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Ten Most Disappointing 2015 Movies
Go Home Arnold, You're Drunk.
Ten Movies That Should Have Been So Much More
1) Chappie (Neil Blomkamp):
Neil Blomkamp seems to only have one message he wants to tell over and over again, and it is really starting to damage the quality of each release. District 9 revisited themes and reused imagery from a lot of other sci-fi movies, but Blomkamp managed to make it feel his own.
Chappie came out at a time when a much better A.I. related movie was making the rounds in Ex-Machina (Alex Garland), and a strong, and likeable, lead character (Chappie himself) is let down by the lacklustre pacing and horrible acting that dominated most of Blomkamp’s latest release. Not even a fun turn by Hugh Jackman could save this.
But, what secured Chappie’s place in this list is the amount of screen-time Blomkamp gives to Ninja and Yo-Landi, a music duo that have no business being in front of a camera. Every scene they were in (which was most of them) were completely ruined by their incapability to make even the simplest of sentences sound genuine.
2) Tomorrowland (Brad Bird):
Brad Bird does not deserve to be on this list. I do not want him to be on this list. Every other movie he has ever released were absolutely perfect. Sadly, his record is destroyed thanks to a horrible screen-play, with way too long book endings, an over-drown first act and the ridiculous final act.
Tomorrowland took forever to actually get to Tomorrowland, so by the time we, the audience, actually got to see this land in all its glory, it was way too late. And it looked rather ugly too. Which did not help.
3) Sisters (Jason Moore):
Sisters’ main crime might be that the cast had too much fun on set. Every scene drags on to the point of parody and most of the humour fizzles out into nothingness. I’m sure the image of Amy Poehler giving an old guy’s penis a sponge bath was hilarious in person, but on the big screen and for as long as it lasted? Yeah, no.
Tina Fey and Poehler have shown how funny they can be, unfortunately Sisters is the worst product either actress has ever released.
4) Terminator Genisys (Alan Taylor):
Alan Taylor’s Terminator Genisys is a culmination of ideas that could have, maybe, worked if they had just chosen one. Instead, too much happens resulting in a scatter shot mess of a movie. The action is rather tame, the BIG twist of a villain is revealed in the trailer and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Terminator seems more like a parody of the original version than anything worthwhile.
The casting is also dreadful. Jai Courtney continues to prove that he remains one of the most punchable people in the industry, his Kyle Reese lacking any intelligence or depth the Michael Biehn original had. While, Emilia Clarke continues to struggle to establish herself beyond Game of Thrones.
Not to mention its crimes against the English language. I mean, GENISYS, really?
5) The Good Dinosaur (Peter Sohn):
The Good Dinosaur would have not even made this list if it was not for Inside Out. The penultimate Pixar release was my favourite movie of 2015, which resulted in way too high expectations being attached to the follow-up. Saying that, The Good Dinosaur is mostly awful.
From it’s recycled plot points, to it’s inability to make use of some rather interesting side characters, to the grating voice acting and the mismatched visuals, The Good Dinosaur never seems to know what it wants to be. And from crying out loud Pixar, mutilation is never funny. Unless it happens on Itchy and Scratchy.
6) Trainwreck (Judd Apatow):
Trainwreck was my first taste of the Amy Schumer’s style of comedy; And I found her charming; for about 30 minutes. Trainwreck is one of the most un-even comedies I’ve had to sit through all year, while worse comedies have definitely seen the light of day (Get Hard), this is the only one were I found myself constantly looking at my watch.
Schumer can be funny but, personally, I found her comedy wore thin quite quickly. She is also a rather poor actress, which is a huge problem in an Apatow movie. The very long second half tries desperately to be heart warming and Amy Schumer was not really up to the challenge.
Saying that, she can joke about sex with the best of them. More of that next time.
7) Fantastic Four (Josh Trank):
You are probably wondering why this is not higher. Or why it is even on this list, since it’s very negative reception did not really surprise anyone.
The thing is, I was really excited for Fantastic Four before all the behind the scene crap was making the rounds. Josh Trank proved he is capable of directing a solid Superhero movie, so I wanted to see how he would tackle Marvel’s most famous family.
Then all the bad publicity started surfacing and the scatting reviews came in, so my expectations plummeted. Unable to resist a train-wreck, I went to see it almost immediately. Shockingly, I did not hate it as much as most people. It’s dreadful, do not get me wrong, but I did not make me particularly angry.
That’s why it is so low on the list. Due to the negative hype, I can not say I was disappointed with what I saw. But this had potential to be a lot more.
8) Spectre (Sam Mendes):
Spectre is a pretty good James Bond flick. It’s fun, witty and Daniel Craig still fits the role perfectly. But after Skyfalland Casino Royale, this felt like a step back. Add the fact that a much better spy thriller came out earlier in the year (Rouge Nation) and Spectre superfluous.
They also had in their hands a promising villain in Oberhauser, acted by the charmingly sinister Christoph Waltz, that ended up pushed to the side for the majority of the run time. Throw in another meaningless romance and Spectre failed to distinguish itself as anything more than a by the numbers Bond adventure.
9) It Follows (David Robert Mitchell):
It Follows is the critical horror darling for 2015. With 96% on Rotten Tomatoes, it was impossible to not be swept up in the hype for what promised to be a truly frightening experience.
And that’s were It Follows failed for me; it was never really scary. It had two ‘Oh Shit’ moments but otherwise was mostly repetitive. The acting is good, for a horror movie, and the soundtrack is phenomenal (if a bit over done) but the characters are about as deep as any other slasher/horror movie.
What sealed it’s place in this list was the third act. Nothing in the final 20 minutes makes sense. I do not want to spoil it for those who haven’t seen it but would like too, but it felt like the writer had a location he really wanted to use but could not find a way to really get the story there. It makes the characters’ plan feel completely random and idiotic.
10) Mistress America (Noah Baumbach):
Noah Baumbach is one of the best writers working in the business today. His characters are always well defined and the words that flow out of their mouths are often magical. Mistress America has all the elements you would expect of a Baumbach release, with a stellar central performance by Greta Gerwig, but it feel short of the possibly too high expectations attached to it.
This the only Baumbach movie were I actively wanted the characters to shut up. Each and every second of the 90 minute run time is filled with speech and dialogue. It’s not necessarily bad, but I found myself waiting for a chance to catch my breathe that never arrived.
The characters are also rather obnoxious, which is completely fine, if they are still interesting. But, sadly, they rarely are. Gerwig’s Brooke is the only one that sparks Mistress America to life but even she gets grating after awhile.