Ten Amazing Uses For Leftover Meatloaf You Have Never, Ever Thought Of!
Disclaimer: My husband and our friend Georgie decided to give each other topic challenges. This is one of the topics my husband (Ghostwolfe) sent me. More will come, if I don’t dismember him first.
Meatloaf, you love it, hate it or just go, “Eh.” Doesn’t matter how you feel about it – I wrote a Hub on it. Read it and enjoy or leave me hate mail. If you leave me hate mail I will just go “Eh.”
Okay, on to the uses.
Food
This may have been your first guess, but maybe not depending on how you feel about hefty rectangular chunks of dead cow. How you eat it is limited only by your imagination and number of teeth or lack thereof. A few ideas:
1. Reheat. Serve. (Keep it from drying out by drowning in your favorite sauce)
2. Cut into smaller rectangular chunks and use in soup or stew.
3. Slice very, very thin and fry into meat chips. Serve with salsa.
4. Blend into a smoothie. Laugh in the face of convention.
5. Chill, cut into slices, coat with a flour/cornmeal concoction. Fry in oil. Serve as mock sausage for breakfast.
6. Crumble and use as taco filling.
7. Crumble into pasta. Add chunks of cheddar cheese, sliced jalapeno peppers, salsa, and sour cream with taco seasoning mixed in. Call it Montezuma’s Revenge.
Weather Gauge
Leftover meatloaf makes a great weather gauge. First, procure a meatloaf. Next, procure a 2x4. Attach the meatloaf to the 2x4 in some manner. Super glue may work for a time, but unless the loaf is very dense, it will eventually detach, probably in the middle of the loaf. This will affect the gauge considerably.
A wire cage around the meatloaf will keep away some animals.
After attaching the loaf, place it in an area close enough to see, but far enough away that the attracted scavengers won’t bother you too much. Check the meat loaf every day.
FROZEN: It is cold outside. Put on clothing.
WET: It is raining. Go inside.
WARM: Spring is here.
STINKY: Summer. Take off winter clothes.
BLACK/FURRY/FALLING APART: High summer. Hit the pool.
GONE: Necromancy! Call an exorcist. Consider moving to a new home.
Household Helper:
Meatloaf quality is determined by the chef. High quality loaves can be used as the food items I have listed above. Other not-so-tasty loaves can be recycled into household helpers. Not sure what to do? That’s why I am here!
1. Scouring pad. High cornmeal or cracker content gives scour-power. Cut into slices about the same size and shape of a commercial sponge/scouring pad. Dry in a dehydrator or low over. Once crispy, scrub away!
2. Facial scouring pads. Follow the same guidelines as for scouring pads, but cut into smaller sizes. Unless you have a huge face.
3. Doorstop. Again, this is based on the effort of the chef. Heavy, dry meatloaf works best.
Garden:
Out of animal repellant? You’re out of luck. However, leftover meatloaf is an excellent people-repellant. In-laws coming over? When they reach your home exclaim, “I am SO glad you are here! We’re having leftover meatloaf. Please stay for dinner.” They’ll be gone in no time flat.
Dry, grind, and sprinkle over slugs in the garden. It is a well-known fact that leftover loaves kill most soft-bodies animals on contact.
Stepping stones.
Chunks make a driveway gravel substitute. Certain loaves can puncture tires, be aware of chef.
Utility:
Do you live where it snows? Carry crumbled meatloaf as a traction improver.
Several loaves in the trunk of your car may add enough weight to get out of slippery situations.
Light dried loaves in case of a flat tire. Burns for days, perfect flare replacement.
Counter-weight for buckets during DIY home projects. Meatloaf atat one end of a rope that has been tied to a bucket.
Hammer.
Hatchet.
Wood splitter.
Family and Relationships:
You care about your family. This is why you should never, ever feed them meatloaf. If someone in your household commits such a sin – turn it into a learning experience. As others in the household are curled up in a fetal position, holding their stomachs, tell them “I told you meatloaf sucked.”
Children learn best when they are tormented by their parents. Part of being an adult is passing on the mental anguish our own parents lavished on us while calling it ‘love’. If the children will not go to bed tell them you are heating them up a night snack of meatloaf squares. They will be asleep in a minute.
Meatloaf makes a lovely present for any lover. Dress it up a little by wrapping in red tissue paper. Act excited as they open your gift.
Send your new homemade scouring pads to each member of your family for Christmas.
Send your favorite sister in law a set of meatloaf facial scouring pads.
Tech:
Slice into very thin..well, slices. Keep in a repurposed baby wipes container. Clean your TV, Laptop, and mobile phone screens.
If you have more than one leftover meatloaf, use as speaker replacements.
Xbox 360 overheating? Use 2 meatloaves as stands. It will help airflow under the device.
Entertainment:
A large meatloaf can be placed on the top of an entertainment center. Watch your meatloaf.
Music. As we all know, Meatloaf is a classic entertainer. Plug your earbuds into your leftover Meatloaf. He won’t mind. Much.
Cut your meatloaf into chunks. Use as a replacement for lost Monopoly pieces. (Alternative – slice thin. Use as game currency)
Weapons:
Cut your big chunk of meat into tiny chunks. Use as slingshot ammunition.
Tip your arrow shafts with triangular pieces.
Drill a hole into one end of two meat chunks. Swing, and then bash enemies.
Place a large chunk onto varying lengths of handles to create bludgeoning weapons.
Use as cannon ammunition.
Insert fuse, light, run.
Survival Gear:
A good survivalist needs to have a chunk of this stuff in a survival kit or bug-out bag at all times. There are just too many uses to list for this substance in a survival situation. When the end of the world hits, imagine that you are alone, scared, and out of food. You can use your big ol’ hunk of meatloaf to beat other survivors senseless, and then steal their food.
Paranormal Research:
Meatloaf gives spirits energy. Carry with you on ghost hunts. When a spirit materializes, you’ll thank me.
Place markers. Zak and the rest of his crew on Ghost Adventures use black tape. Go against the grain. When a client tells you there are ghost sightings in a room, slap a chunk on the spot. They’ll be impressed.
Exorcism. When I say that people hate leftover meatloaf, I mean all people. Even dead people. Inhuman spirits may leave the area, as well. Try it. Leave meatloaf in areas with unwanted activity.
I hesitate to add the next idea, as cryptozoology isn’t really paranormal. Many people assume it is, so I am going to add this…
Bigfoot bait or repellant. If you place a thawed loaf in an area known to have Bigfoot activity and it disappears – you probably do NOT have real Bigfoot activity. They are known to be intelligent creatures. No intelligent creature would eat that junk.
As a final paranormal use - carry a large meatloaf scouring pad in your backpack, purse, or whatever it is paranormal researchers carry. If you come across a vampire, for the love of everything - scrub the glitter off of it.
Thanks again to my wonderful husband for giving me this topic. Remember, honey, I know where you sleep. I also cook for you.