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The Vampire Diaries -- Down In New Orleans Past And Present

Updated on December 13, 2012

The episode where hypocrisy ran rampant

Yeah, had to force myself to watch this episode, as well. So wasn't looking forward to the hypocritical two-faced self-righteous Stefan butt-kissers Dead Lexi and Cacaline spewing their crap.

Sometimes I wonder just what kind of witch weed these writers are smoking as they write this stuff. This was some of the crazy crack is whack stuff the characters were spewing.

Cacaline -- The Ripper is so much better than Damon because he didn't have a lot of sex with women. No, he just cut women's heads off you vapid dipstick.

Tyler -- Only by being submissive can you be free. Isn't that the definition of being sired?

Stefan -- You didn't really think I'd go along with sacrificing 12 people to break the sire bond? Why not, Stefan? You've already sacrificed two people to make a tattoo grow.

And here's mine to Cacaline. It's better to see you being tortured then to hear you open your big fat mouth.That was my favorite part of this episode. When Kim threatened to bite her, I was like, "Bite her! Bite her! Bite her!" And then when she threatened to stake her, I was like, "Stake her! Stake her! Stake her!" And I really enjoyed this vapid dipstick screaming in pain. After being subjected to this ninny for the last two weeks, I could go a whole episode of seeing her tortured and still want more.

Anyway, Elena had to have had what was the dumbest idea for her to ever have and that's saying something. She decided to have a party with Cacaline [who treated her like crap, last week] and Bonnie, who are both Damon haters. The minute the words were out of her mouth, you knew this wasn't going to end well. That Cacaline would start her crap up since she's a devout worshiper of The Church Of Stefan. I just want Elena to give it to her with both barrels when Cacaline starts sniffing at Klaus' butt like she's sired to him. See how the two-faced self-righteous hypocrite likes getting it thrown back in her own face. People who live in glass houses, Cacaline, shouldn't throw stones.

Anyway, the girls night ended when Cacaline was kidnapped by Kim [the hybrid Tyler freed from Klaus' sire bond.] Tyler and Elena teamed up to rescue her, but considering the stuff she's done to both of them recently, they wouldn't be blamed letting the vapid dipstick get exactly what she deserved. She thought it was no big deal her buddy Stefan killed Tyler's friend and she hasn't been any kind of friend to Elena now she's not worshiping with her in the Church Of Stefan.

Anyway, Tyler threatens to rip out Kim's heart if she isn't submissive to him as the alpha wolf of the pack and the other freed hybrids bow down and would probably have kissed Tyler's dusty boots if he ordered them to. Okay, so how is that any different from being sired? I guess it's because they're being submissive to Tyler of their own freewill instead of being submissive to Klaus against their will. Yeah, it doesn't work for me, either.

After Cacaline can't wait to tell Elena she's sired to Damon, Tyler explains that the sire bond is about doing what you're told to do, but has nothing to do with how you feel. In short, her feelings for Damon are real. Stefan gets the same stuff from Nandi the not-so-good witch who tells him and Damon that the reason Elena was sired is because she had feelings for Damon before she became a vampire. So basically if you have feelings for the vampire that turns you, you become sired to them.

Meanwhile, while all this was going on Stefan couldn't wait to go tell Damon that Elena was sired to him and got Damon to test it out by asking Elena to drink a blood bag. They're pinning it on Damon for Elena not being able to do Stefan's animal blood diet. The writers for this show aren't good because if they planned this sire bond from the start of the season, then they shouldn't have had Elena refusing to do things Damon told her to do that proves she isn't sired to him. Where was the sire bond when Elena attacked Damon for trying to kill Matt? Or the many other times Elena did something that would indicate she isn't sired to Damon.

Anyway, Damon and Stefan go to New Orleans to look for a witch Damon knew back in the 1940's. Were you surprised the witch turned out to be black? Me either. Esther was the only witch to be white and I'd bet money she's got some black blood in her somewhere. This whole thing that all witches are black has gotten a little old. So has the witches taking advantage of Damon and giving him killer migraines while not laying a finger on precious Stefan.

Valerie, the witch Damon knew, tricked him into killing 12 people, so she could do the blackest of black magic called Expression, which just so happens to be the same kind of magic that Professor Shane is teaching Bonnie to do. When Stefan learns Damon killed 12 people he gets all self-righteous about how he'd never agree to kill 12 people to break a sire bond. But just how many people would Stefan kill to make a tattoo grow? In short:

Stefan, Stefan, quite contrary.

How does the tattoo grow?

With dead hybrids.

And humans I killed.

And pretty maids all in a row.

Anyway, Nandi tells Damon the only way to break the sire is to basically break-up with the one that's sired to you. He does it with Charlotte, his ex-girlfriend, who was still sired to him from the 1940's. Then he goes home to do the same with Elena, only she won't let him. Guess what? If Cacaline could have kept her big fat mouth shut Elena wouldn't have been prepared for what Damon was going to do and convince him not to do it. In short, Cacaline your big fat mouth cost you from getting the results you've been trying to get with your slavering ranting and raving. Well done, Cacaline.

We also got treated to Salvatore Brother flashbacks with Dead Lexi, too. I was wondering if this was the moment the show would reveal why Dead Lexi was such a nasty beyotch to Damon, only Damon never did a thing to her. It made me glad anew he staked this heifer back in season one and killed her. She really got what she'd been asking for since 1864.

Actually, this episode showed what a vapid dipstick this two-faced hypocrite really was. Her idea was to have Stefan drive an ambulance in the war where all the people would be bleeding and wounded. Yet, the instant Stefan got some human blood on his fingers he was all ready to go Ripper. Yeah, that's the way to keep him on the wagon, you vapid dipstick. She also insisted Stefan make up with Damon like she wanted Stefan to have a relationship with his brother, but the minute Stefan's back was turned she sabotaged any relationship Damon and Stefan could have together. Damon offered to be an ambulance driver with Stefan in the war and she got Damon not to show up, making Stefan think Damon ditched him. What a friend...NOT!

You know, the way Dead Lexi attached herself to someone she hadn't even met and then acted like she wanted Stefan to have a relationship with Damon, then sabotaged it behind his back. It kind of makes you wonder if she wasn't all there in the head.

Finally, apparently 12 is some magic number in whatever Professor Shane is up to. There was probably 12 council members that Pastor Young sacrificed for him and now Haley has gotten him 12 unsired hybrids. She did this in exchange for information on her parents, who the Prof reveals is dead. But he claims that means nothing and if she keeps helping them she can be with them. So what are we looking at? The Zombie Season? It does sound like he's planning to raise the dead. If he succeed I want a Damon and Giuseppe scene. I want to know the truth about their relationship.

Anyway, in thirty minutes the fall finale will air. Someone is supposed to die in it. I probably couldn't be lucky enough for it to be Cacaline. This character more than any other is making me not even want to watch.


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