ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Pre Drilled holes, how to get rich quick

Updated on November 5, 2008

Pre-Drilled holes

I sat in my office one Monday morning doing some paperwork. Finding it rather boring I looked out the window into space.

A lineman appeared up on one of the power poles. He was resplendent with his hardhat, climbing spikes and a big tool belt from which dangled all forms of implements. He positioned himself just below the wires at the crossbeam and began drilling a hole upward. I watched all forms of debris fall onto his head and body. He turned and spat every so often. I think it was mostly pigeon poop.

Then it struck me! There was a fortune to be made in the sale of pre-drilled holes!

"This is pure genius," I said out loud! "I will be rich!" "I will buy a fancy car and a yacht! I was excited! I started writing down all of the possibilities for selling them.

Packets all of 1 size; so that people would have to buy different sizes?

Packets with 1 of each size; then if they need 4 holes they have to buy 4 packets! Oh yeah!! I could already feel the money in my pockets! It was going to be one heck of a car and I would be able to drive it onto my yacht!

Would I want to sell holes set to specific depths or just sell through holes?

Probably, I should start with through holes and add the set depth holes later on in a big advertising campaign.

Wow! I could arrange to pose with a polar bear next to an ice hole! What kind of advertizing genius is that, "Damn I'm Good!."

I had to tell someone about my invention. I was too excited not to! But; I had to be careful, since I had no patent yet. I decided to run home and tell my cat. He doesn't talk to strangers and he is an indoor cat so he really wouldn't have much chance to say anything to other cats. Of course I have always trusted him to be discrete; after all, he is Siamese.

On the way home I stopped and bought some of that fancy gourmet cat food. The one you are supposed to serve in crystal goblets, with a sprig of fresh catnip. I came in the door and called out to my cat to come and join me, saying that we needed to go over a problem from work.

I didn't want him to get too excited just yet. I was safe on this point; because he was not at all excited. He seemed to be annoyed that I had ruined an otherwise perfect nap that he had been working on all morning. He had finally worked out the shifting sweep of sunlight across the floor and exactly how to roll over in his sleep to keep in sync. I didn't have the heart to tell him it changes with the season.

Well; I laid out the whole concept for him, spreading the papers on the floor for him to see. He really appreciated the food. I gave him the catnip and I sat next to him on the floor. I was hardly able to control myself as he went over the plan.

He walked back and forth across my carefully written notes and stopped to chew on some of the corners where he thought there should be more punctuation. He laid down and stretched out on top of it all. He rolled onto his back and tried pulling one sheet of paper over himself. He didn't like that angle at all! Now I was getting worried; he usually breaks for a nap at this point but he seemed to be more interested than that.

Then he stood up, arched his back and dug his claws right through the middle paper. He yawned and walked away.

Well there it was! How could I be so blind? A big hole right there in the paper. Obviously he was referring to the problem of packaging and shipping. Duhh; any Tabby could have told me that!! No matter what kind of container you put holes into there would be a hole in it, in fact there would be a dozen, although I was thinking more about selling them in groups of 10 or better yet some odd number like 3.

I picked up the page and as soon as I turned it over I saw the problems with product liability. What if some clumsy construction worker tripped and spilled an entire container from atop a high rise? If they fell they could land on anything or anyone. That could get ugly very quickly!

But; since holes are nothing, and air is something, I figured they should fall up.

But what about airplanes and can you imagine the "greenhouse gas gang" shouting about holes in the atmosphere. What if a package broke open in a ship or a plane! It was all too much!

Well, I just gave up on the whole damn thing and went back to work!

I was once more looking out the same window and saw there was a new power line on the poles. I wondered how long it had taken for the worker to finish drilling, and how much pidgin poop he had eaten.

I thought about my cat' and how much he seemed to know about things. And it occurred to me. If you want to watch sports or talk about things like how high do you really need to jump for a ball to get the respect you deserve, you should probably ask a dog.

But if you need to discus abstract philosophy, technologies, or marketing strategies, and the law, or even advanced physics -- well; you're better off consulting a cat.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)