ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Ted 2 (2015) Movie Review

Updated on May 7, 2020
Noel Penaflor7 profile image

I Write These Movie Reviews Locked in the Trunk of Your Car. Thanks for the Snacks!!

MPAA Rating
Running Time
115 minutes
Seth MacFarlane
Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild

If it was ever a question, Ted 2 will not disappoint fans of the original Ted, as there’s barely a 20% drop-off in laughs, well above the average for your standard comedy sequel. Those of you wanting weed, sex, and fecal references will more than get your fill.

Those of you wanting an unusual amount of black and gay jokes will get those as well. If you’re offended, what are you doing considering Ted 2 anyway? I’m more taken aback that Mark Wahlberg feels the need to appear in a film every couple of weeks and only 1 in 6 are actually decent (if you’re keeping track, Ted is among the keepers, everything else- you’ve already skipped). If this track record continues, Marky Mark can change his name to Nicolas Cage. No good vibrations.

It seems almost pointless to delve into “plot” (written by Seth MacFarlane and 2 other writers whose names aren‘t important) since the story itself is just a hook for Ted and his immature friend John to say “f*ck” a lot and smoke creatively named strains of weed. You have to admire the attempt at an original story instead of regurgitating the same jokes over and over and over with diminishing returns (see: those flaccid Hangover sequels). It would be like whining about plot during Jurassic World.

The story, as such…


Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane, wisely staying the camera after A Million Ways To Die In The West) and white trash Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) are married.

Man-child John (Mark Wahlberg) and Lori (Mila Kunis) are divorced. Partly because Mila Kunis was pregnant. Post-baby, Kunis did the idiotic Jupiter Ascending. At least she has a baby.

Chapter skip months later as Tami and Ted’s marriage is pretty rocky, so one of Ted’s sassy co-workers suggest they have a baby because as everyone knows, if you’re having problems with your marriage, having a baby will totally make everything better.

Tami and Ted can’t conceive because Ted doesn’t have genitals.
Tami and Ted try to adopt but get rejected because they both have priors regarding drugs and lewd behavior. Ted can’t adopt because he’s technically not a person, but it’s okay for Kim Kardashian to crop her daughter out of selfies. A number of red flags are brought up as a result of the adoption attempt, and Ted loses his cashier job, as well as his rights, since he’s technically just a stuffed toy.

Or is he?

Not since Ex Machina and AI: Artificial Intelligence has such a stirring story of what it means to be human taken place. It will have you thinking and having long and passionate discussions after the movie about the issues it dares to tackle. Can a movie do so much in just under 2 hours? Yes! Is that movie Ted 2? For this week…sure. Why not?

The other movie opening this week is Max, and I’m fairly sure the dog gets shot by the end of it or eaten at the end of the Chinese version, and nobody wants to see that. See Ted 2 and laugh about 30% less than you did at the original Ted, or wait about 10 days before Mark Wahlberg comes out with another movie, but I’m guessing it won’t have as many references to huge black members.

Comparably, there are still less black d*ck references in Ted 2 than there are in Inside Out.

What Works With Ted 2

  • Amanda Seyfried does a serviceable job filling in for Mila Kunis, and, as she did in A Million Ways To Die, is more than willing to make fun or herself as Seth MacFarlane seems to take pleasure in taking verbal shots at her dinner-plate eyes.
  • Not sure if it’s a good thing that the best sequence in the movie takes place in its first act, as Ted and John try to get sperm. Includes a priceless cameo from Super Bowl MVP/Football deflater Tom Brady.
  • Finally all people can marry. You feel bad for that one Jewish Gay guy whose mom is going to lay a massive guilt trip as now there’s no excuse.
  • A very big star buys some cereal- in retrospect, it’s the funniest scene in the film even though there’s no real place for it within the structure of the movie. Doesn’t really matter, as it might be the funniest scene of the summer so far.

What Doesn’t Work With Ted 2

  • The climax to Ted 2 is much too similar to the original Ted, right down to that song you thought died in the 80s.
  • The unsubtle references to Transformers, as the movie feels the need to remind you that Mark Wahlberg was in the worst Transformers movie on record so far, which to some is really saying something


At mere 35% drop-off in laughs from the original Ted, Ted 2 is a perfectly adequate comedy sequel and the better one to see in the battle of the furry creatures this weekend.

3 stars for Ted 2


What’s Your Favorite Stuffed Animal Movie?

See results


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)