Pretty Little Liars -- Holy Hilarity, Batman!
The girls think it's all over, yet again!
Over the years this show has provoked a lot of feelings in me, but this is the first time it made me laugh my head off. The bad part is I don't think the writers intended the scenes to be funny.
I guess this is the episode where I got on board with the Lucy Hale can't act worth spit, so let's hope she makes a success of this singing career she's trying to launch contingent. Seriously, her bug-eyed look as her beloved teen stalker freak was loaded into the back of the ambulance was cringe-worthy. And so was most of her performances in this episode. But the unintentional laughs kind of made up for what she failed to bring to the table. Of course, seeing her wringing her hands over this freak that stalked and seduced her to write a book was pretty cringe-worthy in and of itself.
Anyway, just as you're rolling your eyes over Aria's hysterics over that disgusting pig Ezra, they flash to Ali on high looking down at the scene and what to your wondering eyes should appear? But A flattened on top of the ambulance, oh dear! I'm guessing that ridiculous sight of the Black Hoodie A riding on top of the ambulance was supposed to make us all fear for the perverted high school teacher. Unfortunately, most of us were hoping he'd kick off and be gone from our TV screens forever, so it was wasted on most of us. And the sight was just so ridiculous I wasn't the only one that just busted out laughing over the whole thing.
Then the credits rolled and I wondered if maybe they'd be changed because we know Ali isn't dead now, so the whole plastic body in the coffin thing seemed past it now. But the same credits rolled. Then it was back to the Pretty Little Liars Comedy Hour.
First we saw the doctors desperately trying to save Rosewood's number one teen stalker telling him, "It's up to you now, Mr. Fitz," not to mention, "He's got a lot of debris in him." What did Aria's make-up fall inside the wound when she was blubbering over him? Who describes a bullet as debris. The whole ER scene was ridiculous, as was all of the hospital scenes.
But it just got better or worse if you're actually trying to take this show seriously. We got A complete with black gloves, hoodie and some kind of black stocking over his/her face without any way to see or breathe through it putting on a white doctor's coat and walking around the hospital halls and no one even noticed anything strange. Seriously? And the police was even there.
Then we got an ode to Marlene King's beloved and cancelled Ravenswood where Ali is in the park playing bait and all the swings start magically swinging with no one in them and the merry-go-round starts spinning around. Suddenly A grabs Ali saying, "Wanna play," in a patently raspy disguised voice that sounded a lot like the creep in Scream, but Spencer and the liars pop out to protect their beloved and mace A. Only since A is wearing a mask it doesn't affect him. Then the liars smugness disappears as they're surrounded by a pack of masked A's doing some Masque of Red Death dance around them. And I'm laughing and yelling, "What are you going to do now, bitches?" And I realize that's how I think of them. As bitches. And I also realize I'm now officially rooting for A.
Of the four liars, only Spencer and Hanna are somewhat tolerable. The other two are brainless bimbos still lovesick over their victimizers and it's absolutely disgusting to watch. It's also been disgusting to watch how quickly all four liars crawled back up Ali's anus and are once again her devoted slaves. I thought Ali being alive would be interesting to show how much the liars have grown, but all the growing has completely evaporated. I also thought they'd finally see her for what she is, but the show is trying to do some revisionist history BS to white wash the vile little monster. They even rewrote season one scenes to do it. Not to mention their parents are worried sick and do these bitches even give a thought to calling them and telling them they're all right? Oh, heck no! They're too worried about their precious Ali who let them think she was dead and be victimized by A and didn't trust them. To the epithet bitches stupid should be added.
I honestly don't care how the writers try to twist things to whitewash Ali and her past disgusting behavior, I'll never buy her as anything but the vile little monster she is. Just like my skin will never stop crawling every time Ezra comes on screen after they wrote him as such a vile disgusting pervert last season.
Anyway, the liars escape the marauding A's and Ali takes them to this theater Ezra took her to and reveals Ezra revealed he was really Ezra Fitzgerald. Then cue a flashback between Ali and Board Shorts that I kind of zoned out on since it was so boring and without any kind of chemistry between the actors.
Some trouble cropped up between the besties when Ali insisted on calling someone privately and didn't want her girls hearing it. Hanna tried to eavesdrop but could hear anything, apparently. Then when the liars were asleep, Ali snuck out to meet Cece who magically managed to escape from police custody. I couldn't help wondering if she'd drugged them, again.
Seems Cece has been working for Ali. It was Ali who told Cece to dress up in a Red Coat and she had her spying for her on Ezra. She was also in Ravenswood because of Ali. According to Ali, who got caught sneaking back in by Emily, it was Cece who helped save Emily in Ravenswood after A popped her in a box. Of course, since Ali has made Emily feel special confiding in her she agrees to keep Ali's secret and not tell the liars about Ali sneaking out.
At the hospital love sick Aria keeps a vigil waiting for her news on her beloved stalker and victimizer, Ezra. She's joined by Shauna, who says Ali sent her. But when Ezra sees Shauna he flatlines, signifying to us that Shauna is Ezra's choice for who he thinks is A this week. Last week it was Jessica. In short, he don't know crap. So much for Ezra's BIG A revelation.
Then there's a big showdown at the theater when Shauna shows up in a black hoodie wanting to kill Ali cause she really loves Jenna and Jenna can have her life back if Ali is dead. Of course, none of this makes any sense when you take into consideration the events of last season. But what the heck, let's just go with it. Ezra whispered to Aria that Shauna was A, so in comes Mighty Midget to save the day. She attacks Shauna from behind, Shauna falls off the stage and dies, so Mighty Midget finally managed to kill someone this time.
Seriously, this show needs to stop trying to sell this mess of a character as some kick-butt character. It's really not believable. First she knocks Cece over a railing and now she successfully attacks the much taller and more athletic Shauna? Give me a break. They killed this character by the continuation of the Ezra and Aria garbage after her finding out her entire relationship with him was a lie. Now she's just a waste of space and airtime and Emily is fast joining her with her enslavement and love sick devotion to Ali.
Anyway, the liars think it's all over and it's safe for their beloved Ali to finally come home. Of course, never mind that it makes sense on no level. That it's not even believable that Shauna is the one who was after Ali and is A. The freaking timeline doesn't even fit. They're yapping, "Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty we are free at last."
In other Rosewood news, Mona is not pleased and proclaims it changes everything when she sees a news report that the liars are with Ali. She possibly tells this to a Red Coat. God, not again. I was hoping the Red Coat nonsense was finally over. She then puts together a nerd herd of Ali's victims to band together when the evil bitch returns to Rosewood. Amongst the group are Paige [who wants no part of it] and Lucas. Then in prances Melissa who is a part of this in some fashion.
The only good part of this episode was with the Hastings family. Melissa wanted to tell Veronica the truth about what she whispered to Peter at the police station and Peter was having none of it. Melissa acted like she was afraid of her father.
I'm not even sure if it's even worth trying to theorize on anything that happened in this episode as the writers will no doubt change it when a new story idea pops into their head. Not to mention is the news that this show has been renewed for two more seasons after this one, when the show is just running on fumes at the moment and this should really be it's last season. Meaning they'll be dragging this story out for three more years. And God only knows what illogical garbage the writers will have come up with by then.
Okay, here goes:
Ali putting Cece up to being Red Coat and being in Ravenswood suggests a few things. One of them is she's the one who lured them to Ravenswood for some fun and games, which casts a lot of doubt on her claim it was A that put Emily in the box and tried to kill her. It seems more likely that it was Ali who had Emily put in the box all so she could have her gratitude by saving her. She had Cece dressed in a Red Coat to make it look like Cece was the one trying to kill Emily. Of course, now she's claiming Cece helped to save Emily from A. Bottom line, we didn't see A around there, all we saw was Ali and Cece. Ali also led the liars to Ezra's supposed lair. So everything that happened in Ravenswood seemed to be another of Ali's manipulations.
Cece pretty much admitted she killed Wilden, but now it was supposedly for Ali. Big question is was Ali involved with the framing of Ashley for the crime? Since Cece is one of Ali's minions, why would A want to protect Cece by framing Ashley? If Cece went down for Wilden's murder that would take away yet another of Ali's helpers. The ones that had more motive to frame Ashley is Ali and Cece.
Shauna admitted to burning down the lodge. I'm just going to say it. Nothing involved with Shauna makes any sense. Shauna was helping Ali and she got attacked by A and scared into leaving town by A now she's suddenly supposed to be A? If she wanted to kill Ali, she had plenty of time to do it. You could go through the list of things the writers have claimed about Shauna and everything contradicts each other.
We also had the return of the A Team. The A at the hospital texted someone else. So it seems there's a team after Awful Ali. For some reason I kept thinking the A at the hospital was Toby. Probably because of that black and white episode and how close to what happened in it happened in the finale.
So there you have it. The latest Fake A is Shauna. They'll probably find that out next episode when A sends them a vid of Mighty Midget offing Shauna that Shauna wasn't A, after all. Cece is once again on Team Ali. And there is a real A Team out there. There's also a Nerd Herd.
Let's hope the next episode is an unintentionally funny as this one, since laughing through this mess makes it go down easier.
Prediction: this show may have gotten renewed for seven seasons, but it'll be cancelled by the end of season 6. It just doesn't have 7 seasons worth of material left to tell. And if the episodes continue in the same vein as this episode does, it may even be cancelled by the end of this season.