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The Perturbed Gleek: All or Nothing

Updated on May 13, 2013

All or Nothing

Well, it’s Regionals and the season finale so let’s nerf (I’m sorry, have them progress to their natural conclusion) as many plot threads as possible.

To start things off with a gripe, let me just say that I can’t stand the way that this show goes out of the way to point out its own flaws. Yeah, nobody cares whether Will and Sue are or are not friends, but you don’t need to tell us that, show. It’s not funny, it’s not cute, and it’s obnoxious. And Glee does that. All. The. Time.

Brittany

Thing of note: filling out a Scantron in crayon breaks things. Also: Brittany apparently has the mathematical secrets of the universe contained within her head. As such, she thinks she is better than everyone else, putting down the whole Glee club, demanding all of the solos, and dumping Sam via text. I’m constantly amazed (read: not amazed at all) how happy this show is to shoot likable characters in the face for the sake of, well, nothing worthwhile. Sue stops in to knock some sense into her and that does nothing except provide Sue a paycheck this week, but Santana shows up (NY to OH flights are super cheap, obviously) and gets to the heart of the matter: Brittany was accepted to MIT but she has to leave immediately. I’m not going to get into how a character can just go to college when they have not yet graduated high school, but hopefully this leads to a Brittany that actually has a realistic level of intelligence to her.

Rachel

Rachel wins. She sings good and she wins. Rachel wins everything. I type this as she sings but it’s already obvious she wins. We won’t find out till next season, but yeah, she wins. Next.

Ryder

Ryder has had it up to here (imagine me doing that motion) with his Catfisherman and he’s not performing at Regionals until he finds out who it is. He does so in as scary a manner as possible, flipping out and banging chairs. Marley confesses and Jake defends her, causing Ryder to stalk out, but it’s pretty obvious it’s not Marley. I’ve felt it was Unique for weeks and sure enough, it is. Ryder takes it better than one might expect from his violent outburst earlier, but he still tells Unique that he’ll never talk to her again. And he decides to quit Glee club following Regionals, but I don’t expect that is going to stick. (Nor will his hatred of Unique, for that matter.)

I did particularly like the way Marley just sidled out of the conversation.

Blaine & Kurt

Despite being refused by Burt last week, Blaine is set on marrying Kurt. Based on everything he says, it seems like he’s so excited that gay marriage is legal that he’s willing to jump all of the guns that ever existed in order to prove a point. He seems downright surprised that the jeweler he goes to has no issue with gay marriage, almost as if he was expecting a confrontation and wanted to get all high and mighty. That the jeweler is gay and manages to convince Blaine to wait is certainly a way to push things off till next season, but I can’t help but feel that Blaine is the wrong character to suddenly leap head first into this.

Schu & Emma

…get married. With absolutely no foreshadowing or build-up. Whatever.

Regionals

Just occurred to me that Regionals is not the same as Nationals, so this whole season has taken up less than a school year. I’m not entirely sure how this is supposed to work since the show has more or less stayed in time with the calendar holidays, but whatever, Earth-G.

And I have surprisingly little to say about this. “All or Nothing” is not a terribly great song, but the other performances were good renditions of all right songs.

Songs

Everything was fine this week.

How was this Week

It’s a big comedown, as far as season finales go, from the fantastic one-two punch of Nationals and graduation last year, and it seriously doesn’t even feel like a finale. I can only hope next year the New York plotlines will be a little less annoying, and the stuff in Lima will actually do something new for a change rather than ape old plotlines, but I suppose we shall see.

How was this Season

I didn’t like it. I mean, that should be pretty obvious when most weeks the best thing I can say about this show is that it didn’t offend me too much, but it’s not like I hated everything here. While a lot of the new characters were one-off copies of old characters (Ryder = Finn, Jake = Puck), by the end of the season they at least had some original twists to them, and they were all tolerable. By that same token, some of my favorite characters from past seasons got stuck in awful plot lines with Kate Hudson or got involved with fashion magazines or, more commonly, dropped off the face of the Earth until sweeps hit and the writers decided they needed random cameos. Then there was awful stuff happening in Lima like a fake school shooting and random molestation. So, yeah, didn’t like it, sometimes hated it, but it wasn’t bad enough to drive me away forever.

So we’ll leave things for the season with my favorite New Directions 2.0 performance. It’s nowhere near as good as the original song, but no Glee song ever is. This one had a level of fun to it that I thought wasn’t matched anywhere else in the season.

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