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“The Adventures Of Little Diego - Former Child Star” Chapter 7 - Part 1 of 4, ‘My Very First Romance - Or Lack There Of.

Updated on January 5, 2014

Marc Copage

One of the first recordings they released on me was a song called, “Our Very First Romance”.

It was a song about one's first love or one's first romance. Interesting enough, all these years later, I’ve yet to experience my first romance, though I have loved many from afar. For whatever reasons, I’ve always been unlucky in love. It's a theme that has run throughout my entire life. I don’t know if it’s some deep psychological issue stemming from the absence of a mother in my childhood...

From An LA Times Magazine Newspaper Article Done On Me Years Ago

Or maybe I just ain't got no game?

Snoop Got Game

Regardless of the root of the cause, I'm cursed in that department. Whatever it is that women want, I don’t seem to have.

Hey! What's Up Baby?

Marc Copage On "The Leeza Show" With Former Child Star Paul Peterson

Ms. Gibbons did have a point. What about the Jodi Foster's, Ron Howard's, Brooke Shields, Kevin Hooks, Eric Laneuville's etc., etc., that were able to make successful transitions from child stars to successful working actors, producers, and directors in the entertainment business? Damn you! You've ruined it for all of us! Anybody listening to the ramblings and excuses of a former chid star not getting 'his' can just point a finger to you and say, "See?! They seemed to have turned out alright!" Blast you, Opey! I hate you!

Ron Howard As Opie Taylor From "The Andy Griffith Show"

Former Child Stars - Director Eric Laneuville And Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt

Rob Lowe - Another Successful Former Child Star

Ms. Gibbons was quite easy on the eyes though.

Emmy Award Winning Talk Show Host - Leeza Gibbons

I’ve tried just about everything. I keep telling myself to just get over it! If it is indeed some type of mommy issues just get over it! But in spite of attempts ad nauseum to try to free myself through acupuncture, rolphing, self hypnosis, regular hypnosis, positive thinking, counseling, A Course In Miracles, Lifespring, Lifeforce, and various other religions and self help programs, etc., etc. You name it! I have tried just about everything imaginable and thus far proven to be unsuccessful at finding love.

However, no matter how hard I try, I’m unable to break this cycle. Like a dog chasing it's own tail.

Dog Chasing Tail

Dating was never particularly encouraged while living with my father. Perhaps because my father always wanted to keep himself as the prime and central figure in my life. My father would date often. He was quite a lady’s man but never offered any advice to me in regards to women and dating. He also never kept any women around that showed any strong maternal instincts. A sure fire way for a woman to have my father end the relationship was for her to try and bond with me in some way. Maybe he was just trying to protect me as I had been hurt in the past.

Excerpt From Interview On Hour Magazine

Photo Shoot In The Backyard Of Ms. Carrolls Beverly Hills Home.

But I can’t say that I haven’t had my opportunities. Maybe the real truth is I just never had any game.

Mini Me Got Game!

Even while I was working in the adult entertainment industry, I still had no luck with the ladies for Jimminy Crickets sake! Uhm...err...perhaps more on that later.

Me With Porn Star, Playboy Pin Up Centerfold, Teri Weigel

The very first female I can remember who told me that she loved me was when I was in elementary school. Her name was Karyn. I think we were about 7 at the time. She was a blond gal who had these amazing and piercingly beautiful blue, blue, eyes. She walked over to my desk one day after class, put her hand on top of mine, looked me right in the eyes and said, “I love you Marc."

A Smitten Marc AKA Charlie Brown

charles schulz
charles schulz

Unfortunately, I had no clue of what I was supposed to do next? This was great news to hear, but good lord, what am I supposed to do now for Jimminy Crickets sake!?

Errrrr... Uhmmm.... Uhh...

charles schulz
charles schulz

Consequently, I did nothing. The next week she was chasing this other kid Salem around the playground and became his girl. How quickly love comes and goes when you're a seven year old. I was devastated!

Devastation!

Then there was Andrea. We were around 10 or 11 at the time. She was my first official girlfriend. We could have been one of the first, if not the first, interracial couples at the school. I don't remember any other interracial couples during my 8 years at the elementary school. However, considering I never even kissed her I suppose we didn't really count as an actual couple. We went steady for about a week. Mutual friends prodded me into asking her to go steady with me and be my girlfriend. It wasn’t hard to talk me into it as I had a huge crush on her already. We used to sit in her bedroom and talk endlessly while listening to Elton John, James Taylor, and Carole King albums together. Yes, they had these things called albums back then. People used to listen to music on them.

Carole King & James Taylor

Spying Parent

Thinking back, it was quite progressive of her parents way back then leaving this African American kid all alone in the bedroom with their young daughter like that unattended for hours. One or both parents would always be home, but I never got the impression of being checked up, or in on all the time. We were allowed our privacy. Kudos to them!

The entire time we were actually going steady I never even talked to her. She’d watch me play basketball with my buddies at lunch break, recesses, and after school and I would say nothing to her the whole time. Not one word. I pretty much completely ignored her the duration of our week long going steadiness. I felt so bad for the girl. What kind of douche bag was I? The kind of douche bag that doesn’t have a clue how to get to first base with a girl.

Good Grief!

Charles Schulz
Charles Schulz

I remember she had these white, tight fitting, jeans she would wear that made her behind look absolutely spectacular! “Fat Bottom Girls” You make the rockin' world go round! Andrea had a behind just like a Black girls behind! Even at that age I guess there's something rather attractive about a white girl with a black girls behind. At least with most of the bruthas that I've known. I remember those jeans and that glorious behind of hers to this day. It's the day I knew for certain that I wasn't just a Butt man, but a Bubble Butt, Butt man!

The Bubble Butt Song - Uhm, Keep The Kiddies Away From This One - Parental Advisory!

After a week of not talking to her Andrea told me something to the effect of, “I don’t think this is going to work out.” And who could blame her? She soon started seeing Salem. Crushed by Salem once again!

Good Grief!

Charles Schulz
Charles Schulz

Next woman I remember that ever told me she loved me was Tammy. We were about 12 or 13. Tammy was a very attractive brunette with lovely blue eyes. She was a gal who developed very early on in life if you know what I mean. Though I'm a butt man by nature, she had a rack on her that could not be ignored! She pulls me aside at a pool party thrown by one of our mutual friends. So Tammy pulls me aside and tells me that she loves me! Once again, I did nothing. And who did Tammy end up seeing the following week? You guessed it! Salem! Oh, good grief!!! But you had to admire Salem's cocksmanship. Little Salem was quite a stud!

It’s rumored that after high school Salem went on to lead a gay lifestyle. If that's true, it’s something I never would have guessed as he was one to get all of the girls attention. Why is it my gay friends are always the ones getting chased down by women anyway? I just don’t get that? It’s my gay friends that just can’t get women to leave them alone! What’s up with that?

Liza Minnelli and Peter Allen

So anyway, this sort of pattern continues to happen all through elementary school. I’ve certainly had ample opportunities. I have no one to blame for my lack luster love life but me.

Peanuts

Charles Schulz
Charles Schulz

I've chosen Peanut Strip characters because I believe it most accurately portrays and represents my dilemma and general state of mind during this time. Uhm...perhaps even today. I feel I have a lot in common with Charlie Brown. If he weren't a fictional character he and I could hang. Interestingly enough Jill Schulz, Peanut's Strip creator Charles Schulz's daughter, and I were in an acting class together much later in life. We were in our twenties. She used to invite me to the house for parties she would throw. They owned a private jet. She was never short on time. Only she would get that joke as Jill used to always wear more than one wrist watch. I don't think that look ever quite caught on and I'm fairly certain she's long since abandoned the idea.

Needless to say any chance I had with Jill, I completely screwed up and failed miserably. Eventually I stopped getting the party invites and it's rumored she had a fling with actor Michael J. Fox. At least Salem was no longer in the picture.

Actor Michael J. Fox

I would think to myself, if I could just start over again in a new environment, I’d be given a second chance and I would at last find love. Things would be different! I was excited to be graduating elementary school as I thought high school would offer me new opportunities, a fresh start, and new hope at finding love! My first romance! To finally find the love I had been looking for all my life!

My Elementary School Graduating Class

Marc Copage

Former Child Stars

This former child star played one of three siblings who went to live with their successful uncle in NYC. In real life, sadly, she died of a drug overdose at the age of 18.

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