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The Vampire Diaries -- All My Children

Updated on February 17, 2012

The episode opened with, no big surprise, the boring little doppelganger. She's not happy. She's even more unhappy when Stefan won't answer her phone call. Striking out with her first choice, she calls up her second choice. Damon does pick up. First thing out of her mouth is she tried to call him ten times the night before and he didn't answer. Gee, sweetie, he was a little busy having vampire sex, so sorry, he couldn't be at your beck and call. The next is if he's mad at what she did he needs to get over it. Yep, no apologies, because she doesn't think she has anything to apologize for. No, she just got Damon's own brother to break his neck because she found him to be an inconvenience now that Stefan is back and she thinks she may have another shot at him if she can just get him to feel or for throwing his love back in his place and saying she found it to be a problem she didn't want to deal with. No, Damon needs to get over it. He should suck up her shit like he's done so many times before and be there when she wants him and to get lost when she doesn't want him around. Damon tells her he is over it and hangs up the phone then he looks over at a sleeping naked Rebekah in his bed.

Now Little Miss Thing doesn't like Damon not being at her beck and call when she wants him and clicking the phone in her ear. She gets out of bed and gets dressed to go over to see Damon in person. If Stefan had picked up the phone and acknowledged her, I doubt she'd even be giving Damon that much attention. Since Stefan isn't making himself available to her, Damon is good enough, again.

Only, Little Miss E picks the wrong time to come knocking at the door. A shirtless Damon is walking Rebekah to the door. I actually got a kick out of their conversation as they walked to the door.

Rebekah: Let's not make a big thing of this.

Damon: My thoughts exactly.

Rebekah: Besides, I imagine you'll be calling soon enough.

Damon: Let's not hold our breath.

Then Damon opened the door for Rebekah and whose standing there with an I-can't-believe-what-I'm-seeing look, but the little doppelganger. Rebekah has a smug cat who'd just been in the cream look on her face. While Damon looked like he regretted the doppelganger finding out he slept with Rebekah and that he felt guilty about it and ashamed.

I know people are saying the doppelganger was jealous, but it seemed to be more about her than Damon. She came over to the Salvatore house because Damon didn't come to heel on the phone and hung up on her. She's so used to Damon swallowing all her crap she couldn't handle it when Damon didn't agree with her he should get over it because she got his brother to break his neck and because she made him feel there was something wrong with his feelings for her when she's been on him since she met him to feel.

I imagine in her mind she thought Damon was sitting in his room brooding about her and not answering her phone calls to find out the truth that Damon wasn't answering his phone because he was too busy having sex with Rebekah. In short, he wasn't thinking about her all night long. He wasn't thinking about her, at all. Then she tried to get Damon to feel ashamed for what he did, reminding him Rebekah tried to kill her. Of course, completely neglecting the fact she got his own brother to kill him. Yet, she's over there acting like nothing happened. She's not even offering an apology for what she had Stefan do to him. She's acting all self-righteous.

Then she tries to use Damon sleeping with Rebekah to get him to be in on her plan to ruin Esther's plan to kill all the Originals. Damon's back to being himself, which he hasn't been since the moment in 2.15 that he agreed to let her call all the shots, which the real Damon never would have agreed to knowing this ninny and her lousy plans. So, he didn't agree with her and told her not to mess up Esther's plan. Even worse, her heart's desire, Stefan, sided with Damon. Yep, he temporarily found his balls to stand up to his emasculator and tell her he was on Team Damon, which he's been on a lot of times, but he's gone along with her because he didn't have the balls to stand up to her.

Anyway, off she went to Bonnie to whine about Damon sleeping with Rebekah. Of course, Caroline overhead and entered in trashing Damon. I think Elena left out the part she had Stefan break Damon's neck and threw his love back in his face. Might not make her look good. She also figured Bonnie would agree with her, since Bonnie always agrees with everything she says, but surprise, Princess, Bonnie was on Team Damon's side, too. Sucks to be you.

The old Stefan is back. He's writing in his diary, he's putting Damon down as being inferior to him, and he's getting Damon to admit he loves Elena when Stefan knows the only one she wants is Stefan. Yep, he's back. Can't say I missed him. I actually found him somewhat tolerable as The Ripper even though the story was lame. I don't know, but I find it sadistic the way Stefan gets Damon to admit he loves Elena, when he knows Damon doesn't have a shot with her. Wouldn't the kinder thing to do be to allow Damon to pretend he doesn't care. It's like it gives him some secret kick to get Damon to admit he loves her and then for Damon to say she doesn't want him, but wants Stefan.

Stefan claims he's been off the blood since he shoved blood down Elena's throat and threatened to murder her on the same bridge her parents died. I'm not buying it. I think he's been off the blood since he stole Klaus' coffins or when Klaus got him to bite Elena. It's hard to tell because it wasn't played or written as Stefan being addicted to blood. Frankly, the last time Stefan acted like he was addicted to blood was in the season two finale. That's why I say The Ripper story was lame.

A lot of people speculated that when Damon was sexing up Rebekah, Klaus, Elijah, Kol and Finn all felt it because they were linked. Don't think the show went there. However, Elijah doesn't buy that Mumsy wants to reunite the family. He goes straight to Lose Lips Gilbert to confirm it. She agrees to go for a nature walk with him and it isn't long before she's spilling her guts. Damon was right. He told Stefan she was going to screw everything up.

I don't know what she expected to happen after she admitted to helping Esther plan to kill him and the rest of his siblings. It certainly wasn't for Elijah to super-stomp the ground and to take her down into the cavern and to leave her to Rebekah's tender mercies.

We've been down this tired old road so many times before. It was time for everyone to risk their lives to save the little doppelganger. We know they're not going to kill her based on the fact the show must think she's the end-all and be-all the way they shove her worthless hide into every freaking story on the show. Rebekah spoke for everyone of us who are sick to death of this over-exposed twit. And I loved Rebekah throwing gasoline on her, when the doppelganger thought she was so smart because she got into the Lockwood crypt and Rebekah couldn't enter. She wasn't so smart when Rebekah started throwing lit matches as her gasoline-soaked hide. Of course, the doppelganger couldn't resist suggesting the only reason Rebekah had sex with Damon was because of her. Yeah, you know Damon is so ugly and unsexy no one would want to have sex with Damon for Damon, it could only be because of her. Yes, Elena, everything is always about YOU.

Anyway, Elijah goes to Damon and Stefan threatening to let Rebekah rip the doppelganger's throat out unless they help him stop his mother. Esther has teamed up with Bonnie and Abby to enact her spell. Since there's a full-moon tonight, tonight's the night. Elijah wants them to kill the Bennett witches.

Damon comes up with an alternative plan to use the dagger on one of the Originals. Kol is the target. Yep, Damon's holding a grudge because Kol snubbed him. Snapping his neck wasn't enough, now Damon's going to have him staked. He enlists Alaric and Meredith. He also sends Caroline in to lure Klaus out of the Mystic Grille. It's a good plan and it works like a charm. Kol gets staked with the sacred oak ash dagger. Wonder if they dipped it in white oak ash? Only problem is while Klaus feels a stabbing pain, it doesn't knock him down like the rest of the siblings. So, because he's a hybrid, the dagger no longer affects him. At least for this week.

Klaus isn't the brightest bulb in the package, but he realizes Caroline lured him into a trap and his crush may be over with. He rushes to unstake Kol and wants to kill Damon, but Elijah says they still need Damon. With no more options, Damon and Stefan toss the coin on who will kill the Bennett witch and earn little Elena's hatred. You know, going by how long Elena stayed mad at Stefan for shoving vampire blood down her throat and making her relive her parent's death by threatening to kill her on the same spot her parents died, like two seconds, I don't think it would have been that big of a problem. But Damon kills Abby and turns her into the vampire, saving Stefan from Elena's ... snicker... eternal two second hatred.

It's actually a good thing Damon took matters into his own hands. Now that Stefan's back to being Old Stefan his balls have shrunk two sizes too small. He kept talking about how he had to whack Bonnie and not doing it. Dude, wouldn't have had the guts to do it, any way.

Then the big brave Mikaelson's boys go to confront Mommy and Brother Finn. Needless to say when Klaus is all "I'm going to send you back to hell," Mommy puts them all in their place, by telling them she's had to watch for 1,000 years all the atrocities they've committed. She tells Elijah, even he, who professes to be so noble, isn't any better than the rest. When Damon puts the bite on Abby. Actually, I think it was his trademark neck-snap after shoving vampire blood down her throat, Esther and Finn disappear in a puff of smoke.

The little doppelganger is set free after Rebekah tells her yet someone else had to die to save her worthless hide. She goes over to see Bonnie, but Caroline won't let her through the door. Bonnie doesn't want to see her. Wow! A little bit of consequences for once in the little doppelganger's life.

Mommy's words have had an affect on Elijah who says Esther made them vampires, but they made themselves monsters. He and Kol book it out of town. Rebekah decides to stay, since Nik is the only one who has never left her. She also tells him from one of the wall paintings the white oak ash tree isn't extinct like they thought and it's going to bloom, meaning they're still in danger. Gee, Alaric, maybe you shouldn't use a wannabe high school drop-out to decipher wall paintings next time. Mason told Damon the wall paintings told how to kill Klaus. Alaric should have listened to Damon and Mason and not put his trust in the doppelganger.

Meanwhile, Damon's is right on another score. He's been warning Alaric about Meredith and Alaric has called him a dick and hasn't listened to him. When Alaric wonders what he can't remember the attack on him, Meredith suggests it was a vampire. Later, Alaric finds some disturbing things in Meredith's apartment that point to her as The Council Killer. Even more disturbing is she pulls a gun on him and shoots him. Remember this moment next time you don't listen to Damon about something, Alaric. He's got good instincts about people. Especially, someone who vervains him and then blood-jacks him.

Seriously, I don't think Meredith is the killer. I think it's going to turn out to be Katherine, trying to make The Council go after The Originals the same way they did the vampires back in 1864,


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