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Phil Robertson Duck Commander Quotes

Updated on September 8, 2015
Phil Robertson Quote of the Day
Phil Robertson Quote of the Day

Phil Robertson Funny Quotes

Duck Dynasty is quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to TV! Almost every word spoken on this show is comedic gold. Every quote made by uncle Si, Jase Robertson, Phil Robertson and Willie Robertson is not only hilarious but also giving a life lesson too. Hope you will enjoy the following awesome and bit funny quotes made by Duck Commander.

Phil Robertson Quotes:

  1. If there is anything that I don't like, it is the beaver, the problem with these beavers is there like the Viet Cong, they only move at night and they live in holes in the ground.
  2. So many girls want boyfriends around me. I just want my other half, yoga pants, duck dynasty and jack in the crack tacos. Like come on, help a ginger out.
  3. In some cases karma is too late and they have already messed their own lives up.
  4. When I was in the military, we played basketball barefoot on gravel! There were snakes and gators on the court! Sometimes we didn't even have a ball; we had to pretend there was a ball. Try stealing a fake ball that wasn't even there! Ridiculous!
  5. In a subdivision, you call 911. At home, I AM 911.
  6. That awkward moment when your buddy farts and it sounds like a challenge!
  7. As a father you want to see a smile on your daughter's face and fear in her boyfriend's eyes.
  8. I don't want my daughter at a dance with some guy I don't know bumping and rubbing on each other.
  9. I mean if you're going to meet your daughter’s friend, and he happens to be a boy, what better way to do it then with a shotgun in your hand?
  10. My life mission is to grow a beard like Phil Robertson.
  11. Uptown you have to call the police; at home I'm the police.
  12. Your redneck chariot awaits, I wish someone would tell me that!
  13. Understanding mountain man is like Han Solo understanding Chewbacca.
  14. I'm posting this on my laptop while my phone is hooked up, getting an update, on my iTunes...a little ironic huh.
  15. There is nothing better than putting on a pair of Aerospatiale sweatpants and a hood and hunting ducks.
  16. If it looks like a piece of poop, it's probably a piece of poop. Or maybe it’s mud.
  17. Better your days spent catching fish than a lifetime of crabs. You’ll go from happy, happy, happy to crappy, crappy, crappy.
  18. Miss Kay to Phil: I'm not a yuppie girl. I cut down three trees, transported the trees on my shoulder up a hill, and cut the trees into firewood. Just thought I would let you know that there are still girls out there that aren’t yuppie.
  19. I have to say after a day from hell, all the tears we've shed.
  20. If my karma is to save the world I'm sure everyone would reject me.
  21. I knew something about this, but actually thought he was Bradshaw's backup, not the other way around.
  22. I am not into pie making, I am into pie eating!
  23. No water, No ducks! Duck are a lot like women they don't like mud on their Butts and what we have here, is a lot of Mud.
  24. I know the perfect plan to fix this country's problems just put Phil Robertson from duck dynasty into the White House.
  25. If you marry a woman who knows how to clean a catfish, every man on earth would be proud to have her.
  26. When I see brake lights at a distance coming at a pretty good speed, I'm gone.
  27. Lazy people always blame someone else for their breakdown in life but hard workers they always see disappointment as a challenge that they have to overcome to get to the next level.

Enjoy and share the above Duck Dynasty quotes with your friends on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram. You are also welcome to share your favorite Phil quotes in the comments below.

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Phil Robertson Funniest

  • The last thing I would want is one of them come to me and say guess what Papaw I've gotten herpes. And I was like yeah, well, I know where that comes from.
  • A good day fishing is better than a lifetime of crabs!
  • I want a woman who can cook to be my wife. If you can't cook, kick the rocks.
  • Sometimes it's time to pee on the fire and call the dogs.
  • Phil Robertson for President and Si Robertson for Vice President! Hey Jack...they can't be any worse than the two we got in there now!
  • I just discovered that I have the same lamp in our living room that Jase Robertson has beside his recliner. Not sure if that's a good thing.


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      garrett moorman 4 years ago

      I love you fat willey

      You are the best!

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      Monty Green 5 years ago

      I would be a better president then these fools .... we need a great American like Phil Robertson to run for president enough said.