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Survivor's Newest Hatch?

Updated on March 21, 2012


Colton's presence changes the game's flag
Colton's presence changes the game's flag | Source
"Listen, girl!  Follow me or end up in the fire, your days are numbered here, just decide how you want to stay..." Colton, tonight's episode
"Listen, girl! Follow me or end up in the fire, your days are numbered here, just decide how you want to stay..." Colton, tonight's episode | Source

The most self-centered move ever on Survivor

In tonight's episode of Survivor (March 21, 2012) Colton left the game in what could be a foresightful (that's my new word, meaning seeing into the future in an ironic way - it's my blog and I'll invent if I want to!) departure. During the episode, he told one girl who he was openly targeting as the next to be outcast to just put up with it. She was one of the next three to leave and there was nothing she could do about it (his actual words, I have a PVR...) and she should just buck up, go out with dignity. Then, when faced with leaving himself, even if for medical reasons, he cries and begs, and keeps the immunity idol as a souvenir of the show.

He was offered the unusual move of being able to give the immunity idol, which was given to him by one of the remaining female contestants, to anyone left in the game. Now, any normal person would leave the idol with either the person that they were being most honest with, the one they wanted to make it through to the final 4 with, orm DUH!, the person who gave him the idol in the first place.

No, he takes the idol with him, as "a souvenir". Thus, the title of the next episode. I am sure that what happened, if the remaining players are informed that he had the choice to give it away to anyone left, will be talked about a lot in the next few episodes, Especially if he made the jury pool!

Coulton couldn't hatch a winner!

In what this viewer/fan of the series "Survivor" is concerned, the newest casualty in the current Survivor to be cast out could not have come at a better time. Colton Cumbie, the homosexual pansy boy/girl (come on! it's not about his being gay, it's about his being more of a female than all of the females on this season of the show's females are!) was cast out because his appendix may have been about to rupture. Or, it could have been in the starting stages, and if that were the case he should have been able to stick it out for 4 to 6 more weeks. Take the pain and win a million, sissy up and go home in shame. Imagine if they find out that it was just gas!

Sure, sure, I know... within the next couple of days I could be found to be a mean old sissy-hater, even an anti-gay poster boy. However, I assure you that I have no problem with the gay, lesbian, transgender and transsexual portion of society. To each their own, as long as they don't push their lifestyles on others (like kiddie-diddlers and child pornographers, to start with) they are just people to me. I thought that Richard Hatch played a very smart game, he used his sexuality to play out front and under the wire at the same time. I have and have had friends who are gay, and lived with a lesbian for a few years (that's a completely other post! One that would never make it past the editors). I never got mad or violent or anything like that whenever I was hit on by gay guys, I just mentioned that I was completely straight and had no problems with the way they lived. One guy, who went a tad too far in trying to make me change my mind regretted it, but that too is another completely different post.

Oh, dang! Here i go again! If you've followed me here or in my WordPress posts, you know that I do tend to digress a lot, and I also just love making up new words! I have a daily "Word of the Day" feature (what was my first guess that it was a daily feature, you so righteously ask?) where i post... oh, there i go again... oh, okay, back to Colton and why he should be taken out to the wood shed and shot.

If Cotlon's ailment turns out to be nasty, terminal or even problematic, then I apologize and sympathize. Appendicitis is a very painful ailment, I went through that in high school (and in my case, I was misdiagnosed as having gas and sent home, then went back and they found that my appendix was leaking, ready to burst at the seams, sending me in to immediate surgery), so i can relate to the original diagnosis by the show's paramedics being valid through both personal experience and first aid training. And, i have no doubts in Survivor's paramedic's crews' abilities; (that's a lot of apostrophes!) the tests they did on him were classic appendicitis field tests, with one major glaring inefficiency; well, for starters they did physically see his heartbeat double in beats per minute right in front of them - however, they did their testing without the necessary anal probe. That is how they make an appendicitis diagnosis. However, me does assume that it was one procedure which may have been overly happily received, with no eye rolling.

So, why do I hate him so?

Aside from the fact he was more feminine than any of the girls, at least two of which being model beautiful and possessing proper feminine etiquette ? Aside from his rolling his eyes constantly while wiping his forehead with his wrist? Aside from the way he walks, runs, talks and acts? He makes narcissists seem nice; he makes Dave Hester of Storage Wars seem like a great guy to go and have a few beers with.

Colton was given the opportunity to give the immunity idol (which was given to him in one of the first episodes by one of the actual girls) to whomever he wanted to give it to. His departure saw the merge of the two tribes "(when two tribes go to war, one is all that you can score" Frankie Goes to Hollywood), where his self-imposed dictatorship over the other contestants would have been in dire jeopardy anyways.

This was the worst move in Survivor history. It showed a complete lack of class, culture and civility. He made his lack of humanity known to all. If he comes back for another season, which is the norm for players who have to leave for medical reasons, and for those who, after all of the players get to watch the entire season on Blu-Ray, are found out to be 100% not what they thought they were. Their true colors come shining through once the others get to watch all of the on-camera but out of contestant earshot,

But, for him not to at least give the immunity idol to the girl that gave it to him in the first place could have seen Colton leave the game as a man. A girly man, most definitely not a manly-man, but still a man (at least until the inevitable sex change operation). Now, little Colton is going to be joining Richard Hatch as a real idiot, a self-centered maniacal and conceited castaway who will live on in infamy, and most likely return in an upcoming season.

Oh, God! No! Don't! Please! Please don't!

Survivor writers and producers had better not bring this flamboyant, eye-rolling, self-anointed master of all and wonder of everyone back, or this blogger for one will bombard them with the most nasty posts ever to be published online. That, constant reader, is my promise to you, myself and all fans of Survivor.

Okay, I could take Richard Hatch walking around naked and flaunting his homesexuality; it put people off of their game and made them concentrate on getting rid of other people that they deemed actual threats - nobody believed that if they took Richard Hatch to the finals with them they would have lost. The same thinking most likely would have taken place this season, and Colton, this is for you...

If you would have stayed, you would have won. No questions, no doubts!

And, one final thing...

In what could turn out to the be the most foresightful (yup! another new word! I'm on a roll, I'ma tellin' 'ya!) conversations in Survivor, tonight Colton told one of the girls (the real kind) that since her time at the game was limited to a couple of days, she should decide how she wants to be portrayed - quit or fight. He starts to feel a little pain and runs into the woods, lying down and crying. No temperature, and his heartbeat doubling could very well have been simply stress related, and if that is the case he will go down as the biggest sissy to ever play the game. Gads, I hope I'm right on this one! (if he's really sick, just never mind everything you've read here, okay?)


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    • Marc Babineau profile image

      Marc Babineau 6 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      Bah! I am not one to blow my own horn, i leave the promotions to Twitter and friends,,, like you!

      Thanks for the visit, Christy! (you think about me when you watch TV? wowsers!)

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      While I don't watch the current Survivor series (too many others to follow!), I appreciate being kept up to speed by your hub Marc. I was keeping watch another guy named Colton on American Idol last night (seriously, same name). What a coincidence! I like thinking about you relaxing with the TV and talking back to the characters :)

      PS Why not add a link to the end of the hub that is one of your "word a day" posts. That way readers here at HP have a link to the blog you mention in the hub.

    • Marc Babineau profile image

      Marc Babineau 6 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      Yeah! I'm not a gay-basher! I knew he was either faking it or pushing it, as in being the big, eye-rolling sissy-boy that he portrayed himself to be! Gads, I sure hope the show doesn't bring him back, especially under the light that you have lit over him and his antics!

      Thanks so very much for the visit and the agreeing comment!

    • profile image

      laurel 6 years ago

      HE DIDNT HAVE APPENDICITIS! he had a stomache bug, they just thought it was appendicitis at the time. He is a big baby that milked it for all it was worth. Anyone with medical degree or schooling figured that out before the episode ended. I did some research on colton after leaving survivor to confirm my suspicians that he was a liar and faking it. HE INFACT WAS. When they pressed down and asked which hurt more, pushing in or letting go, he said pushing in. INSTANT CONFIRMATION that he was faking. APPENDICITIS symptoms are when RELEASING the pressure it hurts MORE than pushing in. But those that dont have medical knowledge or have been through that wouldnt know that. And for the record, if someone screams stomach pain, even if medics know they are lying, or exaggerating, they HAVE to do tests, to save their own asses. They knew he was faking it instantly, but couldnt say that until medical tests confirmed it