Stupid Criminals - How to NOT Rob a Restaurant
Caught on Tape!
Crime doesn't pay, especially if you are doing it wrong.
If you are a lawyer, politician or a security guard it does pay. If you want to commit crime though, you have to operate in the shades of gray, you know? You can't just rip people off in the light of day and expect to earn a living. You have to be sneaky or find a loop hole so you can make it nice and legal like.
Take the robber this morning at my friend's Chinese take out restaurant in the area of Goodfellow Boulevard and I-70. This video illustrates exactly how you should NOT attempt to rob a restaurant.
Crime School 101 - How to NOT rob a restaurant.
Protect Your Assets!
- Robbery is probably easier to get away with if it's dark outside.
- Don't dress like a ninja in broad daylight.
- Restaurants are probably not a very profitable place to rob. They deposit all funds into their bank each night after they close. They do not leave cash registers full of money.
- Restaurants have food supplies so it isn't really merchandise that can be resold for profit. What was this guy thinking? I just gotta have a crab rangoon at 8:00 a.m.?
- If cars are driving past you, there are people in them, usually, and they can see what you are doing! Some of them even have cellular devices that allow them to report your dumb ass to the local St. Louis P.D.
- If there is a camera it is probably recording what you are doing. Yes, you can cut the wires but devices that record are kind of like bells. Once you ring them...they can't be unrung. All that stuff you did up to the point of the cutting the cable is still there. In this instance there were four cameras recording. One of the other cameras has the moment where this guy realized he was on T.V. and the star of the show no less! What does he do? He breaks the monitor.
- Attention all criminals! Security cameras can and do record to devices that are located OUTSIDE of the building. That means that you can't get your thieving hands on it and you can't erase it.
- Don't rob an establishment that is located amid Federal buildings. Government facilities of any kind are typically monitored 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Jail or College?
Unfortunately, many people learn the hard way that crime doesn't pay unless you are on the prosecuting team. For instance, this guy. It took him about 7 minutes to figure out how to break though wrought iron bars and Plexiglas. He did accomplish that goal. However, he was in jail by 9 a.m. and will now have many years to contemplate how well spent those seven minutes were.
He got away with about 40 bucks in silver dollars and some change. He was caught within an hour so he probably didn't get to spend it all either. By the time this guy gets out of jail, he could have had three college degrees, an SUV complete with a wife, 2.5 kids and a dog. He could have been a lawyer, politician or a ....
"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity." ~Hunter S. Thompson