ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Asteroid That Wiped Out The Dinosaurs . A Comedy Short Story.

Updated on May 10, 2013

Thursday, May 2, 2013

{ Author's Notes : Updated Thursday May 9, 2013 }

{ Author's Notes : Original comments were removed because they applied to the original version of the story. The names of the asteroid were changed in the update. Please note my apology to my cherished readers . Please comment again if you desire. You're comments are very important to me as they assist me in my endeavors as a writer. Thank you. }

One day I was shopping in a feed store. I needed some duck corn , and so I bought a bucket , and a sack of corn. That's when I met the asteroid that may have helped to end the lives of dinosaurs on earth.

The doomsday asteroid's name was Slam Dunk . I spoke to the asteroid , and said, " Why did you wipe out the dinosaurs Slam Dunk ? Why couldn't you mind you're own affairs? "

Slam Dunk had some stuff to tell me. Slam Dunk said, " My name is not Slam Dunk. I think, a science individual named me that. My real name is Destroyer 101, and I am sorry if I plunged into you're earth planet ."

Destroyer 101 asked me a question. " Are you the writer of this story ? Do you know you're scores need to be improved , or you may be headed toward obliteration along with the dinosaurs."

The owner of the feed store asked Destroyer 101 what did he need . Destroyer said," Can you tell me where I can find a Swiss army knife ? "

The owner said, " I have a Swiss army knife on my shelf , and it is only fifteen dollars, and ninety nine cents ."

Destroyer used a MasterCard , and bought his Swiss Army knife. I was leaving the feed store with my duck corn when I noticed that Destroyer 101 was following me to my blue Ford car .

I turned around , and had a few choice words for him. I said," My friends, and readers of my stories adore me , and I cherish them with all my ever loving heart so I do not think I will ever become non existent , at least not until the lord comes for me , but I am saddened for you, for what you did to our sweet earth. Our sweet little dinosaurs were minding their own business when you were traveling extremely fast threw space. You ran right into earth, and did not apply you're brakes . Dinosaurs were large, husky, and awesome, but now they look like little tiny lizards because of you ."

Destroyer 101 replied, " Do you like waffles ? I love waffles with light syrup , and with dark roast coffee. "

The story teller replied, " Sure we like waffles , and I mix the flour with ingredients to make them, and my wife bakes them. Joann, and our daughter Becky love them as well. Why don't you come , and follow me to our house to have some breakfast with us."

Destroyer 101 said, " Oh thank you, but I kind of hate to impose especially after I wiped out nearly all living life forms on you're planet by darkening you're skies , and for killing off a lot of you're vegetation for ,and extended period of time. "

The story teller said , " Well, just forget all about that, and lets just be friends. I forgive you. I know you probably really did not want to do that , and that the forces of the unknown , as well as physics, and other conditions probably had something to do with that as well, so lets just go to our house , and try some of our salami too."

Destroyer 101 sat at our table, and our daughter Becky asked Destoyer if he knew her friend Edward. Destroyer asked Becky who was Edward. Becky told Destroyer that Edward was her boyfriend.

Joann poured Destroyer, and I some delicious dark roast coffee. We enjoyed our breakfast. Becky drank hot chocolate, and ate some toaster fruit pastry .

We had a very nice breakfast. I showed Destroyer my guitars, and harmonicas, and then I turned on my science channel on television. Together Destroyer , and I studied occurrences of outer space, and then I showed Destroyer my riding lawnmower.

I shared my riding lawnmower with Destroyer , because his push mower needed a spark plug. Later we enjoyed some outdoor barbecue fun by cooking hot dogs, and we drank diet sodas together on my porch.

Destroyer, and I became the best of friends. Destroyer asked me why was I so nice to him. I said, " It is probably because I have a lot of Italian culture in me. If my mother was alive she would cook you some delicious meatballs with shell macaroni . In fact I should cook us up a gorgeous pizza the way we like them with cooked shrimp.

I also have a trumpet, a flute, some banjos, a ukulele, a mandolin, and some electric, and acoustic guitars. " Do you like music Destroyer ? Because if you do , then we can play my keyboard together.

Destroyer asked me if we had a bathroom because he felt like he had to take a potty call . I thought that was kind of strange of him to say that so I may have to take back my forgiveness.

Even though we still drank ice tea right up to the last moment of our failed friendship. I will not be inviting him back to our house ever again. He can go right back to his own galaxy far far away.

God Bless.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)