Please Get The Perfect Out Of My Television Shows

To be totally-honest with you . . .

we have all been had. Hood-winked. Conned. "Taken for a ride." Had the proverbial "wool pulled over our eyes," and taken advantage of during our numerous years of enjoying our buddy, "television," and it's first cousin, "movies made for theatres."

I'm not kidding . . .

what we have been led to believe was quality television and films, were nothing more than some ultra-powerful men and women in the entertainment industry who got together in a secret locale many years ago and decided among themselves to lure us, the television and film-watching pubic that mistakes, bloopers, and screw-up's were bad for their product. When in fact, they are not. To me, mistakes, bloopers, and screw-up's are far more interesting. Funny. And honest.

So why the "Perfect Illusion"? . . .

simple. We believed the illusion of all the television and movies that we've enjoyed since these two vehicles of entertainment were infants, had to be perfect in order to be successful. I hate to use the following off-color words but, "bunk," and "hog wash"! To the Editors of HubPages, I offer my sincere apologies.

I mean why is it . . .

that a television show or movie has to be just right. "On the money." "All their ducks in a row"? Oh, I suppose that these same secretive entertainment brokers, whose names are well-hidden from public view, joined forces with the powerful Hollywood, New York and Los Angeles society who calls the shots in fashion, books, music and shoes and agreed. Television shows and movies are either perfect or they don't get aired.

Then explain to me why Dick "The Ageless One" Clark and the late Ed McMahon experienced truckloads of success with their NBC show, "Bloopers and Practical Jokes"? The show was hilarious. I mean I was glued to the screen every week that the show came on. I never missed it. Why? Because "I" love mistakes. Flaws. Imperfect people in imperfect situations. Plain and simple. I personally am far from a perfect human being. And so are the so-called celebrities that we have come to love, adore and dream about taking home to eat lunch with us because for over the years, "perfection," has been the standard for excellence in television and movie performances.

I realize that I've ruffled a few feathers . . .

with my honest observations, but I simply cannot go any further--living this secret lie of telling my friends just "how much" I enjoyed the latest performance by Jamie Foxx or Jay Leno because sadly, I didn't. And that has eat at me for years. I was afraid that if I came forth and confessed my love for the off-center. The missed lines. Forgotten lines. And forgotten lines, I would be drummed out of the human race. And I still might be if the powerful people in the "entertainment industry machine" were to read this hub. These people, I tell you, wield more power than President Obama. Even the C.I.A. I truly believe there has always been a strong connection between Hollywood and the C.I.A. over the years to make sure that men like me are kept quiet when the truth needs to be published about television shows and movies.

Now that I'm out in the open . . .

I might as well "go for it," and tell you the unvarnished truth on how "I" would love to get my bag of microwave popcorn (another secret tool of the C.I.A. and Hollywood to see what people like me are doing in our homes) and relax while watching my favorite television shows, but with the "human element" being left in these shows and do away with that ridiculous perfection attitude.

WHAT WOULD MY "HUMAN ELEMENT" DO FOR TELEVISION AND MOVIES?

1. Relieve the massive pressure that's on the actors and when the pressure to be perfect is done away with, their performances are much more believable and enjoyable.
2. Make the working conditions on the sets of television shows and movies more relaxed and give them an air of relaxation thus making a better entertainment product.
3. Do away with screaming directors and writers.
4. People such as myself would come more apt to spend our hard-earned bucks on movies and stay loyal to shows on CBS (for I do not watch ABC or NBC).
5. Advertisers would love this new concept and buy billions of dollars in ads for television and even sponsor the films that Hollywood churns out at record pace.

THINGS WE DO NOT SEE TODAY ON TELEVISION SHOWS AND FILMS

1. Actors saying, "Excuse me folks, I need to visit the 'john.'
2. Actors actually talking like day-to-day people--walking into the room of a scene and say, "Hey, buddy. Wanna go and grab a few beers and get drunk?"
3. Dogs or cats being scolded for urinating on the floors.
4. Actors actually paying bills to television doctors for their medical services.
5. Actors doing human things such as belching after a huge meal.
6. Horses answering "nature's call" in westerns and films.
7. Guns in westerns never running out of shells.
8. Cars in movies and television shows getting "egged" by teen vandals.

Follow me further down this "New Path of Redesigning Television and Movies" and read

THINGS I WOULD LOVE TO SEE ON TELEVISION AND MOVIES

1. The lovely Beyonce forget a key lyric when on a television variety show.
2. Dan Patrick, the sports talk show icon, getting told off on the air of his own show.
3. Kat Dennings "Max," on CBS' "Two Broke Girls" "really" drop a plate of hot food on some poor diner's lap.
4. The alluring Lindsay Lohan appear in public CLEAN AND SOBER and get as much press as she did when she was drunk and on drugs.
5. "Dr. Spencer Reid," Matthew Gray Grubler on CBS' "Criminal Minds," to actually be confused and unable to solve that week's crime dilemma. I would love this.
6. Patrick Wilson of CBS' "A Gifted Man" make a mistake when performing surgery on a patient.
7. For CBS' Evening News Scott Pelley to sneeze during a newscast.

You see, ladies and gentlemen, this is all about being human. Being honest with us, the viewers. And being true to our mortal existence.

This is nothing difficult. Deeply-philosophical. Or even metaphysical. Just providing us the honest television and movies that we crave. I would have loved to see Cary Grant, Paul Newman or even Sean "007" Connery, lose a fight to a thug and lose a girl to a rival playboy.

Do you think my idea has merit? Would viewers watch shows with the honest, human element?

Well to prove a point. Remember all the drama surrounding Oprah Winfrey and her overly-dramatized and publicized weight loss problem?

Need I say more?

PS: Sorry, but you do not get a FREE new car just for reading this hub.