ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Scattered Comic Thoughts On A Mundane Night.

Updated on December 2, 2009

Scattered comic thoughts on a Monday night.

©-MFB III

If my entire body

was covered in
thick layers of hair
I would never comb it
that way I could always

look quite natty.


~
Sex is great
but you can't

take it with you
if we could

then graveyards
would have

far more humps
then they do now
as well as
things that go
"bump in the night"
stiff would have a

whole new meaning
and dem bones

would rise again
at least one anyway.
but then death is

a solo act is it not??
~
Being an ex-smoker
I find my vocabulary is changing
because now I realize......


Salem is a place where

they used to burn witches.


Kent is a place that lies

just east of Akron, Ohio
by the way is Akron an

Akron-noymn for boring..or what!


Camel is a large Obnoxious

beast with a hump
which sounds a lot like

me on those mornings
after a pack and a half...

but I didn't always get the hump.


Kool is a 70's type group

that has a gang that celebrates a lot.


Merit is something I

used to earn in school
but it usually had a D-

in front of it.


Lucky Strike is when a

doctor rear ends my car
and it's his fault.


Wins-ton is what happens

when I sue his rich butt

amd my wallet wins a ton of cash.


Virginia slim is a beef stick

I bought while passing

through Arlington.


Benson and Hedges

is my black neighbor

with his clippers

on a garden day.


Barclay is where I

usually end up, face down,
out the tavern's back door,

after a drinking binge.


Century is just about

how long it took me to quit.


Eve...was Adam's wife and she

invented the Adams apple.


Lark is something

I go out on once in a while....

like this poem??


Newport is when my computer

is down and I go to the library

to use thiers.


Old Gold is what you see

on the wrinkled necks
and fingers of over

80% of Miami residents.


Marlboro is some cowboy's butts

tossed in the gutter by a hoarse smoker.

Mysty is a soggy filter

in the rain.


A Bic is now a shaver...or a pen,
and a match is what I'm

looking for in a mate.


A Puff is a tissue for

my smoke free nose.


A Roach is something that

scuttles in other peoples domains.


Weed is the filler

for al the cracks in my sidewalk.


Bong is the sound

of a church bell downtown
and Pot is what you get

when you're over forty.

or if you drink beer to

compensate for your quitting smoke.


Smoke is now chimney vomit.


Cancer is still a threat

but I don't think about it any more
wnenever I see an ashtray
plus now I can sit anywhere

I damn well please in a restaurant.


But God I miss that rush,
the subtle weight on my lip....

the taste of one after dinner or sex.


I guess I'll have to take up running,

get my lip pierced
eat more smoked meat,

and have much more heated sex.


Yeah!! that's the ticket.

 

Popular

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)