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Sir Paul McCartney Converting to Sir Paul McCart-Me-Jew?

Updated on September 26, 2012
Mazel Tov Sir Paul
Mazel Tov Sir Paul | Source

Paul McCartney is converting from Catholicism to Judaism


Will the third time be the charm? The Star of David charm - to be exact!


Sir Paul McCartney recently married Jewish 'socialite' (synonym of princess) - Nancy Chevell. Apparently, one of his wedding gifts is converting to Judaism!

Hey, JEWED! He's a believer!

He loves JEW, yeah, yeah, yeah!

I Am..
I Am.. | Source


Interestingly, his first wife - Linda Eastman - was a militant vegan - and Sir Paul was quickly 'converted'.

Should we take a collective sigh of relief that he didn't feel the need to cut off his left leg in honor of his second wife - Heather Mills?

OY!

As my gift to Sir Paul and his new(est) whip - I mean wife - and in recognition of his upcoming graduation to Jew-dom - I have taken the liberty of 'converting' some of his most belovedBeatles songs - in the hopes of also pleasing the new Missus!

Mazel Tov
Mazel Tov | Source

Why Not Convert the Songs Too!


  • When I'm 64?
  • When I'm CATHOLIC no more!
  • Got To Get You Into My Life?
  • Got to Get You Into My SYNAGOGUE!
  • I'll Follow The Sun?
  • I'll Follow The TORAH!
  • Baby You Can Drive My Car?
  • But Not On The SABBATH!
  • Can't Buy Me Love?
  • CAN Buy Me Love!
  • Let It Be!
  • Let It Be KOSHER!


Bigger Diamonds
Bigger Diamonds | Source


  • Hello, Goodbye?
  • SHALOM, SHALOM!
  • Eleanor Rigby?
  • Ellie RIGBY-WITZ!
  • Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds?
  • Lucy In The Sky With BIGGER Diamonds!
  • Bad Boy?
  • Bad GOY!
  • P.S. I Love You?
  • P.S. I Love JEW!
  • Please Please Me?
  • Please FEED Me!
  • That's Alright Mama?
  • That's Alright BABA!

Can't Buy Me Lox
Can't Buy Me Lox | Source


  • I've Got A Feeling?
  • I've Got A HEADACHE!
  • Keep Your Hands Off My Baby?
  • Keep Your Hands Off My BAGEL!
  • Johnny Be Good?
  • Johnny Be A MENSCH!
  • Long Tall Sally?
  • Long Tall SHIKSA!
  • Roll Over Beethoven?
  • Roll Over BERTHA!
  • Can't Buy Me Love?
  • Can't Buy Me LOX!
  • Twist And Shout?
  • Twist And KVETCH!
  • Magical Mystery Tour?
  • Magical MITZVAH Tour!

Mazel Tov, Sir Paul
Mazel Tov, Sir Paul | Source


  • A Taste Of Honey?
  • A Taste Of MILK And Honey!
  • Carnival Of Light?
  • FESTIVAL Of Lights!
  • I'm A Loser?
  • I'm A SCHMUCK!
  • Day Tripper?
  • Day TRADER!
  • Dizzy Miss Lizzy?
  • FRIZZY Miss Lizzy!
  • I'll Cry Instead?
  • I'll WHINE Instead!
  • I'm Down?
  • I'm DEPRESSED!

And last but not least:

  • With A Little Help From My Friends?
  • With A Little SCHLEPP From My Friends!

All Highlighted titles link directly to JEWtube - where you can view the original, non-kosher recordings!

Mazel Tov, Sir Paul! I'm sure the queen is thrilled!

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    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 3 years ago

      Why thank you kind sir! Mayhap you should read my book?

      Also...ahem...entertainingxx

    • old albion profile image

      Graham Lee 3 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Well done Leslie. I was smiling all the way through, so well thought out and so entertaining. Tip Top.

      Graham.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @GlennStok: WOW - you pulled this one out of the archives..LOL!

      i haven't seen this one in ages! Thanks for the memories, G!

    • Glenn Stok profile image

      Glenn Stok 4 years ago from Long Island, NY

      Very original idea you came up with. It would be fun to write the entire lyrics with these changes and sing it to the melodies of the songs.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DeborahBrooks: OMG..i do NOT know how this hub...escaped! I'm going to have to have a chat with that Audra..LOL..

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Leslie.. I am still laughing.. You are the best.

      Debbie

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @AudraLeigh: OY VEY! This is such an old one - i'd almost forgotten about it! LOL..

    • profile image

      AudraLeigh 4 years ago

      What a funny, funny read this morning! Loved it! Brilliant!!! I will here the Beatles songs a little bit differently now...lol!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      @DeborahBrooks: He loves her, yeah, yeah, yeah! Then he loves her - yeah, yeah, yeah! Etc...

      LOL

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Leslie this is too funny.. too good!! I don't know how I missed this wonderful hub.. I guess when Paul loves HE LOVES!! .. YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!

      sharing

      DEBBIE

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @AlastarPacker: LOL

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Its tough rhyming on the fly. How about: Back in the Yid Yid Yid U?

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @AlastarPacker: Hmmm...Now that doesn't rhyme very well, now does it Alastar? LOL..(love the 'earlocks across the water' schtick...)

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Alright, I'll add to the festivities. How about: "Uncle Alvah, Admiral Howshea- Earlocks Across the Water? Groooan. Okay, how about this: Sir Paul choose the Powers of the World and thrived; John choose the people and had to die.

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @MazzyBolero: Thanks Mazzy..i hadn't thought of that article for so long - until you mentioned it actually. i re read it also..i used to be so funny before i got...serious...lol

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image

      Mazzy Bolero 5 years ago from the U.K.

      I enjoyed reading the circumcision article. You came up with a lot of ideas I'd never considered, and put it in a very witty and sassy way. It's not a dilemma I'll ever face personally, but I'm still crossing my legs in sympathy just thinking about it)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Mazzybolero: LOL..i love when my sarcastic, bitchy writing is found to be informative as well! lol..ya know, Mazzy - he coulda had 'that op' already...many 'opt' for that 'op'..which reminds me of something i wrote a long time ago..

      http://socyberty.com/issues/circumcision-where-did... I don't normally do this - but - i think you'd genuinely enjoy!!! (laughter is good for the soul..)

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image

      Mazzy Bolero 5 years ago from the U.K.

      This was fun to read, very funny. I didn't even know she was Jewish, let alone that he converted. It must be true love if he was prepared to have that op at his age! I wonder if he'll have to have a Bah-Mitzvah?

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Boy, I was not even aware-so interesting hub on a number of levels!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @d3wi: It makes me happy that you're laughing!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Markbennis: I'm glad you enjoyed, cause i had a blast writing it. i could have gone on and on...and on(can you tell?) lol. Thanks for the compliment, Mark - you're very generous with your praise! Please- come again!

    • profile image

      markbennis 5 years ago

      This was somewhat unexpected but very funny and I think you may have found a familiar patterning with his relationships?

      Hey Sir Paul? If you ever need marriage counselling this is the lady you need to see, she will cut through the famous etiquette and just tell you how it is, accurate of course, that is very important!

    • profile image

      d3wi 5 years ago

      Very intersting hahaha

    • ImKarn23 profile image
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      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      Thanks to all for taking the time to read and response! I've no good excuse - other than i've had a condo full of houseguests for a couple weeks now! I'm back in the hub-groove now - so - Thanks again!

    • Joy56 profile image

      Joy56 5 years ago

      well done i enjoyed that..... this wife sure does look different.. I am married to a Liverpool lad, and they sure do need their women....

    • cathylynn99 profile image

      cathylynn99 5 years ago from northeastern US

      don't overlook that nancy is becoming a vegetarian for him, though she says she'll miss a good steak.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Absolutely hilarious! I wish I would have thought of it. Quite the wicked sense of humor you have young lady!

    • profile image

      martin 5 years ago

      i was here

    • profile image

      Charles Hilton 5 years ago

      To the tune of Norwegian Wood...

      "Isn't it good, Bar Mitzvah Wood."

    • kashmir56 profile image

      Thomas Silvia 5 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi ImKarn thanks for this very entertaining hub i enjoyed reading it !

      Vote up and more !!!

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @pkallen5: omg..a word i'd forgotten, somehow! Let's just say that it has now 're-risen' and made a 'forceful entry' back into my hot vocabulary! Thanks for the support, friend!

      @B.malin: everyone's getting exciting about 'the little prick' (not you paul...just your 'schvantz' LOL)

    • pkallen5 profile image

      pkallen5 5 years ago

      Remember, in order to convert to Judaism McCartney must have a bris. May his foreskin RIP, literally. LOL. Great article. Yes, part-deux is in order! And to the meshuganah mamzer who "cherry picked" this from a so-called friend, I have only one word: Schvantz!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      What a Hoot...So will Sir Paul also have a Bar Mitzah in his Future too? I Love your Humor Imkarn, and I look forward to Following your Hubs!

    • FyrFytr234 profile image

      FyrFytr234 5 years ago

      •I'm A Loser?

      •I'm A SCHMUCK!

      LOL. Oy vey! Hilarious! It's much more funny now that all of them have been collected and posted together. Funny, entertaining, and accurate. Nicely done.

    • profile image

      Breen Bergstrome 5 years ago

      This wouldn't be so funny if it weren't tragic in a way...there is not a person alive who admired their work more than I ..I know all lyrics, musical compositions, bass lines, breathing patterns, background effects..the smallest of details..felt really let down when it was all over...Hey Jew don't let me down...I can laugh uproariously now when Hey Jude used to make me weep.

      I got the last laugh..forever in your debt!!

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma

      Always been a huge fan of his but had no idea he was Catholic. I didn't think he was religious at all, actually. He believes in falling all the way and taking on his wife's beliefs is right up there. At least he doesn't have to give up pork, he already did.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Oy vey that was a great trip down memory lane! I remember being in high school and madly in love with a Jewish boy and I wanted to convert but that was high school. Love your sense of humor. Smiled all the way through.Hey Jew don't let me down... lol, lol, lol

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Lady_E: Me thinks women influence him quite easily..too bad i hadn't met him. LOL i wouldn't make him convert..haha

      @VinayaGhimire: Thank you my friend!

      @Sheilanewton: I'm thrilled you enjoy my sick sense of humor! Personally, Sheila, i think you've got great taste! I was told that Beatles fans may not take kindly to this - I said: Pffffft! Humor makes the world go round - when sex isn't! loveyaxx

    • sheilanewton profile image

      sheilanewton 5 years ago from North Shields, UK

      This is hilarious. I can't stop laughing. Can you see me shaking with mirth as I write this??? brilliant ImKarn - Hey Jew-ed indeed! You are a wit, ImKarn.

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      Quite an interesting read.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      Wow... interesting Hub. I wonder if it's an influence from his new wife. Anyway, whatever makes him happy.

      That is a cute, young Paul McCartney in your Hub. :)

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @CMerritt: Love it! Helter Schmelter! I may have to write Part II...

      @BreenBergstrome: Wow! You said it (outloud) LOL. Brave girl! My kind of peeples! And yeah, yeah, yeah - our own SIR! Cha-larious!

    • profile image

      Jessica 5 years ago

      That was good! Some of those titles made me howl.

    • profile image

      Breen Bergstrome 5 years ago

      Great hub had me laughing all the way. Sir Paul became a huge pain way back after the Beatles broke up. What an ass he became...used to thrill me to listen to the music of theBeatles...since Yoko I lost interest in them all...but Paul was the biggest blowoff.

      I'll keep the list in mind and see if I can add some new titles...helter shmelter, what a guy...our very own "Sir"..this hub is a true and meaningful tribute to an old bug who feels we should all still admire him...no offence to bugs in general...

    • profile image

      Charles Hilton 5 years ago

      In keeping with my earlier theme...

      "HASENE, HASENE, HASENE, HASENE, HASENE, chameleon,

      You come and go, you come and go."

      :P

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      Okay how about...

      Yom Kippur’s Lonely Hearts Club Band...

      Can’t buy me pork...

      Helter Schmelter...

      Lady Golda Mier...

      Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Rabbi..

      ImKarn23...this was a fun hub...Up and awesome.

      Chris

    • profile image

      girishpuri 5 years ago

      very interesting share

    • Wrath Warbone profile image

      Terry Chestnutt 5 years ago from Cleveland, Ohio

      He likes the wide assortment box. One of these, and one of these and, no, one of these. I expect to see him at Einstein Brother's Bagels real soon. They have hundreds of ways to make a bagel. Thanks because I hadn't heard about this one until today. And she doesn't have a penny to her name. Penny Lane.

    • profile image

      Ray 5 years ago

      Witty !...Bet the Beatles fans are going to love this one ...LOL

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      C'mon, all you smarty-pants! Tell me what I missed! Dare ya...

    • ImKarn23 profile image
      Author

      Karen Silverman 5 years ago

      @Charles Hilton: Lol..Glad you enjoyed! L'chaim!

      @Marqionz: Appreciate you coming by! And - I LOVE the name! - Way better than mine...I may change it..lol

      @Pagesvoice: LOL..clearly - i missed some great lines! Thanks, D, as always!

    • pagesvoice profile image

      Dennis L. Page 5 years ago from New York/Pennsylvania border

      Voted up and funny. Now Sir McCarthystien can open up a national retail chain of lox and bagel shops/deli shops specializing in corned beef, smoked herring, ruebens, schnitzel, pastrami, latkes, babka and yadda, yadda, yadda. Is Sir Paul still too old to go to Israel and do his 2 years of military service? If so he could join the Israeli Navy and sing "We all live in a yellow submarine."

    • marqjonz profile image

      marqjonz 5 years ago from Atlanta

      I think he'll go for Paul Ben-Cartney.

      You're not related to Sarah Silverman, are you?

    • profile image

      Charles Hilton 5 years ago

      Oy vey, the man is a nuptial chameleon. lol

      Fun hub and I love your idea for the songs.

      Thumbs up!