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Poor Show - Horrible Advertisements of the Week: T-Mobile

Updated on May 30, 2016

At Long Last

Well, finals are coming up this week (best of luck to you and your loved ones, should you not make it), and I spent the weekend procrastinating and reading the works of H.P. Lovecraft, so this won't be quite so long as I perhaps would have liked. But this review has been a long time coming; in fact, this weeks topic first gave me the idea for an article about verbally abusing advertisements, so I shouldn't have much of a problem typing this out. It is with great joy in my heart that I present to you: my rant against T-Mobile and their eye gouging-ly bad YouTube commercials

So... Much... Pink

First things first, color palette. T-Mobile people, I know you're going for a "cool, trendy" kind of look (which doesn't work, but I'll come to that later), but choose your colors wisely. Bright luminescent pink on a background of white or black does not inspire my everlasting trust. Nor does it prompt me to make irrational purchases like the color red does. In fact, the only thing it seems to do well horrify and bewilder me, and if that's what you were going for, then you've got that down to a science, but I can't see that being terribly productive to your goal of getting me to go against every instinct in my body and buy your stuff.

You're Not As Cool As You Think You Are

Now, onto my second (of too many to put on this page) complaint: marketing yourselves as cool. This is something that every single advertisement tries, and inevitably fails, to do. But to explain why you should avoid this, I'm first going to sum up middle class America in 3 words: Cynical, Stubborn, and... actually, no, those 2 will do nicely. No one who hasn't recently tried to make out with an electrical socket is going to suddenly lose all their bitterness and mistrust towards multi-billion dollar, Satan-run, developing-nation stifling corporations such as yourselves.

The only way you are going to convince people to buy your stuff is if they genuinely think they are getting a better deal than from the competition. Or, as is the case where I live, if the only other alternative is run like a KFC owned by brain-damaged PETA activists.

Last And Least

Moving to my third complaint, I think I've gone on about this enough previously, but just in case you've missed it: 30 second unskippable advertisements are like a catholic priest in an elementary school playground: not helping anyone, and a real pain in the ass.

Ende

Okay, that's about enough of that. Sorry for the smaller article today, I will return to the normal format next week.

In the comments, tell me how your finals went, mainly I just want some conversation down there it's starting to get lonely here. Also, it is my wish to end this sentence without a period, just to annoy the paranoid completionists out there

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