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The TMZ Theocracy: "Why?... 'Cuz I've Got Nice Titties!" Part 3

Updated on September 17, 2009

Over my long life, I've had the opportunity of having everything from short chats to truly brotherly relationships with these "celebs" (in first name alphabetical order):

  • Andrea Martin
  • Anne Jackson
  • Annie Lennox (Eurythmics)
  • Ashford & Simpson
  • Billy Connolly
  • Billy Joel
  • Bryan Adams
  • Catherine O'Hara
  • Chubby Checker
  • Claudio Villa (Greatest Italian Singer Of His Generation)
  • Dan Aykroyd
  • Daryl Hannah
  • Doug Henning (Magician)
  • Eli Wallach
  • Eric Clapton
  • Eugene Levy
  • Federico Fellini
  • Graham Chapman (Monty Python)
  • Howard Hawks (Director)
  • Jack Lemmon
  • Jean-Claude Van Damme
  • Joe Cocker
  • John Candy
  • Luciano Pavarotti
  • Marcello Mastroianni
  • Martin Short
  • Meat Loaf
  • Michael Parks (Kill Bill)
  • Mickey Rooney
  • Mike Myers
  • Natalie Cole
  • Pat Simmons (Doobie Brothers)
  • Paul Anka
  • Peter Gabriel
  • Peter Ustinov
  • Phil Collins
  • Rick Moranis
  • Robin Williams
  • Romina Power (Tyrone Power's Daughter & Euro Singing Star)
  • Salt N Pepa
  • Saul Rubinek (Frasier)
  • Sophia Loren
  • Steven Van Zandt
  • The Bee Gees
  • The Fat Boys
  • Treat Williams
  • Vittorio DeSica (Director)

And I've found that these people break down into pretty well the same categories as everyone else. Some are awe-inspiring luminaries, some are sheer dolts, and the majority are just regular everyday people with all of the failures and foibles that you and I share.

Of the luminaries, I have to note first and foremost:

  • Bryan Adams
  • Claudio Villa
  • Doug Henning
  • Eric Clapton
  • Federico Fellini
  • Luciano Pavarotti
  • Meat Loaf
  • Robin Williams
  • Vittorio DeSica

These people literally walk six inches above the ground. By far the greatest single person I have ever known, in and out of show business has to be Robin Williams. I had the chance to spend some time with him when he was shooting Jumanji in Tsawwassen, Canada and his intellect is as close to Einsteintanian as any individual I have ever had the privilege to know. This man is not just quick, he has warp drive neurons. Robin has the unparalleled ability to comprehend the essence of a sentence from the first three words and by the time you're done he already has a comment on it, which is not just related, or merely apropos, but laser focused to a level where the only possible explanation is his genetic twinning with a Muse, and a damn funny one at that.

Claudio Villa was not just my friend. He was my brother. I loved Claudio as much as any straight man can love another straight man. He often remarked as to how he felt towards me as his son, which was doubly interesting since he did have a son, albeit one that he never legally recognized as it was out of wedlock. There are some people on this earthly plane who walk in light every day of their lives. Some called them angels in an earlier age. I do not believe Claudio was an angel (otherwise he would not have turned his back on his biological children), although many of his ardent fans in Italy who revere his memory and his records might dispute that. Listen to his records and you will hear the Musick of the Spheres! And what records! Can you name anyone else who recorded more than 3,000 songs, and each and every one of them a classic? Not to mention that he sold almost exactly as many records as there are Italian citizens? I'll always miss you, Claudio.

Continued In: The TMZ Theocracy: "Why?... 'Cuz I've Got Nice Titties!" Part 4

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