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Some Choice Insults

Updated on June 13, 2009

Some Insults You Wish You Dared to Say Out Loud!

I claim no originality of this hub: the list of 52 insults was emailed to me by a well meaning relative, and just had to include this link : http://www.cracked.com/article_16275_9-most-devastating-insults-from-around-world.html to share some of the most random and most arbitrary of insults from around the world.

Enjoy, and try not to let the insults put you in a situation where the result is maiming or disfigurement resulting from a mild difference of opinion:

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the f ***-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a shit.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a f****** people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need.
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
45. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.
46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
47. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.
48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
50. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.
51. Don't believe everything you think.
52. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.

Comments

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    • ptosis profile image

      ptosis 5 years ago from Arizona

      Go here for Ultimate Insult (Academic Decathlon) @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0&fea...

      "What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points,and may God have mercy on your soul."

    • Reena Daruwalla profile image
      Author

      Reena Daruwalla 9 years ago from INDIA

      Alas! I know exactly what you mean!

    • cashmere profile image

      cashmere 9 years ago from India

      Now I want some one to use these on. Unfortunately I know half the crowd here won't get it at all! :)

    • Reena Daruwalla profile image
      Author

      Reena Daruwalla 9 years ago from INDIA

      Thanks bala, I do believe that an insult should have some finesse as well.

    • bala99 profile image

      Bala Subrahmanyam Vishnubhotla 9 years ago from Hyderabad, Telangana, India.

      The will to insult is intoxicating. You have a fan

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