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If You're Having a Bad Day, Please Don't Do It At The Grocery Store!
For those of us who haven’t figured out how to live an entirely self-sustainable life, trips to the grocery store are inevitable. Whether it is a quick stop; in and out or an all-out "Mama's gotta stock the cupboards" kind of trip, it can be a frustrating experience. It doesn't seem to matter how long I've been going to the grocery stores, the same behavior seems to exist. I have some ideas on what we could do or should do to make shopping a little more enjoyable.
If all else fails...
Sure, most of us probably don’t want to walk a half a mile to get in and out of the grocery store, I mean after all, think about all the calories that we already have to burn while we’re shopping. However, I also think that it is a little unnecessary to circle the parking lot 15 times, thinking you might have just spotted a free space become available, only to rush to that row in time to find someone else beat you there. But no, you won’t give up you’re a persistent little parker, you’ll circle the parking lot for another few minutes determined to get that “I guess this’ll have to do” parking spot. In the meantime, children are being shielded by parents in the parking lot, old people with canes and walkers are stutter-stepping, unsure if it is safe to cross and you’ve wasted 15 minutes in the parking lot that could have been used in the store. My suggestion: Pick a row that is suitable to the side of the store you are looking to gain entrance, drive up the row from the face of the store and simply take the first space available. Who cares if it is 15 parking spaces away from the door, you’ll find your way in, I’m sure.
Choosing a shopping cart shouldn’t have to be a selection process. I’m sure we’ve all experienced the shopping cart with the wobbly wheel, or the poorly aligned cart that pulls on one side, or the cart that has a discrepancy on a wheel so it makes a cute little noise that notifies shoppers you are coming their way. If we even bother to take the time to find that “right cart” we usually get no further than 10 steps away to realize that we actually didn’t find the perfect cart, forget it! There really isn’t any point in trying to find a good cart because they rarely exist and it will more than likely waste time trying and you’ve already lost so much of it in the parking lot. Personally, I think shopping carts need to be redesigned. New carts should include bigger wheels like the kind on a baby stroller. The carts should also not be made of metal as they tend to get rusty after being confiscate from the homeless people. Rubber would be a good solution to combat this issue as it will also help address the damage done to vehicles in the grocery store parking lot due to runaway carts.
Can you hold it?
I don’t know that anyone plans on or looks forward to using public restrooms. Unfortunately, the longer we’re shopping or a long ride to the grocery store just may result in us needing the bathroom facilities. I would assume that at home, most people don’t pee on the seat or throw toilet paper all over the floor, so I don’t know why it’s so popular in public. For the people who decided to go grocery shopping on a day they have explosive diarrhea, I am sorry. I am sorry that you aren’t feeling well, but after using the restrooms after you, neither am I. I understand it could happen to any of us, but can you at least flush it? On the plus side; I have trained my children to hold their breath for up to 2 minutes.
Rude People, Dumb People and Bumper Carts
I am about the world’s most patient shopper; call me sick, but I generally enjoy shopping. For those people that don’t find the same pleasure in shopping, please don’t ruin it for me. When you run into me with your cart, I apologize and you look at me like “You better be sorry”. Did I miss something? Then some of you feel the need to just barge through and smash into my cart, sometimes resulting in having the wind knocked out of me and yet, you never say a word. You cut in lines and you step in front of me to get to the canned goods. If I can say excuse me, pardon me, thank you and I’m sorry; it shouldn’t be that hard for you. If you are pushing your cart up the middle of the aisle and decide that you’re going to window shop for Tuna Fish for a couple of minutes; can you pick a side and nicely move your cart there? These are simple rules; if we all follow them we should all have a more relaxing trip to the grocery store.
It says 20 items or less!
20 items or less, okay, I’m willing to forgive a few items above the threshold, but I shouldn’t have to stand in line with a bottle of cough syrup and hacking child, waiting to cash out for 15 minutes behind someone who clearly can’t count or add. There should be an alarm and a PA that beeps flashes and announces check outs above 30 items “BEEP BEEP BEEP! THIS CUSTOMER IS A LIAR OR STUPID!” That just might prevent them from creating this selfish faux pas on the next trip to the grocery store and it might just deter a potential check-out offender right there on the spot. Look around as the alarm is sounding and the customer’s face turns a lovely shade of red at the grocery carts that are doing U-turns with their heads down praying that no one is looking their direction.
Grocery shopping is just about unavoidable. If we all stick together and try to follow some of these simple rules we might just see a change in humanity; a chance for a better life. Don't we want a better life? It's up to you.