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Once Upon A Time -- The Birth Of Captain Hook

Updated on October 22, 2012

What really happened to Mrs. Rump

It seems Rump is all things to all people. To Belle he's her beast and to Captain Hook he's the crocodile that chopped off his hand, not that the creep didn't deserve it.

In this episode we meet Rump's wife, Milah, who was a barfly who preferred chugging ales with the boys opposed to staying home and being a mother to Bae. When Killean Jones swaggered into the bar with all his fine tales of all the fine places he'd been, she tossed up her skirts and couldn't wait to become his cabin mate on his ship. They had so much in common; like they could spend fun times putting make-up on each other. Seriously, the dude was wearing so much guy-liner it wasn't funny.

Unfortunately, Rump believed she'd been kidnapped and when he boarded Jones boat to get her back, Jones challenged Rump to a sword fight, which would have left Bae an orphan since the lightskirt had no intention of going back and taking care of her kid. When Jones started going on about what a coward Rump was like it was known both far and wide, we should have known the barfly had been whispering that crap in Guy-Liner Boy's ear. It probably went something like:

Milah: [applying make-up to Hook] Me usband's a coward. E's not a real man like you.

This all happened Pre-The Dark One. Post-The Dark One, Rump made a deal with Mr. Smee to get him a magic bean for making him a child, again. Smee wanted to never age, but Rump said no can do on that request. Rump also saw Jones, and he wanted revenge on Guy-Liner Boy. He was about to rip the punk's heart out of his chest when the barfly showed herself and revealed she never loved Rump and she knew he wanted a magic bean. For the bean, she wanted Rump to let her and her girlfriend, Guy-Liner Boy go and live and be happy. By the way, Barfly never once asked how her kid was doing.

Unfortunately for Barfly, she wasn't dealing with the Old Rump. Rump started getting angry for what she did to Bae and he decided to rip the floozy's heart out of her chest. Before Rump crushed it in his hand, she declared her love for Guy-Liner Boy one last time. Then Rump cut off Guy-Liner Boy's hand, that he thought contained the magic bean and away he vanished into a puff of smoke. Unfortunately, the punk had the bean in the other hand, as he vowed revenge and prepared to screw a hook into the stump where his hand used to be.

He and the Barfly had kidnapped Smee for his magic bean, and Hook offered him a position on his crew. Then he opened a portal in the sea with the magic bean, saying it would be taking them to Neverland.

In Storybrooke, Belle was bedeviled with nightmares of Rump turning back into his glittery old self. When she saw him doing magic in his basement and he wouldn't tell her what he was doing, she walked out on him. She ended up at Granny's Diner where she befriending Red. Not a good thing with her Prince Pompous butt-kissing. Red suggested that Belle re-open the library and run it. While she was trying to peek in the windows, Mr. Smee kidnapped her.

No, Captain Hook, didn't tell his toady to do it, turns out he was hired by Belle's father, Moe. Moe demanded Belle promise to spurn Rump, forever. When she wouldn't do it, he had Smee put her in a coal cart in the mines and send her on a wild ride towards the town line to wipe Rump from her mind.

Meanwhile, Rump lowered himself to ask the new sheriff in town, Prince Pompous, to help him find Belle. He didn't want to do it, but eventually relented. They went to Red who also didn't want to help because Rump has done just so much to her...crickets...that's right, he hasn't done anything to her. But he's done so much to her beloved Snow Ho and Prince Pompous...crickets...that's right, he's helped them. They're actually the ones who did something to him; they imprisoned him after he helped them get together. And Red was the one who brought her buddy Snow to Rump after Snow used the fact Red ate her boyfriend to force her to take her to Rump. Yet, Rump is evil and she'd die for Snow and Pompous. This is why the character has become a bad joke and the less airtime she gets the better.

Anyway, they track down Belle just as Smee has sent her off on her wild ride through the mines. Rump uses his magic to bring Belle back. Unfortunately, she doesn't want anything to do with either Rump or Moe. Sorry, Moe, guess she doesn't think kidnapping her and trying to wipe her memory away are things that will earn you a Father of the Year award.

Rump sends Belle the keys to the library and before he says goodbye to her he tells her he's been a coward all his life and doesn't know how to walk without magic to help him. He also tells her that he's trying to break the new curse so he can go and find Bae. This seems to change Belle's mind about writing-off Rump for good, as she suggests they could possibly share a hamburger sometime as he walks towards the door.

Meanwhile, in Modern Day Fairy Tale Land, Cora is meeting with Hook. She shows him the vial of wardrobe ashes, and says it's not enough to get them to Storybrooke, but is certain she'll be able to get more so they can go over there and get their revenge on Regina and Rump. Guess what, Guy-Liner Boy, he's looking for you, too. Mmy money is on Rump and Regina over you and the old hag. Maybe this time Rump can cut your head off so you can be reunited with your beloved barfly.

I've suspected that the magic bean Bae had opened up a portal to Wonderland. However, the Blue Meanie described it as a land without magic, making Rump think it was our world. Maybe Wonderland was a land without magic before Rump and Regina sent Cora there. I still think Cora was the Red Queen there. And the one Hook had opened a portal into Neverland. Kind of a similarity between the names: Wonderland and Neverland. I still think Jefferson will turn out to be Bae and so far this latest piece of intel makes me think it even more.


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    • Ebower profile image

      Erin Bower 5 years ago from Georgia

      I've already written 2 hubs about 'Once Upon A Time' and I was going to write about Captain Hook next, but you beat me to it! Haha. This is a great hub. I voted it up and awesome. P.S. I can't wait to see what happens in Neverland!