ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Shhhh! We Don't Talk About That Here. 3 Bar Conversation Taboos.

Updated on August 25, 2017

Ahhhh, a bar, pub, tavern, nightclub and watering hole. These are amazing places for socializing, watching sports and meeting new people, especially those of the opposite sex. Having spent 15 plus years on both sides of the bar there are a few rules that all patrons should abide by. First, the better the tip, the better the service. Second, if you find yourself to always be the one talking, shut up. Third, never, ever, order a Mojito or blended drink if the bartender is busy nor a Bloody Mary after 5 p.m., this makes you a douche. Those are important but they don't begin to compare with the three conversation no-no's. This is for all of you who have recently come of age, those of you who only join us occasionally and those of you who don't pay attention and suffer from verbal diarrhea.

First let's take a brief moment to talk about what is considered an acceptable bar conversation. Should you, Mr. Die Hard Yankee Fan, find yourself sitting next to, Mr. Named His Child Red Sox, and are watching a contest featuring those two teams, then please, by all means engage in a spirited debate over the better team and who's mother is a bigger whore. Should you and your buddy adamantly disagree over who's hotter, Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie, then you are allowed to raise a glass and your voices to debate this socially relevant matter. If you know, with all your heart, that 'Freebird' is the greatest song ever and your conversation mate refuses concede his Justin Bieber's 'Baby' selection, then have at it and, if you can, incorporate fellow bar mates opinions.

These are all acceptable forms of bar dialog. The following three topics are not acceptable because they evoke anger, passion, heated arguments and physical violence and if you try to start one of these conversations, hopefully, a bartender, a regular or someone who just isn't in the mood will shut you down.

Politics. This is highly relevant and important more than ever because political passions and allegiances are so strong. This should be a gimme but every now and then you hear some douche bag spew 'Did you hear what f#%kin (insert your least favorite politician here) said?' The problem is that we're a nation divided but we're also a melting pot, which means we mix, mingle and get along provided our political affiliations are not exposed. This all goes to shit the moment someone crosses that line in a bar because now everyone knows where they stand. Your immediate response is one of comradery or dissension and now the enjoyable rum buzz is killed or fueled. Either way, the brotherhood of us all being people who share a bond of alcohol and socializing is spoiled.

Religion. If you have ever been to a real Irish Pub then this one is a gimme. Before 9/11 it was all a Christianity division (Catholics vs. Protestants) or anti-Semitism. Now there are issues as where to build, or not build, a mosque and people are extremely set in their beliefs. That's awesome, everyone should stand for something or they'll fall for anything (I heard that in a country song somewhere), just don't do it in a place where spirits and personal escapes flow freely. So, Mr. Bible Belt guy, who happens to be kicking it at the Venice Whaler in California (I love that place) the lord doesn't want you to preach your beliefs to the atheists who are chillin with a pitcher or the Jewish table who just shot a round of Cazadores. In a bar we're all drinking the same alcohol, drink and let drink, I say!

Race. Can't we all just get along? I don't remember where I heard that, but it's very appropriate for the third and final conversational taboo. With the immigration debate raging across this country, a place of libation consumption should be excluded from it. This topic no-no also covers the LGBTQ community and their rights, especially here in California, can anyone say prop 8? There is also the category of perceived humor. If you have to look around the room to make sure that potentially offended parties are outside of earshot than you may want to reconsider telling that joke. The bottom line is that we've all gathered together to slightly or extremely damage our livers, brain cells and have a good time. If your bar isn't colorblind to ALL people than your doing yourself a disservice, by frequenting it, and should imbibe elsewhere immediately.

So there you have it! I personally assure you that if you avoid these three buzz kills then you are in for a fun, memorable, or forgettable, that depends on how much you drink, experience. If you see me around your joint, come up and say hi, I'll buy you a drink and tell you why the Los Angeles Dodgers is the greatest team ever! Cheers!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Reiss 

      4 years ago

      If you can't talk about these topics intellegently and in a non confrontational manner anywhere, including a bar, then good luck in life. A bartender will be the ceiling of your career.

    • profile image

      boogie 

      6 years ago

      We also never talk about fight club.

    • Skaditch profile imageAUTHOR

      Skaditch 

      6 years ago from Los Angeles

      Very true Bob! Thanks!!!

    • profile image

      Bob 

      6 years ago

      Your right on. Having been on both sides of the bar myself, Id luke to add alittle. If you have to ask if you tipped enough, you didn't. If you have to ask where everyone is, you obviously weren't invited. And finally, if you argue about being cut off, you really do need it. Waterholes are supposed to fun, at any age, if you cant handle your alchohol, you need to go back to highschool. Much luck and happiness to all!!!7

    • Skaditch profile imageAUTHOR

      Skaditch 

      7 years ago from Los Angeles

      Will do, cheers Dani!

    • profile image

      dani 

      7 years ago

      Check out the Riverfront Times' take on why "Freebird" is a great song! Here's the link below:

      http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/atoz/2011/06/free...

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)