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Ten Reasons Why You Should Sign Your Estate Over To Me

Updated on May 11, 2011

This article is directed at a very specific audience - the disillusioned millionaire/billionaire. Are you tired of trying to up-keep your estate? Are you approaching the end of your life and you have no one that you can leave your wealth behind. Do you find it ludicrous to leave your riches to an animal that does not understand what it is you are leaving them?

If you answered some or all of these questions. I have the solution. Leave your riches/estate to me. You can send all liquid cash to RMJ Productions, 5353 Lakeshore Road, PO Box 84030 Burlington, Ontario, Canada L7L 6S2.

Here are the top ten reasons why I should be the one that you sign over everything to:

1.  I have a good clean record.  You can do a background search on me and you will find a background history free of any sort of crime.  That piece of candy I took from the store when I was five, was expunged from my records after my mom marched me back to the store to return it.

2. I am a prankster.  I would use all kinds of my newly found resources pranking my friends.   For instance, I would invite them over to your/my estate and have the butler dress up as Dracula.  Two carefully hidden smoke machines would be employed for full effect and the whole thing would be filmed by at least three different camera angles for editing.   I would then edit and present the results to NBC studios for a reality show pitch.

3. You don't have to worry about me not liking where you live.  I am not picky because I am sure that it would be a step up for me.  If by some chance, I don't like the estate, I can always find someone who does for the right price of course.  If all else fails there could be an accident once the insurance premiums were topped off.  Wink. Wink.

4. They say that "Charity begins at home".  Well, this is true and it should begin at your home and by you signing it over to me.  You probably have another dozen houses elsewhere in the world so this would definitely be a great act of charity. 

5. I am Canadian and many Canadians aspire to live somewhere warmer in the world.  We have the lowest temperature records on the planet.  What better way to contribute to Global warming than by letting a Canadian move to a warmer climate?  If you want to help on a bigger scale, I could invite many of my friends. 

6. My personality is that of a cynic of Scrooge proportions.  By giving to me, you will be warming my heart and filling me with joyous optimism.  You can convert me from being a "glass half empty" person to a person with many glasses -some empty and some full. 

7. You don't have to worry about large families moving in on the estate and making noises for the neighbor.  I have managed to alienate myself from just about everyone in my family.  See, even my negative issues are turning out to be positive.

8. One reason why rich people will part with their money is because they are bored.  It is very possible you might still be bored when you make the transfer.  However, if you give everything over, I guarantee you that struggling for a living is rarely boring. 

9. You are rich beyond your wildest dreams.  Do you really need a reason to transfer some or all of your wealth to me? 

10.  Like the Nike ad says, "Just Do It'.  

Now I know that you millionaires/billionaires are out there and have been searching for this ad to finally appear.  You have been spending all your time looking for more wealth and what will that get you - an ulcer, worries, more cash and more wealth.  You need to be relieved of some of the burden of your riches.  Get rid of it.  It is good for your health.   I advise you to hurry because there are tons of millionaires out there vying to give me their estates and I am not sure I will be able to accept them all.  I may have to turn you down!  Best of luck!

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