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Sony hacking

Updated on December 22, 2014
North Korea's flag
North Korea's flag | Source

That's right. North Korea is showing it's fangs. I don't know why North Korea does that. It doesn't have any fangs let alone teeth. Sure, it has one of the largest militaries on Earth, but I should like to take the time to say to you, dear reader, that all or most of their hardware is severely obsolete. They're still using old, Soviet-era Katyusha rocket launcher derivatives and World War One biplanes to carry out attacks, for crying out loud. What good's that gonna do? Sure, it'll tickle but it won't hurt. Although, I will admit that they have 40 formidable MiG-29's. Still, 40 compared to several hundred that the South alone wields. And, mind you, South Korea has the McDonnell Douglas F-15 Eagle or Strike Eagle. F-15's have an air-to-air combat ratio of 150 to 0. That's right, dear reader. The F-15 has killed or downed 150 enemy aircraft without suffering a single loss. The Eagle is, in fact, so unbelievably resilient and extremely durable that there was one report in 1983 where an Israeli pilot had his starboard (right) wing shot off by a Douglas A-4 Skyhawk but still managed to return to base 10 miles away and land it safely.

They still use World War Two diesel-powered ships with no digitalization of any kind. That means every single weapon on board those ships has neither the capability to see super sonic threats let alone shoot them down. And none of the guns are radar-guided or infrared-guided. I mean, in a recent declassified combat training exercise video conducted by the North, their best ships were using the turret of a Soviet-era T-34 tank. Oh, and their best anti-air defense is a twin naval-mounted, manually-cranked Bofors 40mm cannon. That's right, ladies and gents. North Korea boasts a massively large obsolete military.

Pokpung-ho, North Korea's best tank.
Pokpung-ho, North Korea's best tank. | Source

Although, I will admit that their newest contraption, the Pokpung-ho, is almost as good as state of the art; it comes close. However, it falls short on a few things. North Korea says that it's made of Composite material. I cannot believe that. Not one bit. The reason is because Composite armoring is such a closely guarded secret that even after 40 years, no one knows how to bond the ceramic, steel, kevlar and all other classified components together into a smooth surface. Yes, it's got laser-range-finders and night vision and thermal imaging. But how much range is the laser range finder capable of? And how far can the night vision and thermal imaging detect the target? In 1991, the T-72 Lion of Babylon tanks used by Iraq also had laser range finders, night vision and thermal imaging. But so did the American M1A2 Abrams tanks and they had 3 times more range than their Iraqi counterparts. Another reason I doubt the Pokpung-ho is how reliable is their hardware? Is it really combat ready against anything that Europe or the United States has to offer? Can it really go toe-to-toe, one-on-one and mano-a-mano with The American Abrams, German Leopards, British Challengers, Italian Ariete and the French Leclerc? I'd like to see that semi-sophisticated Northern contraption try, though. It would be most marvelous fun to watch.

Why bother, North?

Another thing is their Air Force. It's joked slogan could be colloquially mistaken for "All air, no force." I mean, it's only got 40 MiG-29's, for crying out loud. Sure, they pack a punch, but 40 is just a number. If North Korea is very careful with maintenance, they probably couldn't afford the parts and have only 10 or so because the rest were cannibalized for spare parts. You must understand that North Korea as an economy so infinitesimal and minuscule, you wonder why they have an economy and an even bigger mystery is how they made it in the first place.

The airplanes that the North uses are so technologically behind that stuffed toys for little girls and babies today contain more electronics than those flying hum-drums of the past. Yes, they're weaponized. Yes, they're combat capable. Yes, they can hit a target. But I'm afraid that the speed is so slow, the target would have heard it coming and ran away before the plane had a chance to even sight the guns or rockets. The rockets alone can't kill a tank let alone a Humvee. I mean, shit, the rockets have no guidance whatsoever that they simply shoot out the launcher and hit anything but the intended target. I've seen other declassified videos where an entire rocket barrage didn't scratch the intended target. Sure, it hit, but didn't scratch off the paint.

Their helicopters, though, are respectable. Yes, the civilian and military market uses them. They're MH-6 Little Birds, for God's sake. Choppers with avionics similar to the MH-60 Black Hawk. That's highly advanced technology, by the way. State of the art (although, being imported to North Korea, the importers must have had the presence of mind to remove the advanced avionics and replace it with old fashioned avionics).

A real Ladies Man
A real Ladies Man | Source
In office
Kim Il-sung
15 April 1912
9 Sept. 1948 - 8 July 1994
8 July 1994
Kim Jong-il
16 February 1941
8 July 1994 – 17 Dec. 2011
17 December 2011
Kim Jong-un
8 January 1983
17 December 2011- Present

Their equipment is laughable, though. They still have vintage 50's camouflage and the rifles... Dear heavens. I bet you couldn't hit an elephant at 10 meters with it. The rifling groves inside the barrel must have melted away. Though, given enough steel PVC or kitchen pipes, and proper tools, you could create makeshift rifle barrels.

By the way, do you know how many calories are ingested by North Korean soldiers? Approximately 500. Whilst the South Korean soldier takes approximately 3,000. North Korea starves its own troops. Very caring, indeed. The average North height is 140cm, meaning malnourished combat incompetent troops. South has 170cm, meaning healthy, combat ready troops.

Although, I'd like to congratulate the North on adopting and keeping the Goose Step marching pattern. If you've seen the documentary The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich, you'll see Nazi German troops goose stepping in parades. Another example is Moscow's Red Square. There are guards that march every day in goose step. And if you've got an entire division marching that way, the sound is just phenomenal! I can't really put it in to words, but the best I can describe it is a giant human train.

They comin'!
They comin'! | Source

So why am I talking so much about North Korea's military? I knew you would ask me that, dear reader. That's because I want you to know that before you think North Korea is so tough, think again. They have strength in numbers. Not equipment. Not hardware. Not technology. North Korea claims it didn't hack Sony, but the National Security Agency and the Central Intelligence Agency and other intelligence agencies traced the hackers to North Korea.

North Korea is threatening the United States with acts of terrorism, but they can't even attack South Korea without losing half their forces. And if they can't do that, how in the name of all that's Holy does the North expect to fight the States with terrorism? It's nothing but empty threats. And North Korea has a long history of throwing empty threats to any nation that it thinks is against their regime. Although, I'm surprised that the U.S. is asking China to help them with the North. Maybe it has something to do with China being North Korea's sole ally and that China has some influence?

If I was the President and CEO of Sony, I'd tell North Korea to shove it and bring it on. "I will not let a dictator of a foreign state deter me or anyone the right to the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. The right to free speech". What North Korea did was a breach of privacy. I say, hack them and steal their privacy. Shoot them in the belly. Spill their blood. Make them cry for mercy. That way, we're square.


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