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Ringer -- I Am A Crook

Updated on March 1, 2012

It's really becoming a real trial to make myself watch this show. I know if I don't watch it live, even though I'm taping it, I won't watch it, at all. I'd actually rather watch Jane By Design, which is saying a lot about Ringer and none of it good.

Malcolm was determined to save the fair Bridget from marrying Andrew, who he declared was a crook, because The Tool told him so. Okay, first off, even if she marries Andrew it's not going to be legal. Even if The Shiv was dead, unless Andrew went out and got a new marriage license, the marriage wouldn't be legal.

Personally, I think Malcolm is just marking time waiting for everything to blow-up in Bridget's face and for her to get exposed so he can whisk her away and live happily ever after with her. If he is, he's going to grow old as everyone on this show are IQ-challenged and won't get it unless it's pointed out to them with pictures and one syllable words.

Anyway, Malcolm then concludes Olivia is the bad one. He even follows her and his suspicions are confirmed. Olivia's running a Ponzi scheme. Bridget tells Andrew, only for him to reveal, "No, it was all my idea." That's right. The one decent person left on this show filled with rotten people is just as rotten as the rest of them. Of course, Saint Bridget, will get all judgy because Andrew is a bad dude, like a recovering drug addict boozehag who let a man get away with murder and stole her sister's life has anything to judge anyone else over.

It seems Kathryn is Carpenter's secret lover and her secret partner. She was the brains behind the whole thing. Mommy promises Juliet to deal with Carpenter and gets Juliet to keep her yap shut about fessing up to Andrew. The kicker is Mommy is the one who had Tessa beaten in a coma. Mommy steals all the money and takes off for warmer climes. This story is so full of holes it could be Swiss cheese. How did the nice concerned teacher deflecting Juliet's advances become the uber sleaze he became a couple of episodes later?

Finally, The Shiv is back in Paris, thankfully sans her Parisian toy, Tyler. She learns she's more pregnant than she thought. Seems The Tool may have been firing blanks and Andrew may be the daddy. The Shiv is also having twins; double the please, double the fun. Of course, The Shiv doesn't tell The Tool that.

The Shiv also has a flashback of her wedding night with Andrew, when The Tool tells her Andrew is going to marry Bridget. They even had problems then when The Shiv told him she didn't want his baby but she refused to tell him why.

So, as things stand. Andrew is a crook running a Ponzi scheme. He isn't aware he's sleeping with his wife's twin or that his wife could be pregnant with his children. What an ugly little triangle. God, who the heck do you root for in this mess.


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