That Papa Roach Album called F.E.A.R.
Ok, I have to say that I love this album. Ok I love every album of Papa Roach, some more than others. And this would be one of the ones that I love more than others. I mean, it's good, well put together, high quality music. Although I do believe that the equalizer does play a major part in how each album sounds. Personally, I'm a bass cranker. I just love that bass.
Anyway, before I get too off topic, into a new direction. So over the past two years, I've been having a lot of psychological problems. And so I began to look for music to help me cope and understand my emotions. I'm 24 now, but when I was 13 and growing up, I learned how to cope with my emotions through music. Which is why I listen to such a wide variety of music and have a personal music collection of 60 gigs. And this whole album has helped me put the lid on top of what I've been going through the past two years. I mean the drugs were helping, but they weren't giving me closure. I just don't see myself being on these drugs forever.
The first song of the album I heard was "Face Everything And Rise." Which is the typed out acronym FEAR is. And at first I thought: Wow this is an awesome new band. This is the first album Papa Roach has released in a long time. And I've been so busy lately, that I didn't make the connection at first. Then I Google'd the lyrics and sure enough I saw that their new album was out and I knew I just had to have it. Without having to listen to the other songs. That's how much faith I tend to put into my music. If one song is excellent, then the rest have to be at least good. Only a few bands have disappointed me on this.
Back to the song I mentioned in a previous paragraph, far, far, far away. This song motivates me, it makes me want to get up and do something. It's been a perfect addition to my workout playlist. No matter what exercise I'm on when it comes on, it gives me that extra juice to push harder. The song is about when everything go's to hell and you're condemned by your own actions, that you find a way to dig yourself out of that hell hole. And then scream at the sky for being able to do so. It activates that survival instinct inside of me and gets the adrenaline rushing. I mean imagine that, if you have the power to do that, then what's going to stop you?
Several other songs in the album activates that same emotion. The will to survive. It's not fear and it's not anger. It is a hellbent lightning charge that is as strong as your own will to survive. And that lightning charge is weakened by any sense of doubt or distractions. It is only as strong as your focus and own will power.
Now the song "Skeletons", is a bit different. It is a song of personal reflection and a process of facing your self doubts so that you can show them off to someone else. If you can wear your skeletons on your chest and say: So what? What do your skeletons look like? Everyone has their own set of skeletons, some are darker than others and some have zombies, then there are those that are still beating their skeletons to death. You face the skeleton, admit what you've done, learn from it and move on. Or you can be that psychopath that buries them in the back yard and pretend that they don't exist. Do this and the graveyard will keep growing, you may even have to hire a grave keeper to make sure they're not disturbed.
Well it's getting late and I have work tomorrow. So I will continue this another time. I'm going to try to keep posting or updating a blog once a day. Not that I'm running out of things to say, it's too easy to find something to type about. It's just I'm busy with work and my personal fitness along with my social life.
Broken as me - by Papa Roach
This song give's me confidence, as it helps me relate the traits I have that make me feel broken to others. And the lyrics help me even out and reason with the playing field in arguments. Yeah, I might have a few issues with trusting people, but I don't have nearly as many insecurities about how I look compared to some people.
You can learn a lot by looking at someone, unless they're faking it. I do this all the time and just by looking at a person I can tell how much they care about themselves. Some of the things they may spend a lot of money on. It's very easy to tell when someone doesn't care and when someone is trying to look good for someone.
And so combining my ability to judge on the spot and what this song has taught me. I've found a lot of confidence and self worth for myself. Yeah someone can look like a 10, but I won't be interested if I can see that they just create drama and aren't too bright. I've got too much heart for a one night stand.
Also it's like they say, don't judge a book by it's cover. So often times I start a conversation with a simple "Hello." If they can't say a greeting back to me or effectively respond, then they're probably too stuck on themselves for me to care and not worth my time. Yeah I'm weird, who isn't? Everyone has their quirks.