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Ian: Smartest Player in Big Brother History?

Updated on September 27, 2012
A Threat? Absolutely Not!
A Threat? Absolutely Not!

Ian As The Unassuming Nerd Of The House

Over the last three seasons of CBS's hit reality show Big Brother, which confines contestants to a house and forces them to compete not only in physical competitions but in social situations, there have been major fan favorites and villains. Big Brother has been airing for fourteen seasons but I have only been a fan for the past three.

I was introduced to the show two summers ago and had to admit it caught my attention. Not the typical drunk, hook-up reality show that has become the trashy prototype for MTV and VH1 (Both train wrecks in their own right.) or the drama induced and conflict fabricated junk that is the Unreal Housewives of Whichever City It Is This Time or the Kardashians. Big Brother is just good old family reality television fun, which as I grow older has grabbed more of my attention.

That summer I had my own fan favorites: Britney and Enzo, in particular. The whole idea of a group of contestants crammed into a house, whispering in closets about a multitude of alliances each is trying to make while constant backstabbing and forced smiling comes in spades made me wonder how I would handle the game.

Would I fill the role in the house of the guy everyone likes so stays safe until big decisions have to be made? Would i lay low and be one of the floaters that inevitably makes it to the final five? Or would I let my natural god given athleticism take control and just simply win challenges and run the house how I see fit?

The script has been basically the same over the three seasons I have watched. These roles are filled by random contestants each year and the results are basically the same. Last seasons twist, which brought past contestants back to compete against newbies, did bother me because it seemed gimmicky but this seasons twist of having past seasons players return in a coaching aspect didn't particularly bother me. Perhaps it was because I have no idea who Mike Boogie, Dan or Janelle are or perhaps it is because I enjoy the very cute Britney returning to the house. Whenever they want to put Britney in tight workout gear and compete in a grinding competition is absolutely fine with me. CBS take notes here.

Despite the coaches returning I knew I was going to like this season based off one contestant from the get go: Ian. Yes, that is right, Ian. Everybody loves an underdog story and let's be honest, this kid probably weighs one hundred and thirty pounds soaking wet and has the social skills of a sloth. Skinny nerd who lacks social skills equals a quit out in the world of Big Brother.

However, Ian's tales from the start about how he has been a Big Brother fan since he was in grade school and is a history buff on all things BB put him in my good graces right away.

"I'll root for that guy, I guess," I told my girlfriend the first night. I needed to pick the winner this year as she picked Rachel the previous season and I haven't heard the annoying end of it yet.

Ian's perverted side had me screaming at him through my television the first week. I tried to send him telepathic messages of: Hey bro, you can't camp out in the bathroom trying to get a peak of some side-boob as the girls exit the shower! I thought my pick was going to have a very short life inside the house, apparently everyone else did as well. The confessionals saw the girls complaining about his creep status and I thought all was lost.

Slowly but surely, my man in the Tulane shirt turned things around though. Maybe it was through his naked streaking around the house to lighten the mood, which could've been seen as a creepy man in a trenchcoat move, or his blossoming showmance with the blonde in a dunce cap, Ashley. He somehow ditched the creepy facade and became the mascot of the house. He smartly let himself be the joke of the cast, dressing up as a dog and consistently volunteering to eat the slop, and this led to the rest of the competition wrongly labeling him as a non-threat.

Oh Ian, how I cheered all your genius moves. I saw the wheels turning and knew something was being set in motion. Although, admittedly, I had no idea how big you would dream. We should've all realized when you said if there was to be a Big Brother Good versus Evil show you would be on the evil team because you are, in your own words, "Not a good person..."

Big Brother's Clark Kent? Lose the Glasses and Gain Super BB Powers!
Big Brother's Clark Kent? Lose the Glasses and Gain Super BB Powers!

Ian As The Cunning Mastermind Of The House

Somewhere along the line, my guess is once Ian's crush, Ashley, decided to use her lips to say in the house, Ian set his plan in motion. He took an opportunity given to him by the perceived mastermind of the house, Boogie, and exploited it to his own ultimate advantage.

The power players in the house had set up two alliances, both unoriginally named, The Silent Six and The Quack Pack. Ian, who Boogie didn't question for a second, enrolled in the Quack Pack and ran with it. He took all the information freely given up to him by Boogie and Frank and waited for his opportunity.

As Boogie jokingly said he should evict Britney given an opportunity, Ian saw his chance to knock out the most dangerous player in the game and take his place. He went to Britney and played it off to perfection, implanting the idea into her head better than even Leo DiCaprio could do if Inception was real.

The plan worked down the line from player to player until the inevitable nomination of Boogie to be evicted. Even as the week progressed, Boogie continued to give information to my man, Ian, because this little kid could never be an actual threat.

The outcome? The most seasoned, experienced player in the house got sent home. That's right, Boogie was evicted and even after he didn't seem to realize it had been our unassuming nerd who voted against him.

The best twist of all was Ian going straight up to the much bigger Boogie and saying, "You are going to see some things you don't like... Get to stepping!"

Oh my god! He used Boogie's own line on him as he threw him from the game. Perhaps the best thing I've ever seen in my short viewing of this family oriented reality show. I fist pumped to no end at the bravado of this young engineer who had the guts to go after the head honcho in the game.

Boogie walked out of the house in reasonably upset and confused. The video started and Ian explained to Mike Boogie how he had watched his season when he was ten years old and admired his game. He molded his own game after Boogie's and when it came time, he unleashed it on him and booted him from the house.

Boogie's face was the best, complete shock with a little respect sprinkled in. In that moment, I had to give it up for the kid too. My respect level raised exceedingly, realizing that he has been planning this game step by step from the start and probably still has wheels he has yet to set in motion.

His next task, boot the super athletic Frank in much the same fashion as his former coach. Frank seems to be gunning for the kid now but if he can overcome this next giant hurdle, I see no end in sight. The rest of the house doesn't seem to have put the pieces together and realize how smart Ian truly is.

If he can continue staying under the radar while letting the powerhouses battle each other and pick his moments to make big moves, maybe it will be my year to remind my girlfriend how I picked the winner at every chance I get.

In Ian I trust, my all time BB favorite!


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    • deealvar profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Indianapolis

      Ian wins!!!! So happy for him to beat that scumbag Dan! Way to go Ian! Quack Quack

    • denisemai profile image

      Denise Mai 

      6 years ago from Idaho

      Okay. Confession time. I have watched Big Brother since season 1 when America was able to vote people out. That was the year of Chicken George and his wife's massive campaign to keep him in the house. I'm pulling for Ian and can't wait to see what happens at the veto ceremony tonight.

      Nice to see a fellow fan. Welcome to hubpages!


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