What's it all about?
I thought I'd be really controversial and begin this hub with a photo of my cock! Nice, isn't it? It's up every morning, greeting the day and wakening the neighbours. My neighbours love my cock, especially that Mrs. Smyth a few doors down. She told me once that if it wasn't for my cock, she'd probably never waken up in the morning.
Ok, I think I've just about exhausted all the innuendo.... so let me get to the crux of my gripe here. I'm a 53 year old man, who's pretty healthy. I reckon I have a fairly active sex-life, and am fortunate to have a rather beautiful wife. So I'd like to give notice here, to the dozens of obnoxious promotion companys who seem to target my email and gmail addresses with their incessant campaigns. Listen guys...once and for all.
I do NOT have erectile dysfunction! I am NOT unhappy with the length of my penis. I do NOT have trouble sustaining an erection! I do NOT feel the need to make my erections last for half an hour longer! I do NOT desire the sexual prowess of a porn star! I do NOT want creams, gels, ointments, tablets, remedies, cures, enhancers, or any of the other products that you recommend to make me feel like more of a man!!!
How did those obnoxious gits get my address anyway? And who told them I was over fifty? The day after my fiftieth birthday, the number of sales pitches doubled, and they just keep growing and growing!
Neither do I wish to find a Russian wife, or a Thai servant "who's willing to do a few 'extra' chores"! I don't really care if Nastasha or Yasmin is "looking to be very true love of kind gentleman who will love me for my soul and be my friend for life"! I never ASKED for your attentions, and I'm not going to give up the happy marriage that I'm already in to make you happy!
Please, please, PLEASE.... just leave me alone.
And before I go.... what's the difference between a Rooster and a prostitute?
A rooster goes "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" A prostitute goes "Any cock'll-do!"
End of gripe!