Project Accessory S1-2: Sole Searching Review

It’s the second episode of Project Accessory and I have the sinking feeling that if this show were to last more than one season, it’s going to need some retooling. Until then, we’re stuck with the current formula, which is just a replay of the Project Runway format and mannerisms. Watch out: Spoilers Below!

We begin with all the designers sighing in relief. They’ve lasted through the first episode. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought Brian’s belt was all sorts of ugly, but I’m saddened that the almost booted Nicolina was the only one chiming in with me.

Molly gives the designers a clue to the next challenge, ala Heidi. It looks rather odd since there aren’t any models to fight for, which is why PR does it, but whatever, I’ll just go with the flow on this one.

The challenge is simple: make to accessories to go with a little black dress. The designers are told to go to 499 Broadway and in case you don’t get it the first time, the designers repeat it for us so that we will forever have Swarovsky Crystallized’s address forever embedded in our minds.

Mentor Eva is there along with 2010 CFDA menswear award winning designer Richard Chai. The designers are told to pick one piece of jewelry from the store to inspire them. Then, they are to create 2 additional pieces: a piece of jewelry and a pair of shoes.

Cue gasping!

There’s a lot of drama, but it’s all about creative struggling and not designer conflict since everyone is getting along with a special bonus of also giving constructive feedback. Even James, the resident shoe designer, is helping everyone who asks. Everyone is all about the group hugs and happiness, except for Nicolina who is the first this season to say the infamous, “I’m not here to make friends” statement for the villain of the season. Thanks for stepping up Nicolina, I don’t know what I’d do without someone saying this cliché in between bouts of assholery and tears.

James and Shea have some weird thing going on. I’m not sure how to describe it other than to say it involves stilettos, over adulation and the most non-sexual and highly uncomfortable groping I’ve ever seen. Those two really gross me the hell out and I’ve seen Tokyo Gore Police multiple times and enjoyed it. Yikes.

In the end, as usual, there are 3 on top and 3 on the bottom. I’ll go through them as they were called out.

Brian made his shoes out of a mold. The process was really interesting and it looked gorgeous, until they walked the runway and looked really muddy and dark. He purposefully sends his model out with only one earring and it reminds me of when I did that in the 80s.

He also made an ugly bag, but it wasn’t a requirement and it appears that ugliness isn’t being held against him. Ariel only likes the shoes and verbally lambasts Brian. It’s amusing and now I’m beginning to warm up to Ariel.

He’s announced second and is the winner. I guess it’s no surprise since he’s the “shoe guy”, but I honestly thought his shoes were hideous and the matchy-matchy arm brace was something I saw on a superhero costume.

My Ariel love grows as he describes James’ other piece: “he went too far with that Xanadu headband”. And who really wears metal headbands?

After this, I’ve decided that even if Ariel is the only judge who can see it, James has taste level issues. How he won is beyond me, but the guest judge Nadja Swarovsky liked it, so there you go.

Though she’s not there to make any friends and cries way too much, Nicolina stepped up her game this episode. Her items looked cohesive and slick, though I think everyone could have done without the safety pin closure on her wrist cuff.

Her shoes are divine and they should really consider selling some of the items on this show because I want to buy a pair of those shoes.

I originally thought it was odd she was making a necklace to her inspiration necklace, but it worked out rather well. I thought her accessories were by far the best this week.

Apparently, there’s a guy named David on this show and he told a long story about a goddess walking around with his accessories being very goddessy. I have no idea what the hell he was talking about, but apparently goddesses like strolling around in ugly shoes and bedazzled metal jewelry. I thought his was the ugliest stuff on that runway, because it really lacked any fresh ideas and those shoes! Even people without any fashion sense knows those shoes couldn't be purchased in the clearance rack. Ugh. So bad.

I kind of feel sorry for the guy since he has the one model that is, how should I put it? Rough? Surly? Neanderthalian? She's got a great body, but comes across...ack. I dunno. I’ll just leave it at that.

Cee-lo’s second cousin twice removed made a pair of cute shoes and bedazzled the hell out of his little black dress.

When Mentor Eva was making the rounds right before models went to the runway, she told Adrian that the black panels on the back of his earrings were too much and that he should take them off. Adrian finished what he had, started reworking the earrings, but wasn’t able to finish. He left them on his work desk and because they were missing he was on the bottom.

The judges loved his shoes and they loved his over bedazzled little black dress. Strike One Mentor Eva.

Poor Kelly; she really had a hard time this challenge. Her vision was for a shoe with a bulky wooden heel. She worked all day and wasn’t pleased with how they were fitting so she went back to the heel the show provided. During the mentor chat, Mentor Eva tells her to go back to her first instinct and use the bulky heel, even though they were wobbly, she urged Kelly to take chances. Well, Kelly’s model almost fell on her bum as she stumbled down the runway.

Although the judges loved the earrings, they felt the shoes were terrible and she was booted. Goodbye Kelly, it was nice knowing you. I still don't think she had the worst of the bunch, but that's how the sparkles are bedazzled.

Strike Two Mentor Eva.

It appears that instead of nervously watching the designer walk away in silence (like in episode one), Molly’s taking another page from Heidi’s book and giving a hug and kiss to the parting designer. She also added, “You’re Out”, which was better than nothing, but still doesn’t have the same flair as Heidi.

Molly should find her own thing, her own flair, and her own words so it doesn’t look like she’s trying to copy absolutely everything Heidi Klum does.

Whatever she ends up with, hopefully it’s better than how she finished this episode, exclaiming to the parting designer to keep up the good work, you’re awesome, you’re really good…no really you are, it’s not you, it’s us. I added the last one, but her rambling on at the end was uncomfortable and almost funny in its mocking approach.

I have some nuggets of advice for the show. I know they didn’t ask and won’t read this, but I’d really like to see another season. It has a lot of potential, but there’s something a little off.

• Have the designers focus on ONE piece in the beginning. Coco Chanel famously said, “Before you leave the house, take one thing off.” How about we try quality before quantity?
• Stop the designers from redesigning the clothes they’re given to accessorize. If I want to watch someone design clothes, I’ll watch Project Runway. I’m here for the accessories, how about we focus on that, shall we?
• Take the bedazzler away. No seriously. It’s only the second episode and I’m already tired of hearing everyone wanting to ‘bling’ everything out.
• Stick with Molly, she’s definitely a keeper, but she needs to insert her own flair into the show. Currently, all I see is someone taking pages out of Heidi’s book and regurgitating what she’s read back.
• Either give Mentor Eva a personality change where she seems livelier on camera and gives better advice or get rid of her. I don’t know why they would edit her to look incompetent, but when she bothers to say something other than ‘it’s no good’, she gives advice that does a designer no good. They need to either fix the editing to show her giving better advice and show her personality (preferably to look like she wants to be there) or get rid of her. Tim Gunn is by no means perfect, but his advice is usually sound and he doesn’t tell designers to change something a few moments before the runway when any changes will do more harm than good.

Still, all in all, this is a good show with tons of potential. What did you think? Am I wrong about Mentor Eva? Did the right person get booted? Did the right person win?