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Once Upon A Time -- The Cricket Game

Updated on January 7, 2013

Worst episode of the entire series

Or a better title might be, The Three Stooges Investigate A Crime.

Whatever the case, this was an episode that was horrible and dragged so badly I thought it would never end. I kept watching the clock wondering when this dreck would be over. Whenever the primary focus of an episode is on Snoring and their repulsive groupies it's never a good episode. They're among the weakest elements of this show.

Cora and Hook arrived in Storybrooke but it was kind of much ado about nothing. Cora made Hook's boat invisible and wouldn't let him leave it to go after Rump to get his revenge. Consider her the brains of the operation, since she realized there was magic in Storybrooke and was actually saving Hooker's pathetic hide. Meanwhile, Cora wants to make sure Regina is broken before she goes to her, so she shape-shifts herself into Regina and appears to murder Archie. Appears, because she has Archie stowed away on Hook's ship. She also leaves a body behind she uses magic to make appear to be Archie.

Snoring have a cow when Emma extends the hand of friendship to Regina and invites her to their welcome home party and their groupies act like the cretins they are to Regina. Guess Regina gets no kudos for helping to bring their beloved idols home. I also guess Emma didn't get the Snoring memo about how they use people to get what they want and if they don't worship them then they lift their collective legs and pee all over them while acting condescending to them.

Numero Dos Snoring Groupie, Dead Head Red, can't wait to point a finger at Regina as the murderer of Archie. Emma actually believes Regina is innocent, much to the chagrin of Snoring, who think they're part of the investigation team, as they keep hissing in Emma's ear, "She did it! She did it!" Last I heard, Mary Moron was the local school teacher, as for Pompous, he was only filling in as sheriff. Now the sheriff is back, it's time for him to go back and do what he does best. Cleaning up after a flock of sheep. Sorry, Pompous, there's no thrones for you to sit your worthless butt on and declare yourself leader.

Of course, since Emma doesn't think Regina did it, the Three Stooges decide that it's Rump who did the foul deed. After knocking their heads together and poking each other in the eye, they tromp over to Rump's shop to condescend and accuse him. Per usual, Rump is polite to these ill-mannered slugs and helps Emma to use magic to read into Pongo's memory which shows her a picture of Regina killing Archie and gets on Snoring's bandwagon that Regina is guilty.

I had to laugh when Snoring great plan to have the Blue Meanie throw fairy dust on Regina didn't work and she tossed it on Snoring instead and the two imbeciles just cowered and did nothing. Also loved Regina shooting precious Emma on her backside. Remember this moment Charmings, when you want Regina to take on Cora to save your worthless pathetic hides. You imbeciles think Regina is bad. You haven't seen bad until you go up against Cora.

Anyway, Regina watches from her car as Emma tells Henry Regina killed Archie. Of course, the brat, won't doubt it for a second. After all, his beloved Emma told him it's true. Here's hoping Regina leaves Storybrooke, has her memory wiped of these cretins and finds a new happy life. Magic is supposed to have a price, so Cora's price should be that Regina vanishes, having her great plan backfire on her.

And if you didn't get enough of Snoring and their sycophants, you also got a flashback of them. They apparently burned down the homes of the villagers loyal to King Charile Widmore, used their buddy the Blue Meanie, to do something to King Charlie, then took over his castle and sat their butts on his throne and declared themselves the new leaders. Then they imprisoned Regina.

We got another scene with Regina's daddy, and the more you see of him, the more you can see why Regina ripped his heart out of his chest. He urged Regina to become a Snoring sycophant, but she refused. Enter Rump, who basically pulled everyone's strings and put the idea in Regina's head to take Snoring to another land so she could make their lives miserable.

It was a pointless flashback, but the writers can't shove Snoring down our throats enough. But what do you expect? These are the same Lost writers that shoved pointless Jack flashbacks down our throats, as well. Fortunately, on Lost there were plenty of good characters to counterbalance all the Jack pandering. Unfortunately, on this show there's only Rump and Regina and they can't counterbalance Snoring and a show full of their butt-sucking sycophants. If these writers don't dial this crap back majorly, they'll be lucky to make it to another season.

It was a horrible episode that I thought would never end. I haven't gone through something like this, where I was constantly looking at the clock wondering how much longer before this garbage goes off, since the finale of Lost.


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