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Ten Signs That You Did NOT Obsess about That Royal Wedding
Did the entire world go mad or become obsessed with that highly publicized royal wedding? It seems a lot did. But there were some of us at the other extreme. It wasn't that we hated all of the hoopla about the wedding – it's just that it really didn't affect us much one way or the other. Here are ten clues or signs that can help you know whether you were one of the ones who qualified as one of the sane group, in matters relating to the royal wedding.
Always in the Limelight
Will the celebrity-focused world always be obsessed with every detail of the lives of famous people?
Whee. Big Deal.
10. Every time you saw an article about William and Kate, you thought, "Oh, that's right, another celebrity is getting married. Whee."
You are one of the ones who stays way past the saturation point, when it comes to the attention-grabbers of modern life. As if the world didn't have to spy on every single household name's every move, including their deepest, darkest secrets and how they feel about everything (did you like your soft-boiled egg this morning, Ms. Starr?), we actually even had the opportunity to hear repeatedly about the drabbest, as well as the most vivid, details of one famous couple's nuptials-to-be. And how would that affect your life, anyway?
Royal? Oh, yeah, that's right...
9. You couldn't remember whether William is Margaret's grandson or uncle.
Actually, William is Princess Margaret's great-nephew. I think. Isn't Margaret the sister of Queen Elizabeth II? Or is she the daughter? Anyway, if Margaret is Elizabeth's sister, then William is M's great-nephew. (My cousin might call him her "nephew once removed," I'm thinking.) But if M is E's daughter, then William is M's nephew. In any case, he is neither her grandson nor, Heaven forbid, her uncle.
8. Winslet Beckinsale Hudson Gosselin Bosworth Blanchett Capshaw Jackson ?
Yes, there are many famous Kates (and at least one famous Cate) in the world. Take your pick here. Some of them actually have interesting lives and careers.
7. You asked yourself, why do I keep seeing that couple's picture everywhere I turn? They're kind of attractive; but… really?!?!
Admittedly, these two still have the attractive bloom of youth and good health, even now after the first bloom of their fairy-tale wedding has faded. They would probably always make a good advertisement for healthy exercise and nutrition. (That is, they would have if they hadn't been cultivating some contrary practices.) But at least they make a good advertisement for Olin Mills. They are pleasant to the eyes, to be sure. That's a good thing, since we seem to see them everywhere. And probably will until they are wrinkled and gray.
But If You Actually Want Some Real, Actual, Factual Facts:
Even though this article was intended as a light-hearted commentary on the modern Cult of Celebrityism, there are still some interesting facts about the Royal Wedding of 2011 that you may wish to follow, after you finish this - and a couple that seem to have the same perspective as I have. Check these out.
William and Kate WEdding Souvenirs by moonbun
The Royal Wedding: Too Much Attention? by John Andrew
Whose Day Did You Think It Was?
6. You thought the spate of articles about weddings was aimed at making yours THE perfect wedding day.
It seemed that some new aspect of weddings was discussed in minute detail every day for... gosh, how many weeks - months? - was it? That would actually have been a good thing for you, if you hadn't finished making all the plans for your own wedding yet. Or if you were thinking of making your next wedding and/or the one after that an even bigger blowout than the first one was. Not suggesting anything, just sayin'.
5. Robin Treat Hank? Baldwin Clinton Defoe Fichtner Holden Hurt Moseley Thornton Zane Smith. William Smith? Will Smith????
Yes, there are also many Williams (first name) and Williamses (last name), and several of them actually are quite interesting. In fact, some of them are just as interesting for the fact that they did not quite reach the top as some of the others are for shattering all kinds of records on their way up. But you and I would still not be all that interested in their weddings, would we? I mean, come on. People get married every day. And a lot of those marriages truly are fairy-tale inspirational.
Again, Kate Who?
4. You thought Kate's last name was Middling.
Sorry. Pretty much every surname can be manipulated for misconstruing. This is just a game, not a commentary.
3. Every time you heard a detail about William and Kate's wedding-to-be you thought, Finally, the Royal Family is entering the twentieth century.
Yehhhh…. Well…. Sure, we know that this really is the twenty-first century. We left the twentieth a decade ago. But was it such a huge step that this couple did not use the word "obey" in their vows? I mean, really! My little old grandfather in Mississippi didn't use that word when he married couples nearly a hundred years ago. His reason – First of all, it just wasn't true or correct. And second of all, he didn't want to ask a bride to tell a lie on her wedding day! Smart man, my grandpa. Glad to see the Royal Family took a little step to try to catch up.
New Home Page?
2. You changed your home page to some weird science journal in Antarctica.
Okay, sure, the lovebirds in question are an attractive couple and easy on the eyes. But, see sign-signal-reason #10. You got way past the saturation point and figured it was time to do something about it. It made perfect sense to find something genuinely interesting to watch. Ice floes have a lot to tell us. And Penguins are really fascinating. Hey, have you seen the adorable video of the ticklish penguin Cookie?
And, the Number One Sign ...
1. You threw away your invitation.
Oh, is that what that envelope was? I'm really sorry. I guess you could have passed it along to someone who would have appreciated it.