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Secret Life - A Homophobia Hoe-Down

Updated on May 28, 2012

I wonder what GLAAD would think of this episode?

I never thought I'd see an episode like this on a TV show and I wish I hadn't seen it at all. If I thought it was bad when George was trying to convince Ann she was gay because she and Nora apparently became friends or when he told Kathleen. Or when Grace spread it all around school that Ann was gay. That was nothing compared to this episode. I don't know if you could call this an educational episode on the topic unless the sheer ignorance these characters displayed is considered educational.

Amy thinks everyone is staring at her. I'm thinking she should get over herself. As it turns she's right; everyone is staring at her. She thinks it's about her wedding; I think it's about whether or not she'll actually go through with it. Turns out we're both wrong. Everyone is gossiping that Amy is gay because her mother is gay.

While I'm recovering from that shock, it just keeps getting better. There's a gay gene and Amy obviously inherited from Ann. And it explains why Amy doesn't want to marry Ricky, And the Fourth of July is a gay holiday and that proves she's gay because she picked that day for her wedding.

The only good thing about this mess is some of this crap finally spills back on the person who created this mess to begin with: George. The rumors also claims that George makes women gay. When he finds out he's appalled by that and starts finally spouting the you can't make someone gay.

Anyway, neither Madison or Lauren tell Amy what people are saying about her, so when Ethan comes up to her asking if it's true, she thinks he's talking about her wedding and says of course it's true. It's actually Ben who comes up to her and tells her what everyone is saying about her. It's a very sick episode when Amy is actually the most sympathetic. She heads home and Ricky has a good time teasing her about it, but I agree with her, if someone was saying he was gay because his mother was gay, I don't think he'd be finding it that funny. He claims it wouldn't bother him, but talk is cheap. Let's see how he handles it when he's in the situation.

Adrian and Grace talk about the gay rumor and Adrian admits she's thought about kissing a woman and Grace admits she thought about kissing Adrian and from that moment on Grace is terrified that she's gay. First she tries to get Daniel to have sex with her, but he's back with his ex, Raven, and doesn't want to mess things up. Then Grace asks Adrian to kiss her and she obliges and Grace runs off to her mother's guest house. Finally she makes Jack's dreams come true when she tells him she wants to have sex with him. She also tells him if anyone finds out she and Adrian kissed she'll just die. Get ready to die, Grace.

Adrian is sick of Amy always being the center of attention, so she tells Ben, Henry and Alice that she and Grace kissed. They spread it all over school within minutes. I suppose it's payback for Grace spreading it around that Ann way gay. Now everyone will think she's gay. When Madison hears about the Adrian/Grace kiss she starts looking at Lauren with interest and Lauren tells her to not even go there. Daniel tells Omar what Adrian did and I've got a bad feeling he's going to consider that as Adrian being unfaithful to him.

In other news Alice is still trying to get Henry to agree to be friends with benefits but he just says no. Dylan is still at Ben to switch schools and unfortunately, he just says yes. First, he tries to get Leo to agree to it, who just says no. So Dylan convinces Ben to send in the application, anyway, and to charge the $1200 fee on his credit card. I'm guessing Leo is responsible for paying that card since Ben is a minor, so he's going to find out about it. Of course, Ben doesn't think of that.

Leo has gotten Betty a private dorm room and hired an interior decorator to decorate it for her. Betty think Leo's doing it because he's going to give into Camille's demands to have a kid with her.

Ann and Ashley return home and Ann comes on to George suggesting they go upstairs and have sex, then lets him have it, saying maybe that could happen if he and Kathleen hadn't spread it around that she was gay. You know, maybe Kathleen may be smart not having sex with George, because he looked interested when she made her offer. So Grace's warning to Kathleen a few weeks back about how George always goes back to Ann so she shouldn't get involved with him.

By the way, I heard a nugget I wasn't aware of. George also had sex with Adrian's mother? Is there any mother he hasn't had sex with? Did he also bag Ben's mother and Madison and Lauren's mother? I'm sure he'd have already bagged Nora if she swung that way.

Meanwhile when Ashley hears the Amy is gay rumor she's over the moon. From the comment her friend Griffin made it sounds like Ashley's got a thing for Ricky. You know, as bad as George is, he's actually the best one in his family.

I really don't know what to say about an episode where people are saying our Nation's birthday is a gay holiday and Uncle Sam is gay because he's dressed so flamboyantly. Hello! He's dressed up in the colors of our flag. This is as bad as when Billy Graham or Pat Robertson [can't remember which one it was since I've tried to block it from my mind] was declaring the purple Teletubbie Tinky-Winky was gay because it was purple and purple is a gay color.

I really have no idea where this episode was going with all these bad gay stereotypes, but I think they need to drop this thing. Instead of doing a PSA about teens having sex, they should have done one about how the stereotypes about being gay in this episode wasn't true and was just showing how ignorant people can be on the topic.


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