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"The Big Wedding" or "The Big Flop"?

Updated on June 12, 2014

"The Big Wedding" Movie Poster

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Rating for "The Big Wedding"

1 star for "The Big Wedding"

Quote from "The Big Wedding" Movie Review

"Now the Keaton, De Niro, and Sarandon love triangle is awful. It's not funny, it's not good, it's just nauseating. Keaton is De Niro's ex wife and the mother of their children, one of whom is getting married. Sarandon is his girlfriend, also Keaton's former best friend, and slept with De Niro while he was still married to Keaton's character. Keaton and De Niro hook up while they're pretending to still be married to appease their adopted son's birth mom. Yes, they have sex. And this angers Sarandon's character. Got all that? Does that make any sense to you? Because it definitely didn't make any sense to me and made me hate all the characters."

"The Big Wedding" Movie Still of Cast

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"The Big Wedding" Movie Review

My eyes! My eyes! How they are burning! Hurry someone get me some Visine drops so I can flush the sight of this movie out of my eyes forever!

"The Big Wedding" was a movie I had been looking forward to after seeing the previews for it on tv. After seeing the cast I had very high hopes for it. Diane Keaton, Robert De Niro, Katherine Heigl, Robin Williams, Susan Sarandon, Topher Grace, Amanda Seyfried, and Ben Barnes are all great actors, so naturally I assumed "The Big Wedding" would be a great story.

Once "The Big Wedding" was on Netflix instant I excitedly began to watch it. The beginning starts off promising enough. De Niro narrates a bit of the family's history while Diane Keaton's character walks up to the family's lovely house by a beautiful body of water. She then walks in on Susan Sarandon about to get cunnilingus from Robert De Niro. And yep, it's awkward. That scene pretty much explains the entire movie. The entire movie is scene after scene of cringe worthy lines, poor execution on the actor's part, and overall a terrible screwed up story. It should be renamed: "The Big Flop".

The plot is the youngest adopted son in a family is getting married. He wants his adopted parents to pretend that they're still married to appease his birth mother who is extremely Catholic as he believes she won't approve if she finds out they are divorced. The story follows this screwed up situation the last couple days leading up to the wedding. It sounds fairly simple enough and if they'd stuck with keeping the jokes revolving around that it wouldn't be so bad. Instead the writers incorporated stupid situations and conflicts for every single one of the family members. The worst by far is Topher Grace's issue. He's still a virgin after taking a vow to wait until marriage. And that's fine, except the second his adopted brother's slutty sister shows up he changes his mind and wants to bang her to kingdom come. She gives him a hand job under the table at one point while everyone is eating dinner and at that point I just felt sick about the whole movie. I didn't find it funny at all just disgusting.

As much flack as Katherine Heigl has been getting by movie goers and other actors I think her issue and her acting was the only good thing in this entire mess of a movie! She's been having infertility problems and marriage issues because of it. I'm not sure why but she was the only actor who seemed to be trying to act and not just reading off lines the way everyone else was.

Ben Barnes and Amanda Seyfried are also decent but considering the wedding is their wedding they bizarrely never have enough screen time for you to care that much about them.

Now the Keaton, De Niro, and Sarandon love triangle is awful. It's not funny, it's not good, it's just nauseating. Keaton is De Niro's ex wife and the mother of their children, one of whom is getting married. Sarandon is his girlfriend, also Keaton's former best friend, and slept with De Niro while he was still married to Keaton's character. Keaton and De Niro hook up while they're pretending to still be married to appease their adopted son's birth mom. Yes, they have sex. And this angers Sarandon's character. Got all that? Does that make any sense to you? Because it definitely didn't make any sense to me and made me hate all the characters.

This movie is sooo bad. It's sooo bad I can't even believe how bad it was it was that bad! What makes it even worse is it had plenty of potential! It has an amazing cast! It has a decent premise! Then they ruined it with the worst script with the most lazy, vulgar, bland, mentally challenged writers imaginable. There's nothing here to like. The actors just generally seem uninterested in the movie. It's like they know it's going to be a bad movie and they just showed up to get paid. That's right, they showed up for a big fat paycheck after unleashing this monstrosity onto the unsuspecting public that would buy tickets because they are amazed at the all star cast they got together for this and they don't know that they're in for a garbage pile of a movie. It's like getting the best baseball players in the league on one team and once all the fans flock and buy tickets they watch the players fail and be unable to function as a team. It's like watching a brand new mustang convertible get slammed into by a piece of trash truck at 70 miles per hour. It's just terrible! Don't bother seeing this stinker. If you want to see a funny movie with a wedding in it and Robert De Niro watch "Meet the Parents".

"The Big Wedding" Movie Still

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Quotes from "The Big Wedding"

Don: "Want a piece of advice, kid? Stay single as long as you can."

Lyla: "You know why I've stayed away from you for all these years? Because I'm your daughter. Jared got mom's traits and I won the lottery with all of yours."

"The Big Wedding" Movie Trailer

Where to find "The Big Wedding"

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