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Secret Life -- It's Sunday In Valley Glen

Updated on July 25, 2012

It was refreshing actually seeing people attend a church service without it being a wedding or funeral. Shows really don't show people going to church, anymore. Of course, since it's this motley crew, you had to know it was going to be a disaster in the making.

The episode started with Ethan and Kathy out in Margaret's car having their date. Margaret finds them and interrupts them. She basically tells Kathy it's time she goes home, so Kathy texts her grandmother to come and pick her up. Margaret doesn't seem to like Kathy very much. So that was apparently Saturday night.

The next day Ethan escorts Kathy to church. She thought they were going on another date, so when Margaret suggested they go together with Ricky and Amy, she says yes. Considering last week she told Jesus Freak Grace to go to you know where when she tried to get her to go to church, it's debatable if she would have gone if she knew where she was going.

Amy isn't pleased to see George sitting with Kathleen and her family like they're his new family. She's also not happy to see Adrian. Adrian is there with Omar. She gets the little boy in front of them to take their picture like they're at a rock concert or something. She says Omar can show it to the school board to prove he isn't having sex with his students if he's taking them to church. The little boy in front of her is appalled she said the word "sex" in church and Adrian gets stares like she's Satan, herself.

Ben has gotten Henry and Alice to go to church with him. He's also hoping to score points with the school board because of his false accusations against Omar. He also wants to get back together with Dylan. [Me rolling my eyes in disgust.] She threatened him when he was thinking of breaking up with her and lied to the police that he was the one who lit the Bunsten burner, when she's the one who did it. Not to mention he recently declared his love for Amy. This Bonehead truly needs Leo to do his thinking for him for life.

Of course the topper is when Jack comes strutting in with Madison on his arm. Miss Holy Roller asks, "What the hell is she doing here?" And we break for commercial. When they return church is over. Jack came to church with Madison to try and make Grace jealous, in hopes she'll give him sex. Per usual, it backfires on him. Worst yet, Miss Golden Arches Madison also doesn't want to have sex. She just wants a boyfriend.

Jack's father tells him if he wants sex to have it with someone at school, but he says he only wants Grace. His father basically tells him to grow up. Then he goes to Kathleen asking for Grace's hand in marriage. She says no and basically tells him to grow up, as well. Finally, he goes to Grace telling her he's all hers, and he'll stop pressuring her to have sex with him. She thanks God for bringing Jack back to her. But for how long?

George feels bad that he didn't say anything to Amy at church and acted like Kathleen's kids were his new family. He leaves to go see Amy at her apartment and lets himself in and watches the wedding video she's left lying around. He finds out the truth that she's lying about being married.

Meanwhile, in the only time I've ever felt sorry for snotty Amy, she confides in Margaret she doesn't want her mother at her wedding because she's not the mother she grew up with. She's also upset that her father is acting like he has a new family and she feels she no longer has a family. Margaret agrees to call off the wedding plans. Earlier, Amy mentioned there was a video of the wedding to Shakur. Did he find out something when he was out of the room? Because when he returned to see Margaret hugging Amy he looked like he was shooting hate daggers at Miss Amy.

And any sympathy I might have been feeling for Miss Amy got shot to hell when she told Ricky that George wasn't smart enough to come into the apartment, watch the wedding video and then pretend he just arrived. Actually, Amy dear, the one who drags his knuckles on the ground while he walks and makes grunts and groans while scratching himself in public and can't figure out how to peel a banana by himself is you. First the moron tells Shakur about there being a video of their wedding and then she just leaves it laying around. If you want to lie to everyone that you're married don't tell them where they can find the evidence that you're a two-faced liar and destroy the evidence. She didn't even get George was trying to manipulate her into really getting married by asking if she would say I do in front of the mothers to make them happy.

You know, seeings the two bottom feeders he and Anne produced, you can kind of understand why he might want to trade them in for Grace and Tom. Granted, they're not all that much better, but they are better then his current offspring. George goes back to Kathleen for comfort over what he discovered about his not-so darling daughter.

And on the Ethan/Kathy front, Ethan finally kisses Kathy. I really don't care. It just seems like Ben and Amy: The Sequel.

Finally, if you thought we'd finally be freed of Pudding Pop, the Mrs. and their not-so darling offspring, guess again. Pudding Pop doesn't want Dylan to see Ben any longer. Even though last week she told Ben she wanted nothing to do with him, she wants to date Ben again. Also Pudding Pop kept going on about how Ben ratted his little popsicle out to the cops, when she was the one who sold Ben out to the cops. Unfortunately, Mrs. Pudding Pop lets Dylan talk to Ben when he calls up after being told by Leo not to contact Dylan since he didn't want that mess starting up, again. Dylan comes up with the plan that she'll pretend to be dating Henry while Ben pretends to be dating Alice so they can be together.

So Bonehead Ben wants to date the chick that sold him out to the cops. Dimwitted Amy doesn't know her dirty little secret is out of the bag since she thinks she's more clever than anyone else. And Jack claims he'll settle for no-sex with Grace because she's the one. Pretty much status quo.


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