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Star Wars: The Force Awakens--Horribly written, with enough plot holes to fly a Star Destroyer through

Updated on December 31, 2015

The First Order on Starkiller Base

Impressive Army of The First Order
Impressive Army of The First Order | Source

I have a bad feeling about this...

I've been a fan of Star Wars before it was cool to be a "nerd." When I was in high school (the late 1980's) I would often quote lines from the original trilogy, much to the chagrin of the girls to which I would quote those lines. Nowadays, that would be considered "cool." But before I go to some high school and start quoting Star Wars to some young girls, I have to get this off my chest: THE FORCE AWAKENS WAS NOT ALL IT WAS HYPED UP TO BE!

After the stinking mess which was Episodes I-III, I was looking forward to a new, fresh start: an awakening, if you will. There's no denying George Lucas did some stupid shit: Jar-Jar, Mediclorians, casting Hayden Christensen, et al. I thought Disney would learn from these mistakes, and Episode VII would be all it was hyped up to be. I was wrong...

"Non-Spoiler" Mistakes

Here's some things that either complicate the plot or just don't make sense in Episode VII. (Don't worry, I'm not going to give anything away that hasn't already been mentioned in countless promotions and/or interviews, or that is so minor to the plot it won't give away anything or ruin your first viewing of The Force Awakens.)

1) General Leia Organa is a General for the Resistance. But wait, there is a "New Republic" which was brought into existence after the events in Ep. VI. Return of the Jedi (ROTJ). So, who or what is "the Resistance"...well, resisting,exactly? The First Order would actually be "the Resistance," because they resist the New Republic and want to destroy it! The New Republic would be the dominant government, and the First Order would be the resisting guerrilla Army. My guess is Ol' J.J. (Abrams) wanted something to sound "cool" and derivative of "the Rebel Alliance." He just didn't think about it any further.

2) Rey knows the Millennium Falcon better than Han. During their trip together, Rey tells Han how to fix THE SHIP HE HAS OWNED FOR 15+ YEARS! Yes, I realize he wasn't in possession of it the whole time (I don't want to spoil it!) but he owned the 'Falcon for about 15 years throughout Episodes III-VI. Even if you assume he "lost" the 'Falcon right after episode VI:ROTJ, that's still about 15 years he's owned AND REPAIRED the 'Falcon, and she's on it a couple hours and knows more about it.

3) Chewbacca's Wookie Bowcaster just became A LOT more powerful! In Episodes III-VI, his Bowcaster seems about as powerful as a blaster rifle. Now, it causes "knockback" of 10+ feet. Also, Han starts "borrowing" Chewy's weapon. WHY???

Errors, Omissions and Ruining Characters (SPOILERS)

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN EPISODE VII:THE FORCE AWAKENS AND YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF THE MOVIE "GIVEN AWAY," PLEASE READ NO FURTHER! **SPOILERS AHEAD!**

Okay, the stuff written above may seem like I'm being petty or I'm splitting hairs. I concede to you that if the items listed above were the ONLY errors in this movie, it could have still been a pretty awesome movie. But wait...

...there's more:

4) The Starkiller base can destroy whole systems! It's like a frickin' multitasking Death Star! But in order to "charge," it has to siphon off energy from a star until the star is completely spent of all energy and the star disappears. (Actually, when the weapon is first fired, it wasn't shown "charging up" by destroying a star...hmm, maybe Starkiller Base is like my favorite bar, "The first shot is free!") They really didn't mention it, but I am assuming this base/planet moves through space. It needs a fresh star to charge, right?

There is SO MUCH wrong with this one! The base is essentially a converted planet. On the surface of this base/planet, they show snow and trees and mountains, etc. The final melee (lightsaber) battle occurs on the surface. So, if this planet eats stars and moves through space, WHAT IS SUSTAINING LIFE ON THE SURFACE OF THIS PLANET??? Once the (original) first star is destroyed, there would be nothing sustaining life. There would also not be any weather systems on the planet to make snow. And during the final battle, Rey and Kylo fight until the sun is completely obliterated! If you don't know what's wrong with that, allow me to explain: once the base drained even ten percent (10%) of a star's power, the surface of the planet would have become too cold to support human and plant life. And they battle with their lightsabers past ten percent (10%), twenty percent (20%), and so on, even past ninety percent (90%), all the way up to one hundred percent (100%). If they thought that snow covered forest was cold before...

Now you say, "But wait! They mentioned some sort of shield! THAT is what is keeping the atmosphere in and sustaining life!" That would be a cool explanation, IF THEY WOULD HAVE JUST PUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN THE SCRIPT! And, if you remember, the shield was down when the Resistance went in with their X-Wings for the assault!

Lastly, why do you even need to FIRE this weapon? If you pull up next to a sun in a system you want to destroy and drain the star, you've eliminated that system! It becomes a cold, barren system immediately. Also, the planets have nothing to orbit around, no massive ball of gravity to hold them in orbit! Maybe the cautious thing to do at that point would be to destroy the planets, so you don't have a crap-load of nomad planets flinging through the galaxy!

Okay, LAST WARNING! THERE IS A SUPER-ULTRA-HYPER SPOILER AHEAD! TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!!!!!

**SPOILERS**

5) Han Solo is now a scumbag...wait, a DEAD scumbag! When watching Episodes IV-VI, you find out Han is a smuggler. He owes A LOT of credits to the Hutt crime boss, Jabba. But you later discover that Han, albeit a smuggler, has a heart of gold. The reason he owes all those credits is because he had to dump his illegal cargo before he was inspected by the Imperial equivalent to Customs. He didn't swindle or steal the credits, nor did he make any bad deals. You come to suspect Han has a code of honor, even if his profession is not entirely legal.

Well, you can forget that! Ol' J.J. and Disney make Han out to be a thief. He makes the same deal with two different parties, and these parties confront Han about it! And, during this discussion, we find out Han has "swindled" one of these "customers" before! Where did Han's sense of honor go?

During the ensuing chaos in this encounter (where these two groups confront Han and the situation escalates) how are we supposed to feel sympathetic to Han's situation? HE STOLE FROM THESE PEOPLE! HAN NO LONGER HAS THE HIGH MORAL GROUND!

And then, a little later, they kill Han off.

Maybe this is also splitting hairs, but the scene where they kill off Han...well, it just sucked! A beloved, major character like that should have sacrificed himself taking out a Death Star or something dramatic and heroic! Yes, he was on a mission to cripple the Starkiller Base's shield, and that is heroic. But his death should have been...I don't know..."greater" somehow! And that stupid, overused meme, where a character is killed by someone they love, and in their final moments, they caress their killer's face...stupid. It's not appropriate for Star Wars, overused in general, and needs to be retired!

6) Lightsabers are DANGEROUS! (Okay, this one is just a pet peeve of mine, but let me explain!) In EVERY EPISODE OF STAR WARS, EPISODES I-VI, WHEN A LIGHTSABER IS USED, A BODY PART IS SEVERED AND/OR SOMEONE IS CUT IN HALF! But not Episode VII: The Force Awakens. A bunch of non-Jedi, non-force trained characters are swinging lightsabers, not injuring themselves or others! Yes, there are scenes where lightsabers are used, AND PEOPLE ARE KILLED, but it's almost "G"-rated violence. Either lightsabers have weakened, or Disney wanted a "kid friendly" rating.

They ruined Han! *SOB*

Why did they have to mess with Han???
Why did they have to mess with Han??? | Source

Are there more mistakes?

Yes, there are things wrong with this movie which make it a sub-par movie in general, and a bad Star Wars movie in particular. But I think it's just my personal preference. For example, Kylo isn't a great villain. He's not even a good villain. (I'm not bashing Adam Driver. I thought he did fine as Kylo!) When Darth Vader got angry, there was a collapsed trachea and someone died! Kylo just throws a fit and destroys equipment with his lightsaber, like an infant. I think Kylo could have been written better. In my opinion, anything good in this movie was plagiarized from Episodes IV-VI.

If I missed anything, please feel free to point it out in the comments. Please remember to be civil! :-)

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    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 23 months ago

      Yep, yes, and double yes. It was a disappointment, especially when they killed off Hans, my favorite character.

    • profile image

      IvanGC 23 months ago

      I agree with you in some points (the 'blurriness' in the whole Resistance-New Republic, the entire weapon-planet thing being flimsy at best... But hey, if you 'accept' they could create a star-draining, space-travelling planet... would you be worried for REAL physics to ruin the ecosystem in its surface? C'mon, it's a movie...).

      About Solo, are we still talking about the guy who shot Greedo first, in his very first scene in the saga? Han is of course a good guy, but he was always walking the line, in a sense.

    • profile image

      allykat 23 months ago

      I totally agree with you!! the whole freaking core of the original trilogy is that light will overcome dark and it did. Until JJ Abrams decides that nope our heros haven't suffered enough and went and screwed up all of theirs lives. Thanks JJ.

      (I don't know if I will ever recover from not getting one last: "I love you" "I Know")

    • profile image

      RandomGuy 23 months ago

      Heh, I got the " Bad Feeling " just before entering the cinema. I rly disappointed by this film. Just like said, SW is " reShoeFpetitive " and copying SW VIVmean, Droid with important stuff , force-sensitive person, a huge-ass planet that can shoot super powerful LAZER , and in the end ( Well you know ) . I mean like, rly J.J you could've done better!

    • profile image

      JMC 23 months ago

      Didn't they go to alot of trouble to create clone soldiers before? So why is the Empire, First Federal Credit Union or whatever its called, going around abducting/conscripting soldiers? That's like the worst way to build an army. And I should know.

    • Oztinato profile image

      Oztinato 23 months ago from Australia

      I agree with this Hub.

      The movie was boring, repetitive and a mish mash. Another droid with another message. Another bar scene with a band. Bizarre connections with relatives etc etc. Must have been written by a bunch of CEO suits.

      It was all a way of introducing a new generation of under tens to the McStar Wars franchise. Kids don't need a coherent plot.

      What a hugely embarrassing film. Cringe factor of 10 out of 10.

    • Freeway Flyer profile image

      Paul Swendson 23 months ago

      My biggest problem with the movie was that it was unoriginal. We have another Death Star, another child of a Skywalker who turns to the Dark Side, another person from a desert planet who is strong with the force and thrust into being a hero, another mutant evil emperor, etc. And how did this new empire just come into being anyway. I thought that the good guys won in Return of the Jedi, although they never said at the end of that movie what was going to come next.

    • Travis W Wood profile image

      Travis Wood 23 months ago from Woodstock, Georgia

      Mayhap your title and some sub-headings are a bit sensational, but at the core of it I do agree with some of your main points. I completely agree with the renaming of 'The Resistance' and 'The First Order.' A resistance would be fighting the current government, not a leftover sect of a previous government entity.

      The atmosphere of the planet that Starkiller was based on seemed impossible, as did nearly everything else about the superweapon. However, when the shield that created an atmosphere was destroyed, that doesn't mean there should be an immediate calamity effect on the rest of the station. That would take some time. Even if the Starkiller base wasn't destroyed, the planet without an atmosphere would eventually become desolate and likely inoperable if not fixed in time.

      I hadn't realized that about the Lightsaber in the films. Every film, someone is dismembered in some way. Kylo Ren and Finn were cut up pretty bad to be sure, but aside from two individuals being impaled on the weapon, everyone remained in one piece.

      You've gotta remember that Kylo Ren, while also struggling between light and dark as younger Anakin was, still hasn't completed his training as Vader had. He hasn't finished becoming what he's on the path to be.

      I don't know if Han became less 'moral.' In the first trilogy, he was in debt to Jabba and planned on paying him back but caught up in the Rebellion. In this film, he was in debt for his supplies in hunting those squid-like creatures, but he was in the process of transferring them to his buyer in order to make his profit and pay off his debt. We're only told Han swindled other people by the established bad guys, who probably shouldn't be considered overly truthful.

      Finally, Rey should definitely know how to fix up Han's ship. We're shown she's incredibly tech-savvy and seems to already know a lot about the Millennium Falcon. In addition, with her intuition with the Force, it only makes sense that she knows more about the Falcon than Han (who apparently thought it couldn't be tracked in Episode 4).

      Otherwise, I really enjoyed reading your review!

    • profile image

      Angelo Ciulla 23 months ago

      Well said. I felt it was Star Warsy, but sub par at best.

    • Jonas Rodrigo profile image

      Jonas Rodrigo 23 months ago

      Interesting insight, ShoeFlor. Personally I think the whole Star Wars fandom is a bit overreacting on this whole thing.