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Secret Life -- You Need A New Attitude

Updated on April 24, 2012

Let's Trash Amy Day

If you thought Amy was going to be a little less bitchy this week after things turned out all right after her pregnancy scare, last week, then you'e watching the wrong show. She was even more bitchy this week. She was in a snit because Ricky had the day off from work and wanted to take Little John to the beach since it was so hot and he wouldn't let her play hookie from school. And she was in a snit because she didn't have any clean laundry and had to wear this hot winter outfit to school. Of course, the irony is while all the other characters were dressed in cool clothes and fanning themselves from the heat, in her hot woolen outfit she didn't even break a sweat or look like she was hot. I guess she was just too bitchy to be hot. You know what, Amy, school doesn't take place 24 hours a day and it isn't held on weekends. You had plenty of time to do some laundry. I know she wants a responsibility-free summer, but expecting Ricky to work, take care of the kid and do the laundry is a bit much, don't you think. He rightfully told her she was selfish. She is, but she's not the only one.

I officially jumped off Team George, this week. Dude is selfish and rather disgusting. He apparently wants ex-wife Ann to be gay so he won't feel bad because she doesn't want to be with him. He also ruins Ricky's planned day at the beach, because he doesn't like the beach and doesn't want to be alone with his son, Robbie. So he gets Ricky to play beach in his living room with the air conditioner turned up high.

Kathleen registers Jacob in summer school, but tries to lie about who he is. Only Jacob won't let her and tells who he really is. While talking with school whatever-she-is Caitlin [aka the annoying middle daughter from 7th Heaven] Kathleen realizes she wants to divorce her current husband and thinks she should have tried to make her marriage work with first husband, George. Well, at least he didn't apparently try to make her think she was gay just because she didn't want to be with him. She ends the day in George's living room playing fake beach with him. That's trouble in the making. It was only a couple of weeks ago Little Amy said she was still mad at Daddy George for having been married to Kathleen before he was married to her mother. She finds out he's playing beach blanket bingo with Kathleen it's really going to hit the fan.

Graceless has a major fit when she learns Jacob will be going to school there. She has a run-in with Adrienne when Adrienne tries to get her to emphasize with Jacob, since she was in the same situation herself. Graceless doesn't want to hear that. She's all you're supposed to be my BFF and talk to the hand, beyotch, if you're on his side. She ditches school to hang out in her underwear because the apartment is sweltering. Then Adrienne gets all up in Jacob's face to prove she's Graceless' BFF and is all like, "Yo, Graceless is my girl and if you mess with her, I'll be all over you like white on rice." While Jacob wasn't impressed by her, and mentally flipped her the bird. It's a good thing Jacob isn't older or I'm sure Adrienne might be tempted to jump his bones, since he's really cute and has a really cute accent.

Jack comes over and when he tries to get her give Jacob a chance, she's all, "Hit the road, Jack." She feels her reputation is destroyed and her father is a perv for having a child with another woman. And I'm like, why does he even want her back. Does he think she'll get any better if he's having sex with her and they're back together? Adrienne gets the same tude when she also tries to once again get Graceless to give Jacob a chance.

Lauren's tired of Amy's Debbie Downer tude and basically calls her on it. She asks if anything will make Amy happy? She was whining about wanting to be engaged and now that she is, she isn't happy. She was whining about being afraid of being pregnant and now she isn't she still isn't happy. Is there anything that will make her happy? She tells Amy that she's bringing her down and she doesn't want to hang with her no more that day. That Amy needs to get a new tude and she's going to go off by herself and get happy. Then Ricky's maybe sort-of brother whose name I don't remember so I'll call him Condom Boy since last we saw him he was stealing condoms walks into the path of Amy doing some whining of his own. Amy tells him he needs a new attitude, but he shoves it right back at her saying she's trying to put her shit on to him. Only he puts it more nicely. He calls it transference.

Lauren's way of getting happy is to talk to her ex-Jesse and to Madison. She tells them both she's not mad at them for what they did, but she doesn't want to have anything to do with them. She's letting them both go. Madison isn't thrilled by this news, because she was hoping to get back together with Lauren as BFFs. She's with Henry and kisses him. This girl is a good slut in the making. After the mess with Jesse she would have slept with Henry if he hadn't put the brakes on and say he just wanted be friends. However, his resolve is weak and he looked like it wouldn't take much to unzip his fly and get naked with her. I'm sorry, but after the mess Madison had from being of easy virtue with Jesse, shouldn't that have been enough to get the girl to keep her legs together?

The King and Pudding Pop have a pow-wow about their kids. Leo thinks they should let their kids make up their own minds because they'll find a way to see each other no matter what they say. Pudding Pop doesn't want his little girl to end up knocked up. I think I'd be more concerned about her dabbling in drugs than getting pregnant. Leo also tells him Dylan showed up at Ben's school pretending to be his cousin so she could spend the day with him. Ben told him. Not sure what The Pop decided, but Leo tells Ben he won't stop him from seeing Dylan, but to be aware he's on his own this time. He's not bailing him out or helping him if he gets in trouble this time.

Betty drops by Leo's and he cowers in his office. I don't know what his problem is. Of the two, Betty is more likable than Leo. I've loved Jennifer Coolidge since Best In Show. She tries to convince Nora she's not too old to go to college, herself, and says maybe they could share a dorm together. All I can say about Leo's tude towards Betty is this, "The jerk doesn't fall far from the three." In short, Ben's such a jerk because he comes naturally by it from his father.

Finally, Ricky shows up at school saying he wants to take her out to dinner, but she doesn't want to go. He tells her he's going to make her happy. When he's out of earshot she declares, "I doubt it." Isn't she lovely. He takes her up to band camp where he knocked her up. He says he understands that she wants to get back everything she missed by getting pregnant and that's why she wants one last carefree summer. That he's been where she is and he eventually let it go. But really, if she keeps this stuff up, how much longer is his patience going to last?

She talks about getting engaged like it was some prize she won. She keeps saying she wants to get married some day. Sorry, you don't become engaged if you don't want to get married. And if she's this unhappy while engaged just how much so will she be if they get married.

I'd also like to put this out. She was dressed warmer than everyone else and she didn't even break out in a sweat or be bothered by the heat. Either she's extremely cold-blooded or she's not human. I'm leaning towards the latter.


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