Questions I Have About "Naked and Afraid"
Discovery Channel's hit Show
"Naked and Afraid" is an American reality series that airs on the Discovery Channel. The seventh season premiered Sunday, March 05, 2017. Each episode chronicles the lives of two survivalists (1 female; 1 male) who meet for the first time and are given the task of surviving a stay in the wilderness naked for 21 days. After they meet in the assigned locale, the partners must find and/or produce water, food, shelter, and clothing within the environment.
Partners strip down and meet each other. They are provided with rough cross-body satchels containing a personal diary/camera—for use when the camera crew is not there at night—and a map. They all wear identical necklaces with a center bead which is a microphone that has a wire that connects to a wireless audio transmitter hidden in the satchel. Some personal jewelry is allowed. Each survivalist is allowed to bring one helpful item, such as a hatchet or a fire starter. There is a camera crew who are not allowed to intervene except for medical emergencies when it is "absolutely necessary."
Now Please Understand
that I have loved the blessing of television since I watched my first show in 1961. Frankly, I am not an authorized, card-carrying "TV addict," but with enough boredom I know that I might succumb if not given positive things to challenge myself.
"Naked and Afraid" is one of my favorite shows. No use pumping you up on something that I do not care about. When I watch one of these episodes of "Naked and Afraid" my mind is going 200 M.P.H. and always finding new ways for couples to tackle their environment so they can stay 21 days in whatever place that Discovery Channel has chosen for them.
This show is never boring. I can attest to this. But as a realist I have to concede that (even) while watching one of these exciting adventure shows, I find myself with Questions I Have About Naked and Afraid.
I Know That This Segment is not Meant to be Funny
but I recall one episode on "Naked and Afraid" where this couple, a very pretty and talkative girl teamed with, as he said, "a real Marine, and didn't like to be bossed," and continued to bicker and complain about each suggestion that his female teammate offered him.
In fact, there were two intense scenes where this so-called Marine, took to being very childish and pouting simply because his teammate proved him to be wrong about a few of his foolish ideas.
But what was funny (to me) was how he called in one of the "Naked and Afraid" producers and began to whine and regale the producer about, as the Marine said, "this is driving me nuts. I cannot do this," and with that, I burst out laughing.
I wonder now if the guy fibbed about his application to be on "Naked and Afraid" for I know a few Marines who are NOT allowed to quit their training no matter how rough.
- Are Couples Ever: given the chance to negotiate with producers about (other) things that are considered "gimme's" by way of machete, a bag with a strap held over one shoulder and a fire starter--in this case, mosquito spray, a thermos bottle filled with water, a pair of sandals to name a few. I truly believe that if the producers of "Naked and Afraid" were to give in and allow these challengers to let them have my suggestions, this show would be bigger than M*A*S*H.
- When Challengers: on "Naked and Afraid" argue about certain weak areas of their abilities or maybe the desolate location where the two have to survive, are the couples ever allowed (by producers) to "clean their clock," or do a pro wrestling move like the "Figure Four Leg-lock," as performed by 16-time World Heavyweight Champion, Ric Flair? Bigger than M*A*S*H? If this were part of this show, "Naked and Afraid" would be bigger than television itself. Maybe bigger than the Emmys.
- Are The Producers: of "Naked and Afraid" ever caught sneaking by bologna sandwiches, hotdogs and an ice-cold Coca Cola without the camera crew seeing them? I mean, a man and a woman can survive just so long on Boa's, bugs, and mysterious-looking lizards. Right, ladies?
- Why Don't: the male challengers ever take the initiative of just lunging out of the thick bush area (where this couple is trying to make it 21 days without tapping out) and tackle a Water Buffalo? Hey, the couples are allowed machetes and they can bring down those beefy animals to put over a roaring fire. Okay. why don't the female challengers ever think to design a fool-proof trap to catch a delicious-tasting bird that is perched directly over them in their camp? These couples are not dumb. They can be overcomers if given the chance.
- And Why Didn't: the one male challenger on a recent "Naked and Afraid" an ex-Marine with muscular body and survival skills let some pretty-but-really-whiny girl get on his nerves so bad that he tapped out and said, "I am going nuts," referring to the girl's invasion of his space. Now I have to wonder about the heavy and severe training put through the Marine Corps. and I used my common logic to arrive at the conclusion of maybe this Marine was not all that tough and gung ho. A girl beat you, dude. Every member of the hallowed Halls of Montezuma just shook their proud heads and looked sad while your naked butt was being led off by the bewildered producers.
- Various National Origins: of the male and female participants on this hit show on the Discovery Channel must have had some snake-charming background because a few of the males on this show said that they came from India. Oh, I got it. These Indian males were too intimidated to look at a King Cobra swaying back and forth while a snake charmer in some village was playing a neat tune on his flute. That's it. I would give the Discovery Channel a hundred bucks if an Indian guy were to charm, kill and eat, one of the venomous snakes slithering through the grass where these couples have to survive the 21 days to win the "Naked and Afraid" challenge. Of course his female counterpart would partake of this guy's survival skills.
And my most curious question is . . .
- Has There Ever: been any of the couples whom have been on "Naked and Afraid" got rather "friendly" when darkness falls? I mean really, producers of this hit show. The couples already admit (on camera) to snuggling to combine their body heat to stay warm in their shelter and you are telling me that one of the pretty female challengers, one named Amber (on this hub) and the male never did even talk about how great her hair, eyes, and figure looked? Are you not human? Get real, "Naked and Afraid," for I tell you that now after watching several episodes of this show . . .I would love to see all of the edited parts that producers throw away from "Naked and Afraid." Talk about a guaranteed Emmy.
Good night, Fort Bragg, N.C.
© 2017 Kenneth Avery