ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Review of Metallica's "Lulu"

Updated on June 22, 2012
Cover of the album... yeah.
Cover of the album... yeah.

A Grand Discovery

I love Metallica, when I first started to listen to them around 4 years ago I was 13. My very first album was their Black Album. From then on I explored their good albums; Master of Puppets, And Justice For All, Ride the Lightning, as well as the bad: Load, Reload, St. Anger. From EP's to live albums, I was a Metallica expert in one year flat. I was immensed in heavy metal from that point on, older bands I liked did nothing for me anymore. So I was extremely hyped when I heard my favorite band was teaming up with a then-unknown-to-me artist named Lou Reed. I liked Death Magnetic, and thought that Metallica would continue on that path, perhaps redeeming themselves for the past fifteen years of pseudo-metal music. If only they did.

How it all started

Metallica performed alongside Lou Reed at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, playing a couple of Reed's hits. If you watch the concert, you don't immediately think, "Hey! Why don't those guys all get together and make an album!" But they do, and Lou Reed chooses the "Lulu plays" as the concept that they should work on.

Review

I won't get into each and every minute of each and every song. I will, however, as this is a persuasive article wherein I try to convince you that the album is of poor quality, pull some rather interesting lyrics out of the album. It is worthy to note, in addition, that the entire album is almost 90 minutes, a good 20 or more is nothing. Meaning silence, or pauses, or simply a track playing recorded guitar feedback. They serve as very, very boring tunes. Now, as for the lyrics:

From the song Pumping Blood, which starts with Reed characteristically mumbling the title over and over again:

"I swallow your sharpest cutter
Like a colored man’s dick
Blood spurting from me"

Or from the song Little Dog:

"If you got the money you can go to the top
The female dog don't care what you got
As long as you can raise that
Little doggie face to a cold hearted pussy
You could have a taste
A taste of what the big dog got"

Perhaps Reed's lyrics are far too profound for my little teenage brain, but I do understand many of the concepts of the album: misery, loneliness, inferiority, hate and the feeling of insignificance. That's all well and good, but the poor delivery makes this album, in my eyes, irredeemable. As a reviewer on Blabbermouth stated, the album is just Reed's ramblings over Metallica demos that were never meant for release. It is a very sad state of affairs.

If you watch their live performance of the slightly-less-disappointing-song, The View, then it all doesn't seem half bad. But, as Metallica standards go, this album is the worst they've ever released. I do take slight comfort in the fact that this is mostly a Lou Reed album more than anything else, but even so: Metallica should have known better than partake in all this. At least St. Anger had some songs of partial quality. If you're a Metallica fan, stick to their earlier stuff and wait for the 2012 album.

Live Metallica, but it's still Lulu

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • InTuneWithCooking profile image

      InTuneWithCooking 5 years ago from Australia

      Metallica have 5 albums as far as I'm concerned...the first 5. Although, I think bad production ruined Death Magnetic, that had the makings of something good, they just didn't capture it. Good review mate.

    • Steve Orion profile image
      Author

      Steve Orion 5 years ago from Tampa, Florida

      Thanks for reading and commenting! Indeed, their first five were great. As far as Death Magnetic is concerned, I listen to the Guitar Hero version on my MP3, so it's ok. Hopefully their next one is a true metal album!

    • FatFreddysCat profile image

      Keith Abt 5 years ago from The Garden State

      I've been listening to Metallica since 1984 and even *I* couldn't stomach this collaboration. I'm sure the band had fun working on it but judging by the tracks I've heard, it's not much fun to listen to.

      ...Dave Mustaine must be doing a happy dance, because Megadeth's new album was released on the same day as "Lulu" and outsold it by a large margin. "Woo hoo! I finally beat those backstabbing SOB's! Thank you Lou Reed!"

    • Steve Orion profile image
      Author

      Steve Orion 5 years ago from Tampa, Florida

      Indeed, I'd think their intentions were good... though it's hard to comprehend that someone didn't stop them and say "Hey... guys, this really sucks." Or maybe they did and Metallica didn't care.

      As far as Mustaine is concerned, Thirteen isn't exactly a masterpiece, though it did get good reviews. Was it better than Lulu? Of course! I'm just waiting for Metallica's 2012 album... if it isn't at least AS good as Death Magnetic, I might give them up for good. Thanks for the read and comment!

    • FatFreddysCat profile image

      Keith Abt 5 years ago from The Garden State

      I'm digging Megadeth's new one. I think the previous album ("Endgame") was better but then I'm a Mustaine fanboy for the most part so I like all of their stuff (even the mostly-hated "Risk") to some degree. Which reminds me, I've been working on a Hub review of the new Megadeth for awhile now... I need to finish that damn thing. :D

    • Steve Orion profile image
      Author

      Steve Orion 5 years ago from Tampa, Florida

      Nice! I'll check it out when it's published. Now that I'm done with KoRn's new release, I'll continue to another. I'm not sure, though, about which one from which band? I'm thinking another Judas Priest album, maybe Vengeance or Stained Class. I might just choose one at random, as I'll eventually get them all.

    • TheHeavyReview profile image

      TheHeavyReview 5 years ago

      This album was one of the worst I've ever heard, and I didn't even listen to the whole thing. I knew it was going to be awful, but I had no idea that Metallica could release something this bad. It was definitely the worst album by a band I like. I would also say that this is the worst album to come out (by a metal band) in 2011.

    • Steve Orion profile image
      Author

      Steve Orion 5 years ago from Tampa, Florida

      Yep. The only comfort (and it is hardly that) is that it is more of a Lou Reed album than Metallica. Still, there is really no excuse for it. Let's hope Metallica's 2012 or 2013 effort is a bit better.

    Click to Rate This Article