The Boss Baby
6 / 10
- Animation is fairly decent. The characters are very expressive, and I love all the different character designs for most of the babies, as they do a better job differentiating most of them; unlike last year's "Storks"
- Cinematography wasn't too bad.
- 3-D effects were impressive, and it's definitely worth seeing in 3-D if you can afford it.
- Babies are cute in the film
- Voice acting was good; especially Alec Baldwin, who seemed to have a lot of fun with his part in the movie.
- Pacing was decent.
- The story has a ton of plot holes that don't make any sense.
- The entire movie is built around one joke, which is "I'm a baby that talks and acts like a man." Yeah, it's cute and funny, at first. But after awhile, the joke tends to get a bit old.
- Very cliched and predictable story
Warning: The entire review will contain spoilers. Do not read if you intend to go into this film, with no prior knowledge of any key plot points throughout the movie. If you don't mind spoilers, or if you already seen it, then read on at your own discretion.
Who's the Boss?
"The Boss Baby" is a fairly generic inoffensive animated adventure comedy that I'm sure most families will enjoy. The story revolves around a guy named Tim, who's voiced Toby Maguire, as he narrates a story that allegedly happened to him when he was younger. Flashback to Tim's childhood days, and he's happily living with his family. Often daydreaming about rescuing his parents from fierce pirates, while loving the attention his parents always give him. Life couldn't be better for Tim, until he gets a new baby brother.
Unlike "Storks" that did imply that there were other ways to have a baby than storks delivering them to families across the world, this film basically tells you to screw all that, as all babies come baby corp. Yes, all that crap that we learned from sex education classes at school, and/or talking to our parents about the "birds and bees", is a complete crock, according to this film. Nope, every baby that's ever lived comes from baby corp. Who runs baby corp? I don't know. The film never states, as all we know is that baby corp is a place that resides up in the clouds.
Each baby is born out of an assembly line, while playing the song, "Cheek to Cheek" by Frank Sinatra. So does that mean that baby corp is in heaven? Seriously, the lyrics to that song even say at the beginning, "Heaven, I'm in heaven." So does that make god the CEO of baby corp? And if so, then why the hell is he leaving a bunch of babies in charge to run the damn thing? Doesn't he have angels to do that? However, let's not get ahead of ourselves, as I'll be delving more into this in a minute.
For babies that are ticklish, they get assigned to a family on Earth, while the ones that aren't are immediately assigned into a management position at baby corp. Periodically being fed a special baby formula to keep themselves eternally young, but they miss out on a normal childhood, and their awkward teenage years later on, as they're immediately trained to be adults once they're moved up to management.
Damn, so it's similar to Dr. Zoidberg's people from "Futurama" eh? Either you live a bland boring a** life without ever having sex, or you can live your life having sex when you get older knowing you're going to die someday? By that, I mean they miss out knowing what sex is like when they grow up of course, as implying anything else would be just all kinds of wrong. But, I digress.
Anyways, one of the boss babies is assigned to Tim's family because his father works for puppy corp. The leading competitor against baby corp, as the other corporations like Kittycorp and etc don't seem to mean anything to baby corp, as they're not even a threat according to our little boss baby's pie chart. Nope, it's just puppy corp they have to worry about, as it seems they're working on a new puppy that can stay eternally young forever.
Needless to say, the boss baby must put an end to this plan immediately, or else risk having puppy corp put baby corp out of business. Although to be honest, that really doesn't make any sense. I mean how would puppy corp put baby corp out of business exactly? Don't get me wrong. I get it. They're both rival businesses in this world, but wouldn't humanity die off if baby corp went out of business? Seriously, unlike "Storks" that at least gave you other options in their world on how babies were born, "The Boss Baby" film just straight up tells you that the only way to have a baby is through baby corp.
Granted, I know this is just a cartoon that we're not supposed to take seriously. But if you think about the in universe logic of this film, then it doesn't make any freaking sense. And since I'm assuming god runs baby corp, then why the hell would he allow a rival company to put it out of business knowing that if it goes under, then humanity is proverbially screwed?
Of course, we later find out the mastermind behind puppy corp's scheme, to put baby corp out of business, is an executive who used to work for baby corp. Dun dun dun. Apparently, this character was lactose intolerant as a child, so the baby formula to keep him eternally young didn't work, but it worked long enough on him to become a prestigious figure at baby corp before he grew his first tooth? But wait a minute. In another scene, the boss baby himself had a tooth too, so why wasn't he thrown out of baby corp as well? Why is that other schmuck the only one getting thrown out on his proverbial a**? Sheesh, no wonder why he's bitter, as I'd be too if I were him. Moving on. He was moved onto a family, and vowed to seek revenge on baby corp for firing him. Okay. Before we move on, I think we need to cover a few plot holes here.
Apart from the ones I've already brought up, I would like to ask a few questions. For starters. If the special formula is supposed to keep babies eternally young, with adult minds, then why the hell did it only work long enough for the main antagonist to stay young enough to advance deep within baby corp before growing up? Does that mean that special formula can only reduce the aging process significantly on lactose intolerant babies? And if that's the case, then why the hell did the guy turn back into a freaking baby at the end when being exposed to it again? It doesn't make any sense.
Another problem is the fact that it was established that all babies lose their memories of baby corp once they lose their special pacifiers. Fair enough. However, you're seriously telling me that the antagonist of this movie was able to hold on to his baby pacifier the whole freaking time growing up just so he could remember baby corp? Are you freaking kidding me? So when the kid was in high school was he just sucking on his pacifier in class or something? It just doesn't add up.
And his f**ked up plan to destroy baby corp? It's beyond sadistic and disturbing, when you think about it. Going by this film's asinine logic of how baby's are born, then that means if his plan works, then we end up with a future that's eerily similar to "Children of Men", where society will slowly die out over time because humanity won't be able to have children; hence destroying the human race over time. Wow. So let me get this straight. Because you were fired from baby corp, that gives you free reigns to want to destroy humanity's future? Wow, that's beyond f**ked up for a kid's movie.
Apart from all the inconsistent plot holes that don't make any logical sense, even if you go by in universe logic, the rest of the movie is pretty much what you'd expect it to be. The trailers sell you on the notion that it's a family comedy based on an ongoing joke that a baby talks and acts like a man, while showing babies doing cute things. And for the most part, that's exactly what you get. You see babies doing cute things, with the ongoing punch line of "hey, here's a baby that talks and acts like a man."
And unfortunately since the film constantly relies on that one joke throughout the entire story, it does tend to get old after the first half of the movie. Yeah, I'll admit it was funny and cute, during the first half of it. Hell, I especially loved the car chase sequence with Tim and the babies out in the backyard, as it's probably one of the cutest and funniest animated scenes that I've seen in awhile. But after that scene, the joke does tend to get a bit old.
Granted, your five or ten year old kid probably won't mind, but if you're an adult watching this movie, then the constant one joke punch line can get a bit boring after awhile.
Overall, "The Boss Baby" isn't that bad of a film to check out. Sure, it has tons of plot holes that don't make any sense, and it constantly relies on the same damn joke throughout the film, but it's a decent inoffensive family movie. Is it the best animated film out there? Hell no. Not even by a long shot. However, if you have kids that are begging to see it, then I can certainly think of worst things to watch in theaters. Just don't go in expecting to see the next animated masterpiece like "Moana" or "Shrek", and you should be fine.
However, if you ask me, I think parents would be better off taking their kids to see the new live action remake of "Beauty and the Beast", as it's way better than "The Boss Baby." But, that's just me.
© 2017 Steven Daniels