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Pre Drilled holes, how to get rich quick

Updated on November 5, 2008

Pre-Drilled holes

I sat in my office one Monday morning doing some paperwork. Finding it rather boring I looked out the window into space.

A lineman appeared up on one of the power poles. He was resplendent with his hardhat, climbing spikes and a big tool belt from which dangled all forms of implements. He positioned himself just below the wires at the crossbeam and began drilling a hole upward. I watched all forms of debris fall onto his head and body. He turned and spat every so often. I think it was mostly pigeon poop.

Then it struck me! There was a fortune to be made in the sale of pre-drilled holes!

"This is pure genius," I said out loud! "I will be rich!" "I will buy a fancy car and a yacht! I was excited! I started writing down all of the possibilities for selling them.

Packets all of 1 size; so that people would have to buy different sizes?

Packets with 1 of each size; then if they need 4 holes they have to buy 4 packets! Oh yeah!! I could already feel the money in my pockets! It was going to be one heck of a car and I would be able to drive it onto my yacht!

Would I want to sell holes set to specific depths or just sell through holes?

Probably, I should start with through holes and add the set depth holes later on in a big advertising campaign.

Wow! I could arrange to pose with a polar bear next to an ice hole! What kind of advertizing genius is that, "Damn I'm Good!."

I had to tell someone about my invention. I was too excited not to! But; I had to be careful, since I had no patent yet. I decided to run home and tell my cat. He doesn't talk to strangers and he is an indoor cat so he really wouldn't have much chance to say anything to other cats. Of course I have always trusted him to be discrete; after all, he is Siamese.

On the way home I stopped and bought some of that fancy gourmet cat food. The one you are supposed to serve in crystal goblets, with a sprig of fresh catnip. I came in the door and called out to my cat to come and join me, saying that we needed to go over a problem from work.

I didn't want him to get too excited just yet. I was safe on this point; because he was not at all excited. He seemed to be annoyed that I had ruined an otherwise perfect nap that he had been working on all morning. He had finally worked out the shifting sweep of sunlight across the floor and exactly how to roll over in his sleep to keep in sync. I didn't have the heart to tell him it changes with the season.

Well; I laid out the whole concept for him, spreading the papers on the floor for him to see. He really appreciated the food. I gave him the catnip and I sat next to him on the floor. I was hardly able to control myself as he went over the plan.

He walked back and forth across my carefully written notes and stopped to chew on some of the corners where he thought there should be more punctuation. He laid down and stretched out on top of it all. He rolled onto his back and tried pulling one sheet of paper over himself. He didn't like that angle at all! Now I was getting worried; he usually breaks for a nap at this point but he seemed to be more interested than that.

Then he stood up, arched his back and dug his claws right through the middle paper. He yawned and walked away.

Well there it was! How could I be so blind? A big hole right there in the paper. Obviously he was referring to the problem of packaging and shipping. Duhh; any Tabby could have told me that!! No matter what kind of container you put holes into there would be a hole in it, in fact there would be a dozen, although I was thinking more about selling them in groups of 10 or better yet some odd number like 3.

I picked up the page and as soon as I turned it over I saw the problems with product liability. What if some clumsy construction worker tripped and spilled an entire container from atop a high rise? If they fell they could land on anything or anyone. That could get ugly very quickly!

But; since holes are nothing, and air is something, I figured they should fall up.

But what about airplanes and can you imagine the "greenhouse gas gang" shouting about holes in the atmosphere. What if a package broke open in a ship or a plane! It was all too much!

Well, I just gave up on the whole damn thing and went back to work!

I was once more looking out the same window and saw there was a new power line on the poles. I wondered how long it had taken for the worker to finish drilling, and how much pidgin poop he had eaten.

I thought about my cat' and how much he seemed to know about things. And it occurred to me. If you want to watch sports or talk about things like how high do you really need to jump for a ball to get the respect you deserve, you should probably ask a dog.

But if you need to discus abstract philosophy, technologies, or marketing strategies, and the law, or even advanced physics -- well; you're better off consulting a cat.


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