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Star Wars Is Ruined... Again. By The Hack Rian Johnson

Updated on July 18, 2020
Aaron James Skull profile image

Real name Aaron James Hills, I love to write and express my opinion through fiction and non-fiction.

My Rating For "Star Wars: Last Jedi"

1 star for Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Summary: Rian Johnson fails on so many levels, making the worst Star Wars movie in 15 years, but certainly not the first or last.
Summary: Rian Johnson fails on so many levels, making the worst Star Wars movie in 15 years, but certainly not the first or last. | Source

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Review Part 1: The Bad Filmaking

Rian Johnson is a smug pompous liar he lied about 'Empire Strikes Back' being polarizing, on the contrary, that movie made more money than any other of the top five movies of that year combined and was re-released two more times to keep up with demand. It was anything but polarizing it was beloved, contrary to The Last Jedi. Rian changed many aspects of Star Wars to suit his agenda, of making a terrible movie there are many examples of this that I will get into later in this review. If you are a Star Wars Fan, I hope you will enjoy my denunciation of the Disney Star Wars disaster, as I will review the rest of the new canon in short order, thank you.

Mark Hamill himself hated Rian's interpretation of Luke Skywalker, sarcastically mocking him, and JJ Abrams in several interviews, once calling the latter Jar Jar Abrams. In another interview, Carrie Fisher calls Rian an a**hole. The reason every character and plot element has changed for the worse is that Rian the retard, I mean special individual, said because he wants to be a contrarian ass clown who makes mostly mediocre films. Except in this instance where he managed to not only make a terrible film but also cement his career as a terrible narcissistic director who ridicules his audience just like the horrible cast and crew of Ghostbusters 2016. He also gives us another pointless addition to Star Wars canon, Porgs, stupid penguin quail seal things, that are almost as stupid as Ewoks, but even more annoying and useless.

On the Neolithic Irish Cliff Planet, which is one of the worst parts of the film, I mean the whole movie is terrible, but it is here that we meet the mean curmudgeon hermit Luke, who acts like a Rian Johnson monster. Luke, has turned his back on all that he learned, as shown in his first scene in the film, where he tosses his father's lightsaber away, as if it were garbage, betraying all that he learned, from Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Yoda. We also meet, dumb penguin seal things, called Porgs, and even uglier monsters with tits, whom Luke milks, and then drinks their disgusting monster milk. And, a fake Yoda who also disparages the Jedi, acting like a dumb clown, and mocking everything he ever taught Luke, during his Jedi training, which is another "F*** YOU" to the fans, from Rian Retard, I mean Rian Johnson.

Part 2: The Bad Characters and Logic

The Force has now become a dumb plot device to make its main character perfect and unrelatable, like magic in the Harry Potter movies. Rey is the clichéd "chosen one" who can do anything, which is another overused trope also found in Harry Potter. Rey, with little to no training whatsoever, manages to use powerful Jedi powers like telepathy, mind control, and telekinesis, and she can defeat anyone even Jedi masters, for example, she can take on Luke Skywalker and Kylo Ren and win. She also can’t emote convincingly, to save her life, every emotion on her face looks the same, like a joke expression chart, where it's just the same face for every emotion. However, the Rebel Alliance scenes are equally bad, all the men are dumb and all the women are smart, but not really. There's a Purple Hair Lady who mocks Poe, a male fighter pilot, for trying to have a plan and being proactive when she is doing nothing, She is mutinied against by Poe and others, for being a dumb purple hair lady with no plan. Leia learns about this, and then attacks Poe, because she too is hateful of men, and then purple hair lady kills herself.

Rose, another new character, who is also useless and dumb, and nearly kills Finn, to prevent them from sacrificing themselves to save others, the unintended irony astounds me. Leia can now survive in the vacuum of space for quite a long time with no explanation. And she can even open her eyes without getting them immediately frozen, or her blood boiling because of the lack of pressure, and then she uses The Force to Mary Poppins herself back onto the nearest spaceship. Rian Johnson makes all the female characters stupid, annoying, and hateful of all the male characters who are now all dumb and useless because of bad writing, even Leia has been tainted by this pretentious idiocy. Leia Luke Yoda and Chewy and the new boring cast are all just pawns, in the scheme of a Soulless Ginger, named Rian who hates Star Wars and loves to "subvert expectations," which is code for bad film making.

Snoke, the supposed villain who appeared out of nowhere, in The Force Awakens, and now in The Last Jedi, has powers never before seen in the Star Wars Universe; he can even manipulate Emo Faux Vader and Rey's thoughts and get them to "Space Skype" each other and even send water through space. And Luke can now somehow project himself, from light-years away, and even bring solid objects with him. Hyperspace is also ruined when Purple Hair lady kills herself by going into hyperspace and manages to take most of the first order with her. Then to finish the film, they kill off the main antagonist anti-climatically by cutting him in half to "subvert expectations," and the dumbfounded first order makes ugly emo boy their new supreme leader.

Part 3: The End

However, that's not the real ending, and then they have a stupid final battle on a Hoth like Planet, but surprisingly it's not snow but salt as one of the troops on the ground states while looking at the camera. By the end "the resistance" has around 12 living members left alive, they are left in an utterly hopeless situation it's not a cliffhanger just a bad stupid ending. This film ruins the Jedi, The Force, and even the logic of space travel, by making hyperspace a weapon that can decimate an entire fleet, which was never the case before. The annoying blue-haired hysterical “lady” who no one likes, and is not a beloved character from the older films, is the one who gets a heroic death. All the old beloved characters get the shaft, so Rian Jar Jarson can make a terrible movie with his “woke” agenda, which is ironic because the film will make you fall asleep.

In summation, Rian Johnson ruins Star Wars again, like Jar Jar Abrams, and George Lucas before him, however, unlike George Lucas, he does it purely out of spite, instead of laziness. This is one of the worst Star Wars movies since the Phantom Menace and Attack of The Clones, and the fan scores from rotten tomatoes prove me right. In short, Rian Johnson and Jar Jar Abrams, ruin everything good, and beloved about Star Wars. And I hope George Lucas gets the rights to Star Wars back because, despite the horribly dull prequels, he did a much better job of managing Star Wars and producing movies, video games, and books than Disney has ever done or ever will do because all they do is rehash and copy older films and do nothing new.

It's official Star Wars: The Last Jedi, is the most hated star wars movie by fans.
It's official Star Wars: The Last Jedi, is the most hated star wars movie by fans. | Source

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