!” – Not everything makes it on my site.

When I work out I have to admit that I usually listen to the old gay disco classics. And I suspect that there are plenty of other people who are treadmilling to “Shake Your Groove Thing” but with the invention of the headset they can tell everyone it’s the latest Britney and no one is the wiser. But with the New Year, I’ve given my Patti LaBelle’s “New Attitude” a rest because I downloaded the album Workout: Pumping House. Yes, it’s got everything my little gym bunnies! It has RuPaul’s “Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous” (which was featured on The Biggest Loser) but oh kids, it has so much more. Darrell Martin (recording artist, writer and producer for UPhonic Records) has compiled a collection of music that will get your heart rate up (well, first from the cover art) and keep it pumping through your entire workout. At the risk of sounding like a damn infomercial, when you buy the actual CDs at Best Buy, Virgin, Borders, etc. (not available when you download and buy it from like iTunes, Amazon, etc.) you get a free 7 day guest pass to Bally’s gyms. (But since the official membership card for gays is a gym membership card – download it and get thee to a gym immediately my gay caballeros!)

I’ve never been someone who has enjoyed the whole working out thing but I’ll do it knowing that I’ll never be gay thin or asked to be a dancer on a box in a club somewhere because I also can’t spend my life becoming the older gay man stereotype of a queen in a caftan. So if I’m going to work out (and I am…no really, I’m going to stick with it this time) and if I must do it, at least I can do it with RuPaul. And we all need a little RuPaul to help us believe that we truly can be “looking good, feeling gorgeous.” New Year – Workout: Pumping House – Don’t Get Me Started!


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