The Princess Bride - An Alternate Story Line
Like many others I really enjoy movies and The Princess Bride is one of my favorites. But I often find myself wondering “what if one part of a movie was different than the original story line? It could change the whole movie.”
This is just a little write up of how the movie could go.
The Alternate Story
What if in The Princess Bride Inigo Montoya is only 2 years old when Count Rugen kills his father and the count kidnaps Inigo and raises him as his own son? Given Inigos background Rugen keeps him close to sword fighting and because he is a count, Rugen can afford better teachers than Inigo would have had otherwise. At this point it could go either way meaning Inigo could embrace the teaching and become the best sword fighter he could be or he could be a rich snob and only be learning because his father is making him and not take it seriously. For this story line we will go with the former. Now everything else in the movie is the same except Vezzini has a different swordsman/all around handy man guy working for him instead of Inigo.
So when the time comes, it’s only Westley and Fezzic storming the castle (the other guy isn’t important anymore. Fezzic is because he’s Andre the Giant). So they storm the castle but in this scenario Westley has all his strength because Miracle Max’s miracle pill was more potent. So Westley and Fezzic are in the castle and when Humperdinck sends Rugen to go see what the commotion is, Inigo follows, he’s like Rugen’s right hand man.
When they all meet up in the hallway and Westley sees Rugens right hand he is reminded of a story told to him by a Spaniard crew member on his ship. The story is about a six fingered man who killed best sword maker in his village and kidnapped the sword maker’s son. Westley also notices Rugens sword which matches the description of the sword from the story. Before any fighting ensues Westley asks about Inigo’s mother to which Inigo responds, “she died giving birth to me”, the lie Rugen told to Inigo when he asked about his mother. Westley then tells Rugen he has heard of a sword which is similar to his, and that it belonged to a six fingered, sword maker killer/kidnapper. Inigo gets very confused at this statement since Rugen has six fingers on his right hand and Rugen always said this was a one of a kind sword. Westley keeps pressing the issue until Inigo starts questioning his father creating somewhat of a diversion. Rugen storms off and Inigo follows making a fuss about the truth coming out. Fezzic takes care of the security minions with a series of chicken wings, body slams, and sleeper holds while Westley makes his way to the honeymoon suite.
Westley gets Humperdinck to give up butter cup the same way he does in the original version. The big ending is when Rugen and Inigo’s fight spills over to the area where all the guests are. After words are exchanged about the situation and people start figuring out what is going on, the out of his mind King says “Oh Rugen, you finally told the boy you stole him after killing his real father because you didn’t want to pay full price for that sword you commissioned that Spanish sword maker to make”, or something along those lines. This infuriates Inigo because he knows the King is telling the truth due to the fact the King is at that age where hes old enough to not care about what he says. Inigo attacks Rugen and an epic sword fight begins.
Because they are in the crowd of guest, there are casualties all over the place (everyone wants to see how this plays out so nobody is leaving). Westley and Buttercup also make their way down to the battle. Westley notices that Inigo is incredible almost immediately. After Inigo has slain Rugen Westley slowly approaches and apologizes for what he had to do but explains his actions and Inigo not only realizes it was necessary but thanks Westley for bringing out the truth. Taken by what a stand up guy Inigo is Westley offers the ship and the Dread Pirate Roberts position to Inigo. Inigo invites Fezzic to join him because he’s a giant and he would probably come in handy.
Westley and Buttercup live happily ever after and Inigo and Fezzic tear it up on the open seas. Eventually they get a spin off book/movie called “The Adventures of The Pirate and The Giant.
Other "What If's"
If you enjoyed this check out my alternate ending for The Goonies.