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Scattered Comic Thoughts On A Mundane Night.

Updated on December 2, 2009

Scattered comic thoughts on a Monday night.


If my entire body

was covered in
thick layers of hair
I would never comb it
that way I could always

look quite natty.

Sex is great
but you can't

take it with you
if we could

then graveyards
would have

far more humps
then they do now
as well as
things that go
"bump in the night"
stiff would have a

whole new meaning
and dem bones

would rise again
at least one anyway.
but then death is

a solo act is it not??
Being an ex-smoker
I find my vocabulary is changing
because now I realize......

Salem is a place where

they used to burn witches.

Kent is a place that lies

just east of Akron, Ohio
by the way is Akron an

Akron-noymn for boring..or what!

Camel is a large Obnoxious

beast with a hump
which sounds a lot like

me on those mornings
after a pack and a half...

but I didn't always get the hump.

Kool is a 70's type group

that has a gang that celebrates a lot.

Merit is something I

used to earn in school
but it usually had a D-

in front of it.

Lucky Strike is when a

doctor rear ends my car
and it's his fault.

Wins-ton is what happens

when I sue his rich butt

amd my wallet wins a ton of cash.

Virginia slim is a beef stick

I bought while passing

through Arlington.

Benson and Hedges

is my black neighbor

with his clippers

on a garden day.

Barclay is where I

usually end up, face down,
out the tavern's back door,

after a drinking binge.

Century is just about

how long it took me to quit.

Eve...was Adam's wife and she

invented the Adams apple.

Lark is something

I go out on once in a while....

like this poem??

Newport is when my computer

is down and I go to the library

to use thiers.

Old Gold is what you see

on the wrinkled necks
and fingers of over

80% of Miami residents.

Marlboro is some cowboy's butts

tossed in the gutter by a hoarse smoker.

Mysty is a soggy filter

in the rain.

A Bic is now a shaver...or a pen,
and a match is what I'm

looking for in a mate.

A Puff is a tissue for

my smoke free nose.

A Roach is something that

scuttles in other peoples domains.

Weed is the filler

for al the cracks in my sidewalk.

Bong is the sound

of a church bell downtown
and Pot is what you get

when you're over forty.

or if you drink beer to

compensate for your quitting smoke.

Smoke is now chimney vomit.

Cancer is still a threat

but I don't think about it any more
wnenever I see an ashtray
plus now I can sit anywhere

I damn well please in a restaurant.

But God I miss that rush,
the subtle weight on my lip....

the taste of one after dinner or sex.

I guess I'll have to take up running,

get my lip pierced
eat more smoked meat,

and have much more heated sex.

Yeah!! that's the ticket.



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