ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The National Association for the Advancement of Gustnadoes (NAAG)

Updated on February 25, 2011
Gustnados are real!!
Gustnados are real!! | Source

A Gustnado is a Tornado.. without most of its wind

I was happily drinking coffee and forcing down a reduced priced whole-wheat bagel when the Tornado Siren began to sound. I thanked God for an excuse not to finish my bagel, grabbed my kid and my dog and headed down to my brother’s house where they have cupcakes.

The sky was dark and ominous, the winds were blowing at 70 miles an hour, and the cupcakes were chocolate. The children went down to the basement with the animals-which is really where we like to keep them anyway, (the children and the animals) and the adults gathered around the TV to see what was happening in our front yard. We were completely unprepared for what we saw.

The meteorologist, with a worried look on his face, explained that there was a line of Gustnadoes heading straight for our county. The station then switched to the outside camera where we saw a woman running down the street with a Gustnado following her. Well, we were fairly certain that it was a Gustnado, there were leaves blowing in circles. That’s a Gustnado, right?

This prompted an in-depth discussion between my brother, my sister-in-law, and myself. These Gustnadoes, were they here legally, or did they blow over the border when no one was looking? Why were these Gustandoes being given airtime that rightfully should have gone to the tornadoes? Were there gangs of Gustnadoes or were they just small clusters of hard-working family-type Gustnadoes?

My sister-in-law felt that the red line on the screen indicated the Gustnadoes, my brother was certain it was the green. I, myself, am color-blind when it comes to Gustnadoes, so I did not make a judgment call.

Then, my brother completely shocked and horrified me by relegating the Gustnado to the group of “minor wind events”. Why are they minor? Are they not wind? Do they not rotate in a circular manner? Did they not make the woman on the camera run? How could my own brother show such prejudice? It was appalling.

My sister-in-law, however, moved in quickly to cover the gaff. “They are a wind event, like any other wind event,” she quickly said, “and, as such, they are capable of destroying anything they put their wind to.” Of course, this brought up another question. If they decided to follow in their ancestor, the tornado’s, path, and take out a trailer park, would they get the credit, or would they be lumped in with trailer-park-destroying tornadoes?

We quickly decided they needed representation to make sure nothing like this would ever happen. So we formed an association, The National Association for the Advancement of Gustnadoes (NAAG). Actually, my sister-in-law formed it, and I signed on right away. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m prejudiced against the Gustnado.

I’m thinking of talking to the local cable television station about sponsoring Gustnado TV. All Gustnado, all the time. Maybe once a year they could have a Ms.Gustnado contest. They could judge which Gustnado generated the most wind in the shortest amount of time. Tornadoes would not, of course, be allowed to enter. They’ve had all the attention for far too long now.

There is, of course, also the question of breaking through the Gustnado glass ceiling. The tornadoes are all up there, blowin’ around however they see fit, while down below, the Gustnadoes are left the scraps; the leaves, and stray branches, the occasional trash can. It makes me sick.

We need to have affirmative Gustnado action. We need it yesterday. The Gustnado is such an overlooked wind event that Webster’s doesn’t even bother with a definition. If only the Gustnado were given the same chance as other wind events, I’m sure it would be successful. We cannot sit back and allow this travesty to continue. We must stand up and be heard. We must fight for the Gustnado, as it is too weak a wind event to fight for itself. In general, that is. I’m sure that are some Gustnadoes that are capable of leading the fight and helping to pull the others along. They just need the opportunity.

Wow. All that activism has made me hungry. I think I’ll eat a cupcake now.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Chris- bless you!! This is my only published hub that had absolutely no comments!! I tried to go back and rewrite it, but I really liked it the way it was.

      I have a very brainy side to me that I hide quite nicely- glasses and all.

      This was actually supposed to also be a tongue in cheek discussion on discrimination... but alas, only my boogers and farts seem to get noticed.

      I am so happy to finally have a comment on here! You really are the best follower EVER!!!

    • ChrisLincoln profile image


      7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California


      Missed this one somehow. So sciency and everything, all that wind and no mention of the tiniest of toots. I bet you wore glasses and a serious jacket while writing this professor Sue, you sly meteorologist. (why is that not the ology of meteors?)

      We don't really have wind events in SoCal. The wind is freaked out by the earth moving I think...


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)